Dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage. In India, it has been a tradition from pre-historic times. Maharajas (kings) use to give huge piece of land, jewels etc to their daughter before sending them to husband’s home. This continued and over the course of time every member of the society had to pay dowry during the marriage. In 1961, law was passed where dowry was prohibited but it still was practiced through-out India. Dowry was one of the reasons for female infanticide. People started saying it was due to lack of education, dowry and dowry deaths were happening, but we have horrifying facts below.
Check out the above facts & other shocking figures in the video below:
Education and Good jobs are used as one of the reason for demanding more dowry! And the dowry rates are huge if you are working in an MNC. Here are some of the details, which we collected from our sources:
And this is not the end. Even after the dowry is paid, there are constant demands. These demands are mixed with sentiments:
And sometimes it’s some XYZ excuse to get money from the girl’s family.
While we understand dowry demands from the rural people (illiteracy), but Techies? They are using their education and Job as an EXTRA qualification to ask for dowry, no, more dowry! While they boast of meeting international people, doing great jobs and getting big fat package, they continue to demand dowry in one way of the other. What if you not demand dowry directly, you parents might say we need this and that for the guests, we want marriage at this big place and whatever you give is for your daughter. These are just another way of asking MONEY. Some argue they have given money for their daughter’s marriage and now they want to compensate by demanding dowry for their son. What Bullshit!
I have a recent case of a girl working with us, who recounts her experience with these GROOM-Sellers:
This girl works in a software company and is 27 years old. She is from a middle class family and has one more sister and a brother. She says her father, a Government employee, has worked very hard to get her and her brother/sister the best of education. She is the topper in Masters of Computer Application Degree and earning a fairly decent salary. Her father has approached more than 100s of families and in most of the cases the talks end with demand for dowry. Some says RS. 1 million, some asks for Gold, Silver, Properties and some even setting up a house for them to live. And 95% of the families they have approached are from well to do background and son earning a good fat package with big software company. Her father is broke now; he regrets why he didn’t save for the dowry. SHAME!
But my question is WHY SHOULD HE GIVE DOWRY! Isn’t the girl educated as well. Hasn’t the girl’s father spent thousands (and out of reach money) to get her daughter educated! Then why should be pay dowry? And I m sure this will not be the end. After marriage as demands increases, the dowry demand will continue. As per reports, the people paying dowry continue to pay something or the other throughout the life. Its shame that education, position and status are used as an extra catalyst for demanding HUGE DOWRY!
And Mr. Techie you! Your parents might have old thinking, what about you? Can’t you say NO! Can’t you feel that this money is not your MONEY! Doesn’t your conscience SAY NO. And remember you techie, this money will never bring joy in your life, it has tears of the parents of the girl. It will just bring misfortune!
While reports says more than 25% CVs are fake and more than 70% of the techies are UNEMPLOYABLE, its shame that they use their DEGREES and APPOINTMENT LETTERS to increase their value in the MARRIAGE MARKET! I also blame the girl’s parents for paying Dowry! What if you can afford, you are supporting an ill-cause in the society. And if you cannot afford you go to the extent of taking LOAN and paying the dowry. As stated above 80% of the people asking for dowry keep their demands throughout the life and many leads to Dowry deaths. It’s better to keep daughters at home than to throw them in front of HUNGRY DEMONS, who will make your daughter’s life hell and ultimately you will hear about her unfortunate death. Dowry death people go unharmed due to lack of evidence or money power. So we cannot rely on the law to help eradicate this. Instead we should bring these GREEDY TECHIES in front of all. Companies hiring these techies should blacklist them from the industry so that this disease can be removed from the society.
Finally, we are the fastest growing economy in the world. Have faith in yourself. Do not demand or supply dowry! Bring out the culprits who are misusing their degrees and position for dowry so that we can expose them and create awareness. Remember if you support dowry, you are equally wrong! Girls, do not let your parents support such cause, remember you are equally worthy in the society and money cannot measure your worth.
Dear Divya,
Not all the world and media is wrong. People like yourselves read only what they want to read.
Have you gone through the list of evidences that have been posted in this forum? (Eg the NCRB data, eg the CISR report, etc etc)
One more reason for people to believe that women are tortured is: when their fathers tortured their mothers, hence they grow up thinking women are tortured. So one man being bad (one’s own father) does not mean the whole male community is bad.
Dowry does not exist. It is a bad thing and I am glad it is absent.
Women should have more self-respect, get educated, get financially-indepdent so that they have a life beyond being at the mercy of their husbands in case the husband isn’t a nice guy
@Preeti, @Shilpa, @rips,
Yes it is a fact that I have been hit by a false dowry case by my wife because I refused to separate from my parents as per her and her parents demand and I was threatened to cough out 12 lacs in the police station for not filing the case and not only there are thousands like me who suffer from a false dowry case and suffer huge losses.
But that does not mean I am anti women or pro – dowry. Yes of course dowry for me is a bogus word.
“It apperas that you have suffered from some false case and that has created a greater impact on your mind.well it’s somewhat true what you are saying ,nut not every thing is true.
I think it’s a shame on us that we are living in India and considering dowry as “bogus wordâ€.
Don’t you watch television and all where daily comes the cases,that a girl is burnt ,injured …because she was not completing the demands for dowry,she is sent back her home to bring more things from her home.If she can’t complete those demands the guy marry sm other girl..is this good .??That only is the meaning of marriage?”
Well Shilpa, television and media is highly influenced by political factors to portray women as victims so that people never get to know the other side of the story. If your idea of dowry has been developed from television which is anyways called an “Idiot Box” then I don’t think I should be arguing with you at all.
Just for example take my case, I was arrested and when I was inside a totally false and concocted article about me was printed in the Times of India who neither bothered to verify facts nor take my side of the story. Now any third person like you who reads it will always think bad about me. Shilpa will always think Virag harassed his wife for dowry whereas only I know it is not a truth. This is not written for any sort of sympathy. I am just quoting an example how false are media reports and how badly influenced is the Television.
So that cannot be a benchmark.
The problem that I have with rips is that he/ she has held only husband techies responsible for the dowry menace. Why? Are not the girls parents responsible for it? Do they not force to accept expensive gifts? Anywhere a dowry exchange (if that is the word you people understand. to me its bogus) then both are responsible. Is it not the wish of the girl to get a rich husband? Is that not greed? Then supposingly there is a dowry demand. what’s wrong, the girl is also not a devout human? She too is materialistic. She too wants to enjoy life at her husband’s expense. Then how come the ‘techie’ badly attacked here is solely responsible and why should he alone bear the brunt of the fallacy?
Feminists have created so much -ve euphoria about the word dowry (thanks to the unfortunate power lobby they enjoy) that people forget the daughter’s right in ancestral property.
Till date tell me one instance where a son got separated from his parents before marriage.
To all here again, if media is your source to believe that dowry demand is prevalent in India, then it is high time you change your views as media is not at all reliable. They rarely print truth, they print what creates sensation.
Any other source, let me know.
So all the world, media, people are wrong and Mr. Mithun and some of your friends are right?
What proof do you have that girl’s greedy family are making DOWRY as their source of income. I find the artcile perfect. Try to understand the logic of the article:
Dowry is still prevalent. We thought illiteracy was the reason. But when learned people like techies earning so much demands money, its nothing less than shame!
Rips is right, not all, but many techies, who comes with the same narrow thinking background, still continues to demand GIFTS. Gifts should not be demanded by friends, so thats why those are dowry!
Ha Ha… Taking media as a proof of your fantasies?
That’s biggest joke… Its afterall the media who’s spreading all the lies with obvious funding from the so-called women’s organisation….
Someone start funding me a few crores of Dollars every year, and you’ll see how media writes everything that I say, and in a couple of years there will be similar articles as this, quoting media reports as evidence!
Neither in the article, nor the comments give any concrete source of the statistics picked from…
Dear Shilpa,
Dowry is a bogus word.
About the TV and media, they always portray women as a weaker section of the society. And women who have self-respect are not ready to accept that. (I am not talking about the majority who are happy to be put in the same category as SC/ ST/ OBC if they can get some extra benefits).
Talking about weaker section, do you know that world over they live longer than men? as much as 5 yrs longer – so who is weaker?
Now thinking beyond the gender arguements, and thinking about where did this word dowry come from. It came from the greedy parents and brothers of the girl itself. They do not want to give their daughters a fair share in the ancestoral property, hence they said ‘this is dowry’.
The question of any monetary exchange in a marriage does not arise if the guy and the girl are of equal status. The problem arises when parents of handicapped girls want them to get married to techies earning 1 lac per month, and hence give money in order to compensate for their daughter’s limitations.
Dear Rips,
Dowry by techies? If you really think that exists, then it is just that these females have managed to fool the world for so long that people have started to believe their lies as truth.
I am not sure how much of study have you done in this area – but would you be able to differentiate between Dowry/ Gifts/ streedhan?
Madhuvanti says “And guy’s demand — Girl must and should earn”. TRUE and the girls never want to work, they want to live off their husband’s salary. This is the attitude because of which India is not able to progress – bec 50% of the nation wants to be a housewife.
‘A girl has to go through so many problems from her birth till death and the guys have no knowledge about the problems of a women’ – Women never mention the actuam problem because they just want to keep the world puzzled and always make vague statements like – ‘you do not understand our problems’ rather than stating what their problems are.
I think there are no problems. Guys are the ones who suffer in India. They are the ones who have to earn. They are the ones who have to work. They are the ones who face torture at the hands of women. They pay more taxes. Women get free education. Women have all the laws in their favour – so much so that married women can legally sleep with multiple men. And here we have Madhucanti talking about the problems of women!
So Rahul u r here to correct my Grammar/english. Thanks for that. I will correct it.
However can we address the underlying problem, which is Dowry by Techies. Have your say on that. Let me also tell you this site is about common indians expressing their thoughts. We are not here to make flowery phrases, which though looks good to read but never addresses the problem.
I read one comment from the author and realised that he/she is more than confused:
“I invited some girls I know who are the victim of dowry by techies to punch in their thoughts. If you want you can get someone from your end to replies to many issues raised by this girl”
First, he/she is saying SOME girls were invited. Then he says THIS girl meaning only one girl!
The author is just a confused person spreading rumours about things that he/she does not understand.
I read only the opening lines and realised it:
“Dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage. In India, it has been a tradition from pre-historic times. Maharajas (kings) use to give huge piece of land, jewels etc to their daughter before sending them to husband’s home.”
Dear Author – first you make up your mind whether dowry is what the woman brings to her husband OR dowry is what the daughter gets.
I am hoping you shall realise the fine distinction.
Whoa!!! Virag, you have made urself many girls as ur enemies man… hahaha.. Wel, I somehow agree to Virag’s point here that girls are no where less these days. He is talking about the girls who are bad in his comments, why are u girls making a fuzz out of it.
no girl is ready to marry a govt employee today. my own colleague rejected a guy coz he was a banquet manager. u know wat she said, she said it would be a shame for me to call my husband as banquet manager. are banquet managers not human? so girls, this is India, if there are bad boys, there are bad girls also.
Virag
I invited some girls I know who are the victim of dowry by techies to punch in their thoughts. If you want you can get someone from your end to replies to many issues raised by these girls. Again, please do not mix topics. I will work on FALSE DOWRY topic and get that on http://www.zorsebol.com soon
[Sentence corrected on advice of Rahul Verma, who wants perfect english before he could address any problem or comment]
Hi Virag,
It apperas that you have suffered from some false case and that has created a greater impact on your mind.well it’s somewhat true what you are saying ,nut not every thing is true.
that’s what prevelant in India.
I think it’s a shame on us that we are living in India and considering dowry as “bogus word”.
Don’t you watch television and all where daily comes the cases,that a girl is burnt ,injured …because she was not completing the demands for dowry,she is sent back her home to bring more things from her home.If she can’t complete those demands the guy marry sm other girl..is this good .??That only is the meaning of marriage?
Every parent want that their girl should be well settled with some educated guy,but excuse me ..they are not given the money for that….,infact the as the guy is educated so his mkt rate grows
Which parental property you are talkin about ,?everybdy in India is not Tata Birla that he is having large ancestrol money to give the share to daughters ,they are lots of poor families also who by chance have educated their daughter,but now as she is educated..it’s becomes more difficult to find the corect match for her,as educated guys demands much..
so India families think it’s better not to highly educate the daughters otherwise it will become difficult to marry them.In some cases it may not be the guy who demands ..but their families demands from girls family and they are told not to tell the guy.
I have seen some cases also,where guy shows I work at this this place,where he actually don’t …and demands a lot of money from girls’s side by emotionally blackmailing them..
Now about which burden you are talking about ..that a Husband has to bear..when the girl is educated ,working on the same package as the guy,then they both are equally sharing the responsibilities of the family..in such cases also do u think it’s burden on the guy’s family…her money is going on in boy’s family only ,not back to her family who have spent their monry to educate her.
yes u are correct the girl shouldn’t marry such greedy ppl .she shld in beginning herself take the step..but smtimes she is kept quiet by the society itself,that this is a rule..we have to do that..what I can we do etc etc…
And yes not every guy is same ,I have also heard of one guy who refused to marry ,if he is given any of the gift or money from girl’s side..So in today world we need only such type of guys and girls who could come forward from their side and stop this activity,it is not only the girl or any one guy who could actually stop this,it should be a combined effort.
Virag
thats what your thoughts are, it doesn’t mean that every of your thought is true.
you are realy far away from ground reality.
There are cases
Young housewife burnt alive for DOWRY.
i am not saying that every one but yes there are many peoples who still believe in dowry
According to them marriage is financial transaction.
“Woman ends life due to dowry harassment”
what are these cases about.
Bride burning and dowry deaths are still happening in high percentage.
actually this is bullshit
Virag one thing if girls parent search educated boy it means that educated guy can take DOWRY? .and one thing every girl’s parents want educated boy for their girls.and even i know so much techies (so much stories ) about dowry…
and u know boys who are taking any high qualification their parents demanding so much money because their boy is taking high qualification and future he will become doctor,enginerer etc wat is this?I know many families like this…
And one thing now days boys family want to marry their with not a girl who is educated but with girl who will bring more CASH!!!
I know one gilrs who is working in some reputed company in pune earning 30000 per month but when her parent went to one family for his girls marriage they asked 10 lacs cash ….
are yaar this girl can give so may 10 lacs to boys family through out her life
and girls parents are not greedy because they don’t expect their girls money after her marriage and working girls give hers maoney only to in laws not hers parents UNDERSTAND!!!!
Virag
Thank you for your thoughts. What you have written is another side of the issue and not what we are trying to focus. We have ample number of cases where dowry demands are huge and from the well eductaED WELL PAID techies. Its not a slap on all techies, we said there are many techies who still demand.
Regarding 25% Fake CV, this report was published in leading newspaper and is as per survey report conducted by leading Survey Company in India. Further it was 80% and not 70% unemployable rate, but we were generous I guess.
Yes we agree DOWRY is also used as a weapon by Girl’s family, but that is a different topic and a story. Even I am a techie and have seen what dowry cases and false dowry cases have cropped in and around me and my contacts.
If you want to write an article on False Dowry cases and Dowry victim Men please do send us and we will review and feature on the website.
Thanks
http://www.csrindia.org/projects/research_Section%20498A.html
This is a total bullshit article and reflects a bad state of mind. This article has no data to support it. Of course dowry as an evil is prevalent in India, but that is only in the mind of people. This article is a slap on all techies. Its actually the girls’ parents who want educated son – in – laws for their daughters so that they can sit on his fat income and spend the rest of their lives. There are so many men who are not getting a prospective match only because they do not have good education. So what is it that the greedy girls’ parents are looking for? Is money everything?
And there are umpteen number of cases where high earning techies have been implicated in false dowry cases and huge ransom has been demanded to spare the innocent groom and his family from a false and frivolous long legal battle. Read this link, which says 98 % of dowry related cases are false. I wonder whose life is in more danger in today world, man or woman?
And in the first place, dowry itself is a bogus word. What is the daughter’s share in the parental property is passed off as dowry. They don’t treat their own daughter equally in their own home and want to pass the whole burden on the husband’s family whereas in India, in 99% of cases, it is the husband’s family who has provided food, shelter and family to the woman.
Before writing such biased articles, did you ever bother to conduct a minimal research on dowry? I guess, no for if you would have, you would have surely landed to these websites,
http://www.savefamily.org
http://www.saveindianfamily.org
http://www.mynation.net
http://www.498a.org
http://www.ghrs.in
spelling out truth behind this miraculous facade called dowry and its related misuse terrorizing Indian married male’s life. Every year more than twice the number of married men are committing suicide than married women and still there are male – haters like you who always want to paint the men in bad light. Is marriage a crime for Indian men, that after marriage there are only responsibilities for men and rights for women. She automatically gets right to everything that the husband’s family has so far earned and then also accuse them of not taking care of her.
What sort of a double standard is this? And if the girls are so innocent and devout why do they always marry up? Why can’t they marry a man who is inferior to them? If a girl wants a luxurious life and hefty pay packets and US green card and blah blah blah, then its OK, same thing if a man wants it becomes a crime. It is feminists like you have ruined the society and contributed to female foeticide by creating hoax regarding dowry by passing all deaths of married women as dowry deaths, even if the woman dies crossing a road or is bitten by a snake!!!!
“While reports says more than 25% CVs are fake and more than 70% of the techies are UNEMPLOYABLE, its shame that they use their DEGREES and APPOINTMENT LETTERS to ”
Which report? Where is it published? Give the data source. Otherwise you can be sued for defamation.
“And Mr. Techie you! Your parents might have old thinking, what about you? Can’t you say NO! Can’t you feel that this money is not your MONEY! Doesn’t your conscience SAY NO. And remember you techie, this money will never bring joy in your life, it has tears of the parents of the girl. It will just bring misfortune!”
Why only the techie? Why not the greedy girl and her parents who are looking for a six figure salary dreaming big for their girls. Why can’t girls stop marrying techies if indeed techies are so demanding? Or is it the other way round, girls following high earning techies with hefty dowries to get married? Did you think from this point? I have instances where the girl’s family refused to marry the guy as he refused to accept dowry thinking there is something wrong with him. Who is more responsible then for propagating dowry?
“A techie doing well in an MNC got offer from another company. He took the letter the other company to come back to his present employer to ask for more raise. On receiving the raise, he went back to the new company again to get his package increased. Why all this? So that he can demand more dowries from the prospective bride family!”
Again bad interpretation and demeaning representation of techies. You are passing out your own sick mentality sitting at the shoulder of the techie?
Excellent, superb article for all the morons who demand dowry. I also know many people in north who demand dowry even today. However, I am a tamilian and here, they do not demand money directly, but they have similar demands of a DIAMOND SET. Imagine, how much it would cost and upon that the marriage should happen with great pomp and show. And guy’s demand — Girl must and should earn (COME WHAT MAY). The guy himself would be earning 1 lack per month. But still they need MORE money. Arrey if wife has to work, who will take care of family? Children? His dadi amma? A girl has to go through so many problems from her birth till death and the guys have no knowledge about the problems of a women…. Its really sad that how females are being treated even today in India. If this is one phase, there is another phase of girls also who have crossed all limits of society and dare to do ANYTHING. Ultimately even they are going to suffer one day. So its always Girls who suffer. A man can never understand what goes through a girl when she is being rejected for such petty things. She will loose her self confidence and the hope to live.
Guys, stop this shameful act and think sensibly.
Also, Rips (author), Nice Pic.. I would like to squeeze all the guys in a similar way who demand dowry or any such undue demands from girls…
This is fact of todays educated and employed secanario .In one respect our country is growing but in some respect still it is going back.I appreciate this article because it is the real stories of every girl wether they are highly educated and or not.we hope this article will open eyes of blind people who are so much fond of money(lalchi log).Actually some of my frnds working in big IT company and i heard they are talking i m getting 10 lacs on my marriage and some are saying i m getting 20 lacs wat rubbish is this!!!!!