Dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage. In India, it has been a tradition from pre-historic times. Maharajas (kings) use to give huge piece of land, jewels etc to their daughter before sending them to husband’s home. This continued and over the course of time every member of the society had to pay dowry during the marriage. In 1961, law was passed where dowry was prohibited but it still was practiced through-out India. Dowry was one of the reasons for female infanticide. People started saying it was due to lack of education, dowry and dowry deaths were happening, but we have horrifying facts below.
Check out the above facts & other shocking figures in the video below:
Education and Good jobs are used as one of the reason for demanding more dowry! And the dowry rates are huge if you are working in an MNC. Here are some of the details, which we collected from our sources:
And this is not the end. Even after the dowry is paid, there are constant demands. These demands are mixed with sentiments:
And sometimes it’s some XYZ excuse to get money from the girl’s family.
While we understand dowry demands from the rural people (illiteracy), but Techies? They are using their education and Job as an EXTRA qualification to ask for dowry, no, more dowry! While they boast of meeting international people, doing great jobs and getting big fat package, they continue to demand dowry in one way of the other. What if you not demand dowry directly, you parents might say we need this and that for the guests, we want marriage at this big place and whatever you give is for your daughter. These are just another way of asking MONEY. Some argue they have given money for their daughter’s marriage and now they want to compensate by demanding dowry for their son. What Bullshit!
I have a recent case of a girl working with us, who recounts her experience with these GROOM-Sellers:
This girl works in a software company and is 27 years old. She is from a middle class family and has one more sister and a brother. She says her father, a Government employee, has worked very hard to get her and her brother/sister the best of education. She is the topper in Masters of Computer Application Degree and earning a fairly decent salary. Her father has approached more than 100s of families and in most of the cases the talks end with demand for dowry. Some says RS. 1 million, some asks for Gold, Silver, Properties and some even setting up a house for them to live. And 95% of the families they have approached are from well to do background and son earning a good fat package with big software company. Her father is broke now; he regrets why he didn’t save for the dowry. SHAME!
But my question is WHY SHOULD HE GIVE DOWRY! Isn’t the girl educated as well. Hasn’t the girl’s father spent thousands (and out of reach money) to get her daughter educated! Then why should be pay dowry? And I m sure this will not be the end. After marriage as demands increases, the dowry demand will continue. As per reports, the people paying dowry continue to pay something or the other throughout the life. Its shame that education, position and status are used as an extra catalyst for demanding HUGE DOWRY!
And Mr. Techie you! Your parents might have old thinking, what about you? Can’t you say NO! Can’t you feel that this money is not your MONEY! Doesn’t your conscience SAY NO. And remember you techie, this money will never bring joy in your life, it has tears of the parents of the girl. It will just bring misfortune!
While reports says more than 25% CVs are fake and more than 70% of the techies are UNEMPLOYABLE, its shame that they use their DEGREES and APPOINTMENT LETTERS to increase their value in the MARRIAGE MARKET! I also blame the girl’s parents for paying Dowry! What if you can afford, you are supporting an ill-cause in the society. And if you cannot afford you go to the extent of taking LOAN and paying the dowry. As stated above 80% of the people asking for dowry keep their demands throughout the life and many leads to Dowry deaths. It’s better to keep daughters at home than to throw them in front of HUNGRY DEMONS, who will make your daughter’s life hell and ultimately you will hear about her unfortunate death. Dowry death people go unharmed due to lack of evidence or money power. So we cannot rely on the law to help eradicate this. Instead we should bring these GREEDY TECHIES in front of all. Companies hiring these techies should blacklist them from the industry so that this disease can be removed from the society.
Finally, we are the fastest growing economy in the world. Have faith in yourself. Do not demand or supply dowry! Bring out the culprits who are misusing their degrees and position for dowry so that we can expose them and create awareness. Remember if you support dowry, you are equally wrong! Girls, do not let your parents support such cause, remember you are equally worthy in the society and money cannot measure your worth.
What happened? Surprised?
Anyways, answering ur points, I have better work to do rather than fighting with a man who is no where ready to accept the facts.
So, Mr. Rahul Bye!!! You keep fighting women are this and that. Remember ultimately, u need to marry a woman only..
I appreciate your sense of portraying ur views. Its really good. Try using it in eradicating some of the burning issues of INDIA, like dowry, dirty politics etc…
Your real name is Rahul Verma or Rahul Aggarwal?
Dear Pinky,
“HYDERABAD: A non-resident Indian (NRI) techie’s parents were arrested for ALLEGEDLY harassing their daughter-in-law for additional dowry in Begumpet on Sunday.”
It is just allegedly by that girl, nothing is proven yet, and nothing will ever be proven. There is CISR data that 98% of the cases are false.
So it is not 10:1 in favour of girls, it is 49:1 in favour of men.
And if our friend Madhuvanthi has finished cheering others with comments like ‘well done pinky’, ‘good job rips’ – she can answer to my point-wise email
Wel done Pinky!!! Now Say VIRAG, RAHUL, KRISHNA, XYZZZZ, What do u have to say about it..
I am still waiting for a response from VIRAG regarding his own incident of false dowry.
The ratio is 10:1. For 10 females getting harassed coz of dowry there is one from false dowry… This is what the author wants to put on in his / her thoughts…
Now again please stop fighting, and together as true citizens of INDIA lets find some solution for this…
And also this:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/931940.cms
So there are 2 sides to this topic. Rips and Virag both have valid points!
Read this
HYDERABAD: A non-resident Indian (NRI) techie’s parents were arrested for allegedly harassing their daughter-in-law for additional dowry in Begumpet on Sunday.
Read full story below
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Cities/NRI_techies_family_held_in_dowry_case/rssarticleshow/3051920.cms
This
And also, you have clearly agreed that even if you are paid 20 lacks, you are not for sale. But Mr. Rahul, women are being sold today also.. This is the topic that we are discussing..
Agree to the fact that even if it is 20%, there is dowry problems and try to find a solution to eradicate it rather than fighting for the rights of MAN & WOMAN…
Again you have changed the topic here. PLEASE STOP COMPARING a MAN & WOMAN. They cannot be compared. Both have their own positive & negative points. We can discuss that leisurely when we have another article about that on this site…
Discuss about DOWRY. You want to say that there is no dowry happening in INDIA? What about the plight of my friend’s parents who are still searching day and night for a guy (never mind if its a graduate guy, MIND U, NO TECHIE HERE) for their daughters. But they are not getting. If that guy is not a techie, they demand more saying they cant afford it, this is a chance to get the dreams fulfilled…
Dear Madhuvanthi,
1. You agree that you want to be a housewife, so accroding to many men – you just want to relax at home and make the man earn while it should be your joint responsibility.
About how much work a housewife does, well child-care does not last 5 years while I hope marriages last that long. Apart from that, there is a washing machine, there is a dishwasher etc etc. So I do not think taking care of a house is a full time job – and when we men are going to share the household responsibility – in cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning stuff.
2. Coming to your problems.
a. if you are complaining about periods – then are u saying only bec u have periods, should you be given a special place in the society? just for ur information mensural cycles improve the phsyical health
b. menopause – well men also have andropause
c. about gang rapes – well most rapes happen bec both the parties are at fault. women provoke men. eg mike tyson’s case. he met a girl at a disco, they danced together, kissing etc in the disco, then they came back to his apartment, long drawn foreplay and just before intercourse, the girl said no and tyson could not control. tyson was wrong but do u think that the girl was right?
girls enjoy foreplay also but guys do all that just for the main act, hence its natural for a guy to expect pleasure in return of all the peripheral foreplay.
3. of course women are more bigamous by nature, if you would believe i can forward you a study done by UK medical society.
4. Also, recently there was a study (last week) that said people with multiple sex partners live longer, and we all know that women live longer than men
5. About your comment “if suppose you are being paid 2 lacs per month, will you agree to serve a girl and her family?” – i am not for sale, its only girls like u in the market who get traded for the guy who earns the max. i will not serve anyone for 2 lacs per month or 20 lacs per month irrespective.
The point is if you earn 25k per month then be satisfied with a guy who earns 25k per month too. Do not dream of a guy who earns 1 lac per month.
6. finally when ever someone says ‘respect a woman’, i realise that they have nothing else to be respected in them, hence they say respect me bec i am a female, what non-sense
Hello Mr Virag Dhulia & Rahul Verma and all those typical Indian male chauvinists!!!
I dont know from where the author has bought the news from but I agree 100% with the author that even today I have seen IT guys asking dowry. I have many evidences but the fact is no one would like to come in public because then, U males would not let them live in peace. This article should indeed be BIG slap on all those techies who demand it. And yes, I do agree to the fact some techies are indeed innocent but then, who is talking about them? Its all about those who demand it MAN!!! Read the article twice again.
And also, if you read my comment I have clearly stated that even girls today are no less, but here the topic is something else. So why to argue about the men who are innocent and girls who are bad, speak aloud and if possible try doing something about the men who are wrong.
And yes, these days girls and their parents wish for a educated and wealthly son in law, Wont u wish ur daughter should be leading a happy life? and whats wrong in wishing to have a wealthy life? Wont that wife serve you and ur family till her last breath? Girls parents just WISH that their son in law should be wealthy. But men they DEMAND it. I hope u know the difference between WISH & DEMAND!!!
Virag’s sentence “What is the daughter’s share in the parental property is passed off as dowry.” is so cheap. Arrey if parents have so much money & property, why would they strive to give dowry. They can give it easily and get off with these money beggers.
And for you Rahul, Yes, we girls would like to be house wives. Do you have any idea how much work a housewife has? More than an employed male. If you are not satisfied, apni maa aur behan se poochna. Just try to be a house husband for one month aur jab tumhari PHATEGI na, tab pata chalega what girls go through. And you want to know
the problems of a woman, Ok Listen: Have u heard of periods? Pregnancy? Hysteria? menopause? Gang Rapes? Ever heard of a women gang raping a man?…. And what men want? only SEX 24hrs.
Dont you dare to say that women go to multiple men. Its a man who is never satisfied with one woman.
And ur recent sentence: “So marriage is a transaction, the guy brings 1 lac per month, what does the girl bring?” OK, so if suppose you are being paid 2 lacs per month, will you agree to serve a girl and her family? Rips has correctly ripped you off with his / her comments. Great work rips.
Before writing about the girls and their family, did you do a research on how many dowry cases are still pending in Indian Courts. If not, please go and check out. Many males have always wanted a reason to say that marriage is bad. If marriage is bad for men, It is equally bad and worse for a woman. She leaves her parents, siblings friends in the hope that she will be kept happy in the so called new home, but no, U make her life HELL…
Also, ur recent comment Virag, that you have been a victim of false dowry. Can you give me the date of the times of India paper where ur case was printed or any site where it is mentioned (I have seen u mentioning them in blogs, I want to see the one that media has mentioned).
and RAHUL, for ur sentence “I wonder why any good girl would want to get married to such a guy.”, Wel, all male think the same way as you think that there is no difference b/w dowry and gift. So where are the good men? We are left with no choice but to agree for men like u who are so inconsiderate… U want to know the difference, I will tell u the difference. Gift is given from heart to a person willingly, dowry is snatched from a father who would have earned it by letting go his sleeps and food.
Your attitude towards a woman is clearly seen by ur comments. GROW UP AND TRY TO RESPECT A WOMAN. I am again making u remember. We are not discussing here about the men who are good or fight for men & women rights. Try to make the men who are bad understand that what they are doing in bad.
Dear Sonal,
Educated people – working in MNCs and techies are logical people.
I do not understand a situation where if you are earning, then why is any guy asking for money along with you.
The logic for money involved was as mentioned in my earlier comments – that after marriage the guy and the girl become equals in everything that they own, so they should also bring to the table equal things – in order to get into the marital alliance.
And Rips – I am not surprised that you do not understand where this story is going, because you thought you will portray a sorry picture about Indian women and we all will agree. That was the only scenario where this story will go in your desired direction.
While – that is not true.
Dowry does not exist. You have still not been able to tell me the difference between dowry / gift/ streedhan! So if these terms mean the same to you, then accept that dowry does not exist, we can discuss the other two.
As far as guys demanding money are concerned, they are bad people, and I wonder why any good girl would want to get married to such a guy. Now – are you telling me that all guys are bad?
As far as telling real-life examples is concerned, I can also tell several examples – that does not really matter. I have posted some data at national level – statistics. That has more number of examples that you or I would personally witness
@VIRAG @KRISHNA
I have so many live stories and proof to show still guys working in Big company wants cash.
I m also working in a reputed software company earning very good amount .My father is searching a guy who is also educated.but still he is facing problem of demanding money from boys family.
And RAHUL u told guy bring 1 lacs per month .now days girls are also bringing more than 1 lacs per month .
Actually this is not matter of boys and girls the whole stories is why so much educated people working in big companies visited Foreign seeing their culture but still wants money not from their family but from girls family .
Because this is the direct source to get money once a time.CORRECT?
I do not know where is the story heading now. Dowry by techies is a bitter truth but probably male readers fail to acknowledge or help us remove that sin from the society!
Krishna, firstly u have addressed me as Ribs, its Rips. Thanks for addressing me properly next time.
Regarding your claim to show you the article, I do not have article handy that says techies demanded dowry, but we have real-life instances of people around me who dowry-demand-victims. And there has been reports in the media as well (oops i forgot, you do not rely on media).
Again, I do not need to justify with concentrate proof to you. I will make sure that this blogs goes public and let the people decide if at all I offended anyone by enlighten the harsh truth.
Similar to my allegations, Virag, Rahul and now you have also addressed many cases without any concentrate proof. Virag has given me list of quite a number of web sites that details False Dowry claims etc, but what about 100s of web sites that cry over dowry harassment and dowry claims by the rich and the well-qualified people? Aren’t those enough to justify my article? Why do you want to hear the names of those people here? I have not written this article to create problems for them. And if at all I need to, I will do in the near future so that people like them think twice before asking for any dowry, or gifts.
Regarding False Dowry or Misuse of this law, let me soon write an article on that. I m sure you all would love to add 100s of thoughts there!
Rips..
Please provide link to the article where techies demand dowry. Today there are very few ppl who demand anything. guys only demand good girls and that too they dont get. And Ribs how can u say a girls serves the in-laws?? IT IS BOGUS CLAIM. NO GIRL SERVES IN LAWS. and u ask whether we will live with the parents of the girl if she is rich and earning?? lacs of young unemployed ppl are there who will do so… and Ribs i tell u.. if u refuse to accept dowry, as i did, u will at once be viewed with suspision.. i know a wife quarells with husband as to why he did not ask for AC from her father if he cannot afford it on his own??? take it from me GIRLS THEMSELVES WANT THAT THEIR FATHER GIVE HUGE MONEY TO THEM.. and what do u think Ribs?? Father of the girls is also a guy… is all guys demand dowry then he too demanded it.. whats the problem if he has to repay it to his daughter??? this is a round world Ribs… both families have girls and guys both… so a person becomes harishchandra if he is the father of a girl.. and becomes a Ravan if he is the father of a guy… if he has a son and a daughter then he is simultaneously Ravan and Haarishchandra… what a paradox ribs… only u can solve it… confused person..
Thanks virag… ‘Dowry’ is essentially a bogus word. Typical Indian scenario is that the husband earns and the wife do not earn. Dont talk only of metropolitons. in other cities the wife sits home and the husband provides her with everything.. food, shelter, name, fame.. anything.
now to set up a house (or a home) both should contribute equally. why only the husband should take the financial responsibility? the wife, even after one day of marriage gets equal share in husband’s property. whats wrong if the girl’s father provides some support for the setup of a new home? And infact this is legal because the girl has legal share in parental property. tell me dear all girls here how many of u did get share in parental property? i hope none. now some girl argued that boys’ parents said that we have spent on the education etc. in Indian set up however educated a girl may be it is never the responsibility of the girl to run the household. the law puts all the burden on the man. the woman lives in the house provided by the man and his family.
and by the way there are so many unemployed but educated boys. why cant the girl own up and take the responsibility of the house and marry the guy? why do u think that techies demand more? only because their demand is more. it is up to u girls. u can bring down the demand of the techies by not going to their house for marriage. u can pick any graduate student who is struggling for a job, take the share of ur parental property, take ur salary and leave the techie. why the hell do ur fathers wag tails in front of the techies? only u have increased their demands. and u ask virag if he is tortured by his wife… yes he is…and so am i and many others… and i have no shame in saying that because there are millinons like us. and u say that the bride will give her earnings to in-laws… THERE CAN BE NOTHING AS RUBBISH AS THIS… no bride can ever do this… they even quarell with their husbands if he gives some share to his mother… basic question is HOW MANY FATHERS GIVE THE GIRL THEIR LEGAL SHARE IN THEIR PROPERTY??? reply sonal and others… did u get a share in parental property?? NO… and u will not say that ur fathers are a big cheaters!!! they consider their daughters a burden… WELL SAID VIRAG… KRISHNA
Rahul, where are u coming from? Dowry do exists! Do you want me to invite the whole india to this blog to justify that?
And do you think being housewife is easy job. Try for 1 month and your 1 lac per month job will be 100 times less stressful than managing house and children!
On this lines:
“So marriage is a transaction, the guy brings 1 lac per month, what does the girl bring? ”
Will you go and stay with girl’s family if the girl is earning more? Will it be easy for you to leave your parents and serve the parents of the girls? Probably you would as you want to count everything in terms of MONEY! A girl’s family, who takes care of the girl for 18-25 years and have to part with her, no money, no gifts can replace the emotions that is involved when a father has to part with his daughter, when a mother’s best friend has to say good bye to them and go to a new environment!
“If a girl is equally qualified…”
Is salary the measure for a girl being highly qualified and not qualified? Perhaps a girl is more qualified on the fact that even after working at office, she comes, prepares the food and ensures family eat the food before she can rest.
I do not want to sound bad with whatever thoughts you have put Rahul, but there seems no logic. Can we address the dowry issue, can we address why dowry is still needed by the HIGHLY Qualified Techies? We can look into the other side of the story of False Dowry in other topic. By giving all the above reasoning you are justifying DOWRY or GIFTS!
PS correct my Grammar please
Thanks
Dear Rips,
Dowry does not exist.
If you insist that monetary exchange happens at the time of marriage, then it happens because girls want to get guys ‘better’ than them.
Tell me,who do orinary housewives expect to marry techies who earn 1 lac rupees per month through arranged marriage? Arranged marriage is a marriage market where marriage is viewed as a transaction.
Actually, if we go back into history, marriage started bec of economic necessity rather than a necessity for sex (which is the main reason today).
So marriage is a transaction, the guy brings 1 lac per month, what does the girl bring? So the guy expects the girl also to work, but as the first comment in this thread, girls of India do not want to work.
If the girl is also qualified, then the question of any monetary exchange does not arise – that is what I call education, where girls are educated and earning, and not turning to be just a burden on the husband financially.
Female foeticide in India happens because of the lies that uninformed people like you spread about dowry.
Rahul
I have no idea about 114,000 cases of false dowry cases and I did not do research on that as that was outside the scope of the topic. So shall we conclude that dowry by techies or anyone is justified because the girls are misusing the Law, the girls are greedy, the parents of the girls are asking for money. If those are the issues, we need to address them separately. But we cannot justify dowry by techies with those stats, can we?
Dear Rips,
Dowry is a bogus word.
If people said dowry existed because of illiteracy, then it is the illiteracy of the girls and not the boys.
So, people should educate their daughters first before dreaming of MNC techies as their son-in-laws so that they can enjoy the luxuries of his salaries.
And about the one case in Delhi. Well, do you know that in the last 4 years more than 114,000 women have been arrested in false dowry cases.
Virag
We are sorry to hear your case and yes thats a serious issue as well. I know as a matter of fact that one family in delhi did the same with her husband. Thats all recorded and fine, but why are you mixing two things here:
1. Dowry still prevails and I guess you have acknowledged it
2. Many use to say that dowry is in the society due to illiteracy, and that’s what I wanted to project – that even getting such good education and money, people refrain from taking dowry, gifts whatever u call
Having opened our eyes with regard to dowry cases, I will do my research and ofcourse write about those girls/women and parents who have misused the LAW and have held people like you into problems. I will get back to you when I have a draft of that topic, will ask for your inputs as well.
Thanks