Dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage. In India, it has been a tradition from pre-historic times. Maharajas (kings) use to give huge piece of land, jewels etc to their daughter before sending them to husband’s home. This continued and over the course of time every member of the society had to pay dowry during the marriage. In 1961, law was passed where dowry was prohibited but it still was practiced through-out India. Dowry was one of the reasons for female infanticide. People started saying it was due to lack of education, dowry and dowry deaths were happening, but we have horrifying facts below.
Check out the above facts & other shocking figures in the video below:
Education and Good jobs are used as one of the reason for demanding more dowry! And the dowry rates are huge if you are working in an MNC. Here are some of the details, which we collected from our sources:
And this is not the end. Even after the dowry is paid, there are constant demands. These demands are mixed with sentiments:
And sometimes it’s some XYZ excuse to get money from the girl’s family.
While we understand dowry demands from the rural people (illiteracy), but Techies? They are using their education and Job as an EXTRA qualification to ask for dowry, no, more dowry! While they boast of meeting international people, doing great jobs and getting big fat package, they continue to demand dowry in one way of the other. What if you not demand dowry directly, you parents might say we need this and that for the guests, we want marriage at this big place and whatever you give is for your daughter. These are just another way of asking MONEY. Some argue they have given money for their daughter’s marriage and now they want to compensate by demanding dowry for their son. What Bullshit!
I have a recent case of a girl working with us, who recounts her experience with these GROOM-Sellers:
This girl works in a software company and is 27 years old. She is from a middle class family and has one more sister and a brother. She says her father, a Government employee, has worked very hard to get her and her brother/sister the best of education. She is the topper in Masters of Computer Application Degree and earning a fairly decent salary. Her father has approached more than 100s of families and in most of the cases the talks end with demand for dowry. Some says RS. 1 million, some asks for Gold, Silver, Properties and some even setting up a house for them to live. And 95% of the families they have approached are from well to do background and son earning a good fat package with big software company. Her father is broke now; he regrets why he didn’t save for the dowry. SHAME!
But my question is WHY SHOULD HE GIVE DOWRY! Isn’t the girl educated as well. Hasn’t the girl’s father spent thousands (and out of reach money) to get her daughter educated! Then why should be pay dowry? And I m sure this will not be the end. After marriage as demands increases, the dowry demand will continue. As per reports, the people paying dowry continue to pay something or the other throughout the life. Its shame that education, position and status are used as an extra catalyst for demanding HUGE DOWRY!
And Mr. Techie you! Your parents might have old thinking, what about you? Can’t you say NO! Can’t you feel that this money is not your MONEY! Doesn’t your conscience SAY NO. And remember you techie, this money will never bring joy in your life, it has tears of the parents of the girl. It will just bring misfortune!
While reports says more than 25% CVs are fake and more than 70% of the techies are UNEMPLOYABLE, its shame that they use their DEGREES and APPOINTMENT LETTERS to increase their value in the MARRIAGE MARKET! I also blame the girl’s parents for paying Dowry! What if you can afford, you are supporting an ill-cause in the society. And if you cannot afford you go to the extent of taking LOAN and paying the dowry. As stated above 80% of the people asking for dowry keep their demands throughout the life and many leads to Dowry deaths. It’s better to keep daughters at home than to throw them in front of HUNGRY DEMONS, who will make your daughter’s life hell and ultimately you will hear about her unfortunate death. Dowry death people go unharmed due to lack of evidence or money power. So we cannot rely on the law to help eradicate this. Instead we should bring these GREEDY TECHIES in front of all. Companies hiring these techies should blacklist them from the industry so that this disease can be removed from the society.
Finally, we are the fastest growing economy in the world. Have faith in yourself. Do not demand or supply dowry! Bring out the culprits who are misusing their degrees and position for dowry so that we can expose them and create awareness. Remember if you support dowry, you are equally wrong! Girls, do not let your parents support such cause, remember you are equally worthy in the society and money cannot measure your worth.
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I THINK THAT WE HAVE TO JOIN HANDS TO STOP DOWRY
dowery
If a woman is un educated , and the man is making a huge salary, how is it fair for the women to claim half the share of his income, without spending a penny while the man’s parents have shouldered huge costs for his education. Would it not be fair if the woman’s parents give half the money and then the husband and wife have a equal share in man’s income. I am not supporting dowry (just trying to be fairer to the other gender) and request you not to be emotional and abuse me. I am explicitly stating that there may be many many other situations where an equal earning women is asked for dowry and I agree it is unfair then!
feel free to email me at ashwin87gre at gmail.
I agree with Vinisha. I m now happily married to a guy who took no dowry and we are very happy. But I wanted to add one incident, which happened to me.
I live in Pune and my parents are from a native village. My relatives arranged a meeting with a techie guy, who was working in an MNC, incidently, my friend use to work there as well.
He was a nice guy and we had few hrs of dicussion and had the initial approval. We spoke for few days and then I said YES to my parents and received the similar Yes from the guy.
All was well, he use to call me daily. And then one day he said, so what will you all give me as presents in the marriage. I thought he was talking about the usual present and told him that he can expect good gifts. Then he said, what about a Car and say a Holiday to Europe as he loves Europe.
I was shocked. I said we cannot afford that and probably after marriage I can take a Car Loan and buy a car.
This seems to have annoyed him and he says he and his parents have spent lakhs on his studies and soon he will be going to UK for a project. Where can I get a guy like that? This was the first time he was speaking all this (after spending over a month speaking to each other).
Next day my parents called me and scolded why did I rudely speak to the guy. And now the list came like this -
1. Santro Car or better
2. Gold in tune of 3-4 sets for me and 1 set for my in laws, one for my sister-in-law
3. Rs 10 lacs Cash
4. And Misc gifts to all relatives.
5. Honeymoon to Europe or Singapore wherever possible.
I felt cheated. Didn’t my parents spend money on my studies. I was also working in an MNC and was earning almost at par with this guy. I did not respond and asked my parents to stop contacting him. Thankfully my parents understood that they are selfish greedy pigs.
But that Shameless guy called me after few days and said if I was not interested, he has more offers! I could not believe he had guts to even say that. I thought of exposing him in front of media, but why waste time and energy in this useless stuff.
I did however made a point to narrate the story to my friend working in the company and she did her best to spread across office. Last I heard was he left the company for some other offer!
I m happy I stood strong and did not give up to their demands. Else I would have been either harassed daily or would have killed, who knows
Rahul,
I am sorry to say, but this has happened to me where my husband earns less than me and yet my aprents were the one who ended up taking care of the entire expenditure of the marriage, and not only that they were the ones who arranged for the furnishings of the new house and the groom and his parents were so good hearted that though they knew that their son is earning less, they still indirectly demanded for lot of things.. this has happened to me so for me i still believe that dowry system does exist…
This question is for Mr. Ananth:
I earn more ( lot more) than what my husband earns, yet I do cokking, cleaning, looking after the kids and all the other house chores with no help from my husband. So what according to you is the ideal situation here? Should I not demand for a dowry, since I not only earn more than him but also end up cooking for him, washing his clothes and everything else for him free of cost? And even after all that he still happens to demand for dowry in directly.
MOHAMMED
July 6th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
I WANT 2 KNOW ALL THE MATTER ABOUT DOWRY CASE
IAM AFRAID ABOUT MY WIFE CAN BE PUT ME IN PRISON FOR FALSE DOWRY CASE BCOZ SHE GONE 2 HER MOTHER HOUSE WHEN I GET 2 BRING HER BACK SHE REFUSE COME WIT ME AND HER BROTHERS ABUSE IN FILTHY LANGUAGE AND BEATED ME AND THEY FEAR ME U WILL PUT BEHIND BARS EVEN KILL 2 ME MY ALSO SHARE THE ABOVE MY WIFE ALSO SHARE IN THAT WHOLE MATTER
when my mother knows the whole thing she got heart attack and admitted in hospital for 15 days she mentally disturb for me how i suffer
Dawry : in simple terms , Its bit scandel famenists are playing against men for there benifit. Who is getting advantage ?
1. Lawyers , who dont know how to earn just telling wife to put falsey dawry case against hurband and fabricate the things.
and maintenance.
2. Police: Who fabricating the case , they always try to extract money from husband by torchering them.
3. 498A bitch (prostitute): In shape of almoney
Guys come on Dont be quite now.
Prostitution is better then 498A ,I think Govt should provide them valid licence of prostitute if any girl try to use this false 498a just to extract money ..Its money extorsion racket ….lets blow it up …
Venky,
You dun need to pity on me, spend that time doing some useful work. I have people who supports me and that’s what I need, not some pity-sity from guys like you!
Where did I say techies can ONLy give better life? I said Techies are said to be highly qualified and good earning community. And accordingly they are expected to have a good living standard. Further, even an IPS officer or a professional with some MNC companies are said to have a good living standard too. And Girl’s parent have that as one of the criteria, not all!
1. Marrying a techie 90% end up in going to abroad – Thats wrong – Its hardly 30% and that too in long term and many of times the Guy goes for only short term project basis – Get your stats clean Mr. Venky
2. Getting Citizenship – Well, to some extent, whats wrong in living with that dream. A girl is willing to leave her parents and may be even a job, cant she expect a better life style in a developed country. Dun you techie also yearn for getting to a foreign country? But again let me tell you, after living for few years outside India, many long to return back to their country and I dun need to detail the reasons why? Right?
3. Why are you giving this topic different debate? Tell that you do not have enough justification and you accept that techies use their position to demand big dowry. What a girl does comes after the DOWRY demand is placed. Is that what we should be discussing?
Further, you are justifying dowry demands on the basis of – Girl’s greed, Girl’s family greed, Girl willingness to go to abroad, then get divorce, then get the citizenship etc! I mean what kind of co-relation does that hold for demanding money from bride’s family?
Me and My family will look for a better guy irrespective of his being a Techie or Non-Techie. But again my emphasis on this post was why should techie demand dowry when -
1. He is getting an equally qualified girl
2. When he earns a good money and should not be expecting HUGE monetary benefits from the Girl’s Parents
3. When he should be discouraging other communities from taking/giving dowry.
4. When he should be rejecting those offers which are powered by money, jewels and other benefits!
Think again as to what I meant! Read again as to what I intend to say and then comment!
rips,
I really pity on you when you say only techies can give better life and amenities for a girl.
It is 100% greedy from girl’s parents and a long term agenda to fulfill.
1. Marrying a techie 90% end up in going to abroad.
or get married to an NRI easily a girl can land in foreign countries.
2. Based on their daughter getting a citizenship through a son-in-law helps the parents and girl’s siblings to get sponsorship by daughter to land in foreign countries easily.
3. Even if girl gets divorced they can easy extract huge money.
Why this concept of free lunch for girls exit in India?
Don’t you think there needs a change?
Most of the girls who get married to techies these are the reasons.
Also you mean non-techie men can’t provide a reasonable life for a girl?
Why not girl’s parents look for how good the guy is, instead
of amenities and how luxury a girl can lead the life?
why not girl and her parents change for better life then worrying about luxury?
A guy having reasonable job and who can take care of their daughter is import but not lottery dreams.
When girl and her family is not ready to change for good how will the system change?
Where should all non-techie guys go and get married?
You yourself agreeing and creating a demand for techie guys…when there is a high demand for something automatically you know what happens.
Virag
In all cases, girls or the girls’ family do not enjoy paying dowry, they are forced to. Now the time has changed and try asking the dowry from any educated working girl, you will get the right answer.
False claim on dowry is also a big crime and I agree many girls have taken the advantage of the law. But that’s a separate issue, how are you justifying dowry by saying many men are victim of false dowry claims! And further compared to dowry deaths, torture and other brutality faced by the girls relating the dowry, the false claims are much less.
If you have met enough number of men, I have also met enough number of women who were and are tortured for more money from their greedy, money-thirsty in laws.
And if you question me – Why the subject techies? Techies are considered to be highly qualified, exposed to the western culture where similar culture like dowry is not prevalent and techies earn more as well, so why should they need money from the girl’s side? But shamefully, many techies use their “job position” as a catalyst for asking more money!
And finally why girls marry techies? Every parent would like their girl to live in a good house and have good amenities. Its not the boy leaving his house for the girl and living with the girl’s parent (unless he wants to be Ghar Jamai), its the girl who leaves his parent house and lives with the boy and/or his family. So whats wrong in expecting a better living?
What you have done here is in order to justify a crime against you (if any), you have mixed other topics. Your topic on false dowry claims is a separate issue and may be Indian Government should do something about it, but what I have highlighted here is more important – Dowry is still existing in this society and shame on learned people who enjoy taking it!
Why did the girl pay the dowry to the man? Does not the girl know that dowry giving is also a crime and is equally punishable as taking?
The problem with the society is that it pampers girls and then makes men pay the price. Why are those girls not booked who forcefully give dowry or make a false claim of dowry giving and make away with the bounty?
There are enough number of men I have seen who were forcefully given dowry and later booked under dowry cases and those cases get reported in the media as dowry demanded.A
As far as techies are concerned, why do girls marry them if they are also not aspirant of a lavish and luxurious lifestyle?
I am a counselor of men’s issues and I get cases from Non Techie men that girls are refusing to marry them since they cannot provide them with lavish lifestyle like a techie. Why is this greed of girls not highlighted?
Why is a girl always viewed as a victim in a dowry case? Are all girls born in a Raja Harishchandra’s family?
I know of a techie girl who is working a reputed MNC and earns a good salary. She is from a middle class family whose parents are living in a village. She was marrried to a techie guy working in an indian firm. That guy earns less the lady and still was paid 1 million as dowry. So was the pressure for the lady that her savings were paid as a part of the dowry.
And that guy will now be paid dowry for the lifetime…huh…
“google search and you tube search using 498a keyword”
There is nothing like dowry, only dowry laws are there to harress husband and his relative.
if anyone is not aware of it. I curse/wish they should be soon get 498a’ed and see real(?) women empowerment.
I wonder, so called EDUCATED(?), why don’t we talk on Achiving “Family Harmony”
I don’t support Dowry(as it’s BAD by Law), but I look towards it as a TEST between two family, how they handle a FAMILY ISSUE of Exchange before/after marriage(a union of two family and NOT only two person)
just do google search and you tube search using 498a keyword, you will see reality
there is nothing like dowry, only dowry laws are there to harrash husband and his relative.
if anyone is not aware of it. I curse/wish they should be soon get 498a’ed and see real women empowerment.