Dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage. In India, it has been a tradition from pre-historic times. Maharajas (kings) use to give huge piece of land, jewels etc to their daughter before sending them to husband’s home. This continued and over the course of time every member of the society had to pay dowry during the marriage. In 1961, law was passed where dowry was prohibited but it still was practiced through-out India. Dowry was one of the reasons for female infanticide. People started saying it was due to lack of education, dowry and dowry deaths were happening, but we have horrifying facts below.
Check out the above facts & other shocking figures in the video below:
Education and Good jobs are used as one of the reason for demanding more dowry! And the dowry rates are huge if you are working in an MNC. Here are some of the details, which we collected from our sources:
And this is not the end. Even after the dowry is paid, there are constant demands. These demands are mixed with sentiments:
And sometimes it’s some XYZ excuse to get money from the girl’s family.
While we understand dowry demands from the rural people (illiteracy), but Techies? They are using their education and Job as an EXTRA qualification to ask for dowry, no, more dowry! While they boast of meeting international people, doing great jobs and getting big fat package, they continue to demand dowry in one way of the other. What if you not demand dowry directly, you parents might say we need this and that for the guests, we want marriage at this big place and whatever you give is for your daughter. These are just another way of asking MONEY. Some argue they have given money for their daughter’s marriage and now they want to compensate by demanding dowry for their son. What Bullshit!
I have a recent case of a girl working with us, who recounts her experience with these GROOM-Sellers:
This girl works in a software company and is 27 years old. She is from a middle class family and has one more sister and a brother. She says her father, a Government employee, has worked very hard to get her and her brother/sister the best of education. She is the topper in Masters of Computer Application Degree and earning a fairly decent salary. Her father has approached more than 100s of families and in most of the cases the talks end with demand for dowry. Some says RS. 1 million, some asks for Gold, Silver, Properties and some even setting up a house for them to live. And 95% of the families they have approached are from well to do background and son earning a good fat package with big software company. Her father is broke now; he regrets why he didn’t save for the dowry. SHAME!
But my question is WHY SHOULD HE GIVE DOWRY! Isn’t the girl educated as well. Hasn’t the girl’s father spent thousands (and out of reach money) to get her daughter educated! Then why should be pay dowry? And I m sure this will not be the end. After marriage as demands increases, the dowry demand will continue. As per reports, the people paying dowry continue to pay something or the other throughout the life. Its shame that education, position and status are used as an extra catalyst for demanding HUGE DOWRY!
And Mr. Techie you! Your parents might have old thinking, what about you? Can’t you say NO! Can’t you feel that this money is not your MONEY! Doesn’t your conscience SAY NO. And remember you techie, this money will never bring joy in your life, it has tears of the parents of the girl. It will just bring misfortune!
While reports says more than 25% CVs are fake and more than 70% of the techies are UNEMPLOYABLE, its shame that they use their DEGREES and APPOINTMENT LETTERS to increase their value in the MARRIAGE MARKET! I also blame the girl’s parents for paying Dowry! What if you can afford, you are supporting an ill-cause in the society. And if you cannot afford you go to the extent of taking LOAN and paying the dowry. As stated above 80% of the people asking for dowry keep their demands throughout the life and many leads to Dowry deaths. It’s better to keep daughters at home than to throw them in front of HUNGRY DEMONS, who will make your daughter’s life hell and ultimately you will hear about her unfortunate death. Dowry death people go unharmed due to lack of evidence or money power. So we cannot rely on the law to help eradicate this. Instead we should bring these GREEDY TECHIES in front of all. Companies hiring these techies should blacklist them from the industry so that this disease can be removed from the society.
Finally, we are the fastest growing economy in the world. Have faith in yourself. Do not demand or supply dowry! Bring out the culprits who are misusing their degrees and position for dowry so that we can expose them and create awareness. Remember if you support dowry, you are equally wrong! Girls, do not let your parents support such cause, remember you are equally worthy in the society and money cannot measure your worth.
Sonal
August 25th, 2008 at 9:49 am
This is fact of todays educated and employed secanario .In one respect our country is growing but in some respect still it is going back.I appreciate this article because it is the real stories of every girl wether they are highly educated and or not.we hope this article will open eyes of blind people who are so much fond of money(lalchi log).Actually some of my frnds working in big IT company and i heard they are talking i m getting 10 lacs on my marriage and some are saying i m getting 20 lacs wat rubbish is this!!!!!
Madhuvanthi
August 25th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Excellent, superb article for all the morons who demand dowry. I also know many people in north who demand dowry even today. However, I am a tamilian and here, they do not demand money directly, but they have similar demands of a DIAMOND SET. Imagine, how much it would cost and upon that the marriage should happen with great pomp and show. And guy’s demand — Girl must and should earn (COME WHAT MAY). The guy himself would be earning 1 lack per month. But still they need MORE money. Arrey if wife has to work, who will take care of family? Children? His dadi amma? A girl has to go through so many problems from her birth till death and the guys have no knowledge about the problems of a women…. Its really sad that how females are being treated even today in India. If this is one phase, there is another phase of girls also who have crossed all limits of society and dare to do ANYTHING. Ultimately even they are going to suffer one day. So its always Girls who suffer. A man can never understand what goes through a girl when she is being rejected for such petty things. She will loose her self confidence and the hope to live.
Guys, stop this shameful act and think sensibly.
Also, Rips (author), Nice Pic.. I would like to squeeze all the guys in a similar way who demand dowry or any such undue demands from girls…
Virag Dhulia
August 27th, 2008 at 10:42 am
This is a total bullshit article and reflects a bad state of mind. This article has no data to support it. Of course dowry as an evil is prevalent in India, but that is only in the mind of people. This article is a slap on all techies. Its actually the girls’ parents who want educated son – in – laws for their daughters so that they can sit on his fat income and spend the rest of their lives. There are so many men who are not getting a prospective match only because they do not have good education. So what is it that the greedy girls’ parents are looking for? Is money everything?
And there are umpteen number of cases where high earning techies have been implicated in false dowry cases and huge ransom has been demanded to spare the innocent groom and his family from a false and frivolous long legal battle. Read this link, which says 98 % of dowry related cases are false. I wonder whose life is in more danger in today world, man or woman?
And in the first place, dowry itself is a bogus word. What is the daughter’s share in the parental property is passed off as dowry. They don’t treat their own daughter equally in their own home and want to pass the whole burden on the husband’s family whereas in India, in 99% of cases, it is the husband’s family who has provided food, shelter and family to the woman.
Before writing such biased articles, did you ever bother to conduct a minimal research on dowry? I guess, no for if you would have, you would have surely landed to these websites,
http://www.savefamily.org
http://www.saveindianfamily.org
http://www.mynation.net
http://www.498a.org
http://www.ghrs.in
spelling out truth behind this miraculous facade called dowry and its related misuse terrorizing Indian married male’s life. Every year more than twice the number of married men are committing suicide than married women and still there are male – haters like you who always want to paint the men in bad light. Is marriage a crime for Indian men, that after marriage there are only responsibilities for men and rights for women. She automatically gets right to everything that the husband’s family has so far earned and then also accuse them of not taking care of her.
What sort of a double standard is this? And if the girls are so innocent and devout why do they always marry up? Why can’t they marry a man who is inferior to them? If a girl wants a luxurious life and hefty pay packets and US green card and blah blah blah, then its OK, same thing if a man wants it becomes a crime. It is feminists like you have ruined the society and contributed to female foeticide by creating hoax regarding dowry by passing all deaths of married women as dowry deaths, even if the woman dies crossing a road or is bitten by a snake!!!!
“While reports says more than 25% CVs are fake and more than 70% of the techies are UNEMPLOYABLE, its shame that they use their DEGREES and APPOINTMENT LETTERS to ”
Which report? Where is it published? Give the data source. Otherwise you can be sued for defamation.
“And Mr. Techie you! Your parents might have old thinking, what about you? Can’t you say NO! Can’t you feel that this money is not your MONEY! Doesn’t your conscience SAY NO. And remember you techie, this money will never bring joy in your life, it has tears of the parents of the girl. It will just bring misfortune!”
Why only the techie? Why not the greedy girl and her parents who are looking for a six figure salary dreaming big for their girls. Why can’t girls stop marrying techies if indeed techies are so demanding? Or is it the other way round, girls following high earning techies with hefty dowries to get married? Did you think from this point? I have instances where the girl’s family refused to marry the guy as he refused to accept dowry thinking there is something wrong with him. Who is more responsible then for propagating dowry?
“A techie doing well in an MNC got offer from another company. He took the letter the other company to come back to his present employer to ask for more raise. On receiving the raise, he went back to the new company again to get his package increased. Why all this? So that he can demand more dowries from the prospective bride family!”
Again bad interpretation and demeaning representation of techies. You are passing out your own sick mentality sitting at the shoulder of the techie?
Virag Dhulia
August 27th, 2008 at 10:43 am
http://www.csrindia.org/projects/research_Section%20498A.html
rips
August 27th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Virag
Thank you for your thoughts. What you have written is another side of the issue and not what we are trying to focus. We have ample number of cases where dowry demands are huge and from the well eductaED WELL PAID techies. Its not a slap on all techies, we said there are many techies who still demand.
Regarding 25% Fake CV, this report was published in leading newspaper and is as per survey report conducted by leading Survey Company in India. Further it was 80% and not 70% unemployable rate, but we were generous I guess.
Yes we agree DOWRY is also used as a weapon by Girl’s family, but that is a different topic and a story. Even I am a techie and have seen what dowry cases and false dowry cases have cropped in and around me and my contacts.
If you want to write an article on False Dowry cases and Dowry victim Men please do send us and we will review and feature on the website.
Thanks
Sonal
August 27th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Virag one thing if girls parent search educated boy it means that educated guy can take DOWRY? .and one thing every girl’s parents want educated boy for their girls.and even i know so much techies (so much stories ) about dowry…
and u know boys who are taking any high qualification their parents demanding so much money because their boy is taking high qualification and future he will become doctor,enginerer etc wat is this?I know many families like this…
And one thing now days boys family want to marry their with not a girl who is educated but with girl who will bring more CASH!!!
I know one gilrs who is working in some reputed company in pune earning 30000 per month but when her parent went to one family for his girls marriage they asked 10 lacs cash ….
are yaar this girl can give so may 10 lacs to boys family through out her life
and girls parents are not greedy because they don’t expect their girls money after her marriage and working girls give hers maoney only to in laws not hers parents UNDERSTAND!!!!
Preeti Trivedi
August 27th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Virag
thats what your thoughts are, it doesn’t mean that every of your thought is true.
you are realy far away from ground reality.
There are cases
Young housewife burnt alive for DOWRY.
i am not saying that every one but yes there are many peoples who still believe in dowry
According to them marriage is financial transaction.
“Woman ends life due to dowry harassment”
what are these cases about.
Bride burning and dowry deaths are still happening in high percentage.
actually this is bullshit
Shilpa Mittal
August 27th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Hi Virag,
It apperas that you have suffered from some false case and that has created a greater impact on your mind.well it’s somewhat true what you are saying ,nut not every thing is true.
that’s what prevelant in India.
I think it’s a shame on us that we are living in India and considering dowry as “bogus word”.
Don’t you watch television and all where daily comes the cases,that a girl is burnt ,injured …because she was not completing the demands for dowry,she is sent back her home to bring more things from her home.If she can’t complete those demands the guy marry sm other girl..is this good .??That only is the meaning of marriage?
Every parent want that their girl should be well settled with some educated guy,but excuse me ..they are not given the money for that….,infact the as the guy is educated so his mkt rate grows
Which parental property you are talkin about ,?everybdy in India is not Tata Birla that he is having large ancestrol money to give the share to daughters ,they are lots of poor families also who by chance have educated their daughter,but now as she is educated..it’s becomes more difficult to find the corect match for her,as educated guys demands much..
so India families think it’s better not to highly educate the daughters otherwise it will become difficult to marry them.In some cases it may not be the guy who demands ..but their families demands from girls family and they are told not to tell the guy.
I have seen some cases also,where guy shows I work at this this place,where he actually don’t …and demands a lot of money from girls’s side by emotionally blackmailing them..
Now about which burden you are talking about ..that a Husband has to bear..when the girl is educated ,working on the same package as the guy,then they both are equally sharing the responsibilities of the family..in such cases also do u think it’s burden on the guy’s family…her money is going on in boy’s family only ,not back to her family who have spent their monry to educate her.
yes u are correct the girl shouldn’t marry such greedy ppl .she shld in beginning herself take the step..but smtimes she is kept quiet by the society itself,that this is a rule..we have to do that..what I can we do etc etc…
And yes not every guy is same ,I have also heard of one guy who refused to marry ,if he is given any of the gift or money from girl’s side..So in today world we need only such type of guys and girls who could come forward from their side and stop this activity,it is not only the girl or any one guy who could actually stop this,it should be a combined effort.
rips
August 27th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Virag
I invited some girls I know who are the victim of dowry by techies to punch in their thoughts. If you want you can get someone from your end to replies to many issues raised by these girls. Again, please do not mix topics. I will work on FALSE DOWRY topic and get that on http://www.zorsebol.com soon
[Sentence corrected on advice of Rahul Verma, who wants perfect english before he could address any problem or comment]
Srinivas
August 27th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Whoa!!! Virag, you have made urself many girls as ur enemies man… hahaha.. Wel, I somehow agree to Virag’s point here that girls are no where less these days. He is talking about the girls who are bad in his comments, why are u girls making a fuzz out of it.
no girl is ready to marry a govt employee today. my own colleague rejected a guy coz he was a banquet manager. u know wat she said, she said it would be a shame for me to call my husband as banquet manager. are banquet managers not human? so girls, this is India, if there are bad boys, there are bad girls also.
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
The author is just a confused person spreading rumours about things that he/she does not understand.
I read only the opening lines and realised it:
“Dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage. In India, it has been a tradition from pre-historic times. Maharajas (kings) use to give huge piece of land, jewels etc to their daughter before sending them to husband’s home.”
Dear Author – first you make up your mind whether dowry is what the woman brings to her husband OR dowry is what the daughter gets.
I am hoping you shall realise the fine distinction.
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I read one comment from the author and realised that he/she is more than confused:
“I invited some girls I know who are the victim of dowry by techies to punch in their thoughts. If you want you can get someone from your end to replies to many issues raised by this girl”
First, he/she is saying SOME girls were invited. Then he says THIS girl meaning only one girl!
rips
August 27th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
So Rahul u r here to correct my Grammar/english. Thanks for that. I will correct it.
However can we address the underlying problem, which is Dowry by Techies. Have your say on that. Let me also tell you this site is about common indians expressing their thoughts. We are not here to make flowery phrases, which though looks good to read but never addresses the problem.
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Madhuvanti says “And guy’s demand — Girl must and should earn”. TRUE and the girls never want to work, they want to live off their husband’s salary. This is the attitude because of which India is not able to progress – bec 50% of the nation wants to be a housewife.
‘A girl has to go through so many problems from her birth till death and the guys have no knowledge about the problems of a women’ – Women never mention the actuam problem because they just want to keep the world puzzled and always make vague statements like – ‘you do not understand our problems’ rather than stating what their problems are.
I think there are no problems. Guys are the ones who suffer in India. They are the ones who have to earn. They are the ones who have to work. They are the ones who face torture at the hands of women. They pay more taxes. Women get free education. Women have all the laws in their favour – so much so that married women can legally sleep with multiple men. And here we have Madhucanti talking about the problems of women!
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Dear Rips,
Dowry by techies? If you really think that exists, then it is just that these females have managed to fool the world for so long that people have started to believe their lies as truth.
I am not sure how much of study have you done in this area – but would you be able to differentiate between Dowry/ Gifts/ streedhan?
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Dear Shilpa,
Dowry is a bogus word.
About the TV and media, they always portray women as a weaker section of the society. And women who have self-respect are not ready to accept that. (I am not talking about the majority who are happy to be put in the same category as SC/ ST/ OBC if they can get some extra benefits).
Talking about weaker section, do you know that world over they live longer than men? as much as 5 yrs longer – so who is weaker?
Now thinking beyond the gender arguements, and thinking about where did this word dowry come from. It came from the greedy parents and brothers of the girl itself. They do not want to give their daughters a fair share in the ancestoral property, hence they said ‘this is dowry’.
The question of any monetary exchange in a marriage does not arise if the guy and the girl are of equal status. The problem arises when parents of handicapped girls want them to get married to techies earning 1 lac per month, and hence give money in order to compensate for their daughter’s limitations.
Mithun
August 27th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Ha Ha… Taking media as a proof of your fantasies?
That’s biggest joke… Its afterall the media who’s spreading all the lies with obvious funding from the so-called women’s organisation….
Someone start funding me a few crores of Dollars every year, and you’ll see how media writes everything that I say, and in a couple of years there will be similar articles as this, quoting media reports as evidence!
Neither in the article, nor the comments give any concrete source of the statistics picked from…
Divya
August 27th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
So all the world, media, people are wrong and Mr. Mithun and some of your friends are right?
What proof do you have that girl’s greedy family are making DOWRY as their source of income. I find the artcile perfect. Try to understand the logic of the article:
Dowry is still prevalent. We thought illiteracy was the reason. But when learned people like techies earning so much demands money, its nothing less than shame!
Rips is right, not all, but many techies, who comes with the same narrow thinking background, still continues to demand GIFTS. Gifts should not be demanded by friends, so thats why those are dowry!
Virag Dhulia
August 27th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
@Preeti, @Shilpa, @rips,
Yes it is a fact that I have been hit by a false dowry case by my wife because I refused to separate from my parents as per her and her parents demand and I was threatened to cough out 12 lacs in the police station for not filing the case and not only there are thousands like me who suffer from a false dowry case and suffer huge losses.
But that does not mean I am anti women or pro – dowry. Yes of course dowry for me is a bogus word.
“It apperas that you have suffered from some false case and that has created a greater impact on your mind.well it’s somewhat true what you are saying ,nut not every thing is true.
I think it’s a shame on us that we are living in India and considering dowry as “bogus wordâ€.
Don’t you watch television and all where daily comes the cases,that a girl is burnt ,injured …because she was not completing the demands for dowry,she is sent back her home to bring more things from her home.If she can’t complete those demands the guy marry sm other girl..is this good .??That only is the meaning of marriage?”
Well Shilpa, television and media is highly influenced by political factors to portray women as victims so that people never get to know the other side of the story. If your idea of dowry has been developed from television which is anyways called an “Idiot Box” then I don’t think I should be arguing with you at all.
Just for example take my case, I was arrested and when I was inside a totally false and concocted article about me was printed in the Times of India who neither bothered to verify facts nor take my side of the story. Now any third person like you who reads it will always think bad about me. Shilpa will always think Virag harassed his wife for dowry whereas only I know it is not a truth. This is not written for any sort of sympathy. I am just quoting an example how false are media reports and how badly influenced is the Television.
So that cannot be a benchmark.
The problem that I have with rips is that he/ she has held only husband techies responsible for the dowry menace. Why? Are not the girls parents responsible for it? Do they not force to accept expensive gifts? Anywhere a dowry exchange (if that is the word you people understand. to me its bogus) then both are responsible. Is it not the wish of the girl to get a rich husband? Is that not greed? Then supposingly there is a dowry demand. what’s wrong, the girl is also not a devout human? She too is materialistic. She too wants to enjoy life at her husband’s expense. Then how come the ‘techie’ badly attacked here is solely responsible and why should he alone bear the brunt of the fallacy?
Feminists have created so much -ve euphoria about the word dowry (thanks to the unfortunate power lobby they enjoy) that people forget the daughter’s right in ancestral property.
Till date tell me one instance where a son got separated from his parents before marriage.
To all here again, if media is your source to believe that dowry demand is prevalent in India, then it is high time you change your views as media is not at all reliable. They rarely print truth, they print what creates sensation.
Any other source, let me know.
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Dear Divya,
Not all the world and media is wrong. People like yourselves read only what they want to read.
Have you gone through the list of evidences that have been posted in this forum? (Eg the NCRB data, eg the CISR report, etc etc)
One more reason for people to believe that women are tortured is: when their fathers tortured their mothers, hence they grow up thinking women are tortured. So one man being bad (one’s own father) does not mean the whole male community is bad.
Dowry does not exist. It is a bad thing and I am glad it is absent.
Women should have more self-respect, get educated, get financially-indepdent so that they have a life beyond being at the mercy of their husbands in case the husband isn’t a nice guy
rips
August 27th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Virag
We are sorry to hear your case and yes thats a serious issue as well. I know as a matter of fact that one family in delhi did the same with her husband. Thats all recorded and fine, but why are you mixing two things here:
1. Dowry still prevails and I guess you have acknowledged it
2. Many use to say that dowry is in the society due to illiteracy, and that’s what I wanted to project – that even getting such good education and money, people refrain from taking dowry, gifts whatever u call
Having opened our eyes with regard to dowry cases, I will do my research and ofcourse write about those girls/women and parents who have misused the LAW and have held people like you into problems. I will get back to you when I have a draft of that topic, will ask for your inputs as well.
Thanks
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Dear Rips,
Dowry is a bogus word.
If people said dowry existed because of illiteracy, then it is the illiteracy of the girls and not the boys.
So, people should educate their daughters first before dreaming of MNC techies as their son-in-laws so that they can enjoy the luxuries of his salaries.
And about the one case in Delhi. Well, do you know that in the last 4 years more than 114,000 women have been arrested in false dowry cases.
rips
August 27th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Rahul
I have no idea about 114,000 cases of false dowry cases and I did not do research on that as that was outside the scope of the topic. So shall we conclude that dowry by techies or anyone is justified because the girls are misusing the Law, the girls are greedy, the parents of the girls are asking for money. If those are the issues, we need to address them separately. But we cannot justify dowry by techies with those stats, can we?
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Dear Rips,
Dowry does not exist.
If you insist that monetary exchange happens at the time of marriage, then it happens because girls want to get guys ‘better’ than them.
Tell me,who do orinary housewives expect to marry techies who earn 1 lac rupees per month through arranged marriage? Arranged marriage is a marriage market where marriage is viewed as a transaction.
Actually, if we go back into history, marriage started bec of economic necessity rather than a necessity for sex (which is the main reason today).
So marriage is a transaction, the guy brings 1 lac per month, what does the girl bring? So the guy expects the girl also to work, but as the first comment in this thread, girls of India do not want to work.
If the girl is also qualified, then the question of any monetary exchange does not arise – that is what I call education, where girls are educated and earning, and not turning to be just a burden on the husband financially.
Female foeticide in India happens because of the lies that uninformed people like you spread about dowry.
rips
August 27th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Rahul, where are u coming from? Dowry do exists! Do you want me to invite the whole india to this blog to justify that?
And do you think being housewife is easy job. Try for 1 month and your 1 lac per month job will be 100 times less stressful than managing house and children!
On this lines:
“So marriage is a transaction, the guy brings 1 lac per month, what does the girl bring? ”
Will you go and stay with girl’s family if the girl is earning more? Will it be easy for you to leave your parents and serve the parents of the girls? Probably you would as you want to count everything in terms of MONEY! A girl’s family, who takes care of the girl for 18-25 years and have to part with her, no money, no gifts can replace the emotions that is involved when a father has to part with his daughter, when a mother’s best friend has to say good bye to them and go to a new environment!
“If a girl is equally qualified…”
Is salary the measure for a girl being highly qualified and not qualified? Perhaps a girl is more qualified on the fact that even after working at office, she comes, prepares the food and ensures family eat the food before she can rest.
I do not want to sound bad with whatever thoughts you have put Rahul, but there seems no logic. Can we address the dowry issue, can we address why dowry is still needed by the HIGHLY Qualified Techies? We can look into the other side of the story of False Dowry in other topic. By giving all the above reasoning you are justifying DOWRY or GIFTS!
PS correct my Grammar please
Thanks
Krishna Tripathi
August 27th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Thanks virag… ‘Dowry’ is essentially a bogus word. Typical Indian scenario is that the husband earns and the wife do not earn. Dont talk only of metropolitons. in other cities the wife sits home and the husband provides her with everything.. food, shelter, name, fame.. anything.
now to set up a house (or a home) both should contribute equally. why only the husband should take the financial responsibility? the wife, even after one day of marriage gets equal share in husband’s property. whats wrong if the girl’s father provides some support for the setup of a new home? And infact this is legal because the girl has legal share in parental property. tell me dear all girls here how many of u did get share in parental property? i hope none. now some girl argued that boys’ parents said that we have spent on the education etc. in Indian set up however educated a girl may be it is never the responsibility of the girl to run the household. the law puts all the burden on the man. the woman lives in the house provided by the man and his family.
and by the way there are so many unemployed but educated boys. why cant the girl own up and take the responsibility of the house and marry the guy? why do u think that techies demand more? only because their demand is more. it is up to u girls. u can bring down the demand of the techies by not going to their house for marriage. u can pick any graduate student who is struggling for a job, take the share of ur parental property, take ur salary and leave the techie. why the hell do ur fathers wag tails in front of the techies? only u have increased their demands. and u ask virag if he is tortured by his wife… yes he is…and so am i and many others… and i have no shame in saying that because there are millinons like us. and u say that the bride will give her earnings to in-laws… THERE CAN BE NOTHING AS RUBBISH AS THIS… no bride can ever do this… they even quarell with their husbands if he gives some share to his mother… basic question is HOW MANY FATHERS GIVE THE GIRL THEIR LEGAL SHARE IN THEIR PROPERTY??? reply sonal and others… did u get a share in parental property?? NO… and u will not say that ur fathers are a big cheaters!!! they consider their daughters a burden… WELL SAID VIRAG… KRISHNA
Krishna Tripathi
August 27th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Rips..
Please provide link to the article where techies demand dowry. Today there are very few ppl who demand anything. guys only demand good girls and that too they dont get. And Ribs how can u say a girls serves the in-laws?? IT IS BOGUS CLAIM. NO GIRL SERVES IN LAWS. and u ask whether we will live with the parents of the girl if she is rich and earning?? lacs of young unemployed ppl are there who will do so… and Ribs i tell u.. if u refuse to accept dowry, as i did, u will at once be viewed with suspision.. i know a wife quarells with husband as to why he did not ask for AC from her father if he cannot afford it on his own??? take it from me GIRLS THEMSELVES WANT THAT THEIR FATHER GIVE HUGE MONEY TO THEM.. and what do u think Ribs?? Father of the girls is also a guy… is all guys demand dowry then he too demanded it.. whats the problem if he has to repay it to his daughter??? this is a round world Ribs… both families have girls and guys both… so a person becomes harishchandra if he is the father of a girl.. and becomes a Ravan if he is the father of a guy… if he has a son and a daughter then he is simultaneously Ravan and Haarishchandra… what a paradox ribs… only u can solve it… confused person..
rips
August 27th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
I do not know where is the story heading now. Dowry by techies is a bitter truth but probably male readers fail to acknowledge or help us remove that sin from the society!
Krishna, firstly u have addressed me as Ribs, its Rips. Thanks for addressing me properly next time.
Regarding your claim to show you the article, I do not have article handy that says techies demanded dowry, but we have real-life instances of people around me who dowry-demand-victims. And there has been reports in the media as well (oops i forgot, you do not rely on media).
Again, I do not need to justify with concentrate proof to you. I will make sure that this blogs goes public and let the people decide if at all I offended anyone by enlighten the harsh truth.
Similar to my allegations, Virag, Rahul and now you have also addressed many cases without any concentrate proof. Virag has given me list of quite a number of web sites that details False Dowry claims etc, but what about 100s of web sites that cry over dowry harassment and dowry claims by the rich and the well-qualified people? Aren’t those enough to justify my article? Why do you want to hear the names of those people here? I have not written this article to create problems for them. And if at all I need to, I will do in the near future so that people like them think twice before asking for any dowry, or gifts.
Regarding False Dowry or Misuse of this law, let me soon write an article on that. I m sure you all would love to add 100s of thoughts there!
Sonal
August 27th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
@VIRAG @KRISHNA
I have so many live stories and proof to show still guys working in Big company wants cash.
I m also working in a reputed software company earning very good amount .My father is searching a guy who is also educated.but still he is facing problem of demanding money from boys family.
And RAHUL u told guy bring 1 lacs per month .now days girls are also bringing more than 1 lacs per month .
Actually this is not matter of boys and girls the whole stories is why so much educated people working in big companies visited Foreign seeing their culture but still wants money not from their family but from girls family .
Because this is the direct source to get money once a time.CORRECT?
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Dear Sonal,
Educated people – working in MNCs and techies are logical people.
I do not understand a situation where if you are earning, then why is any guy asking for money along with you.
The logic for money involved was as mentioned in my earlier comments – that after marriage the guy and the girl become equals in everything that they own, so they should also bring to the table equal things – in order to get into the marital alliance.
And Rips – I am not surprised that you do not understand where this story is going, because you thought you will portray a sorry picture about Indian women and we all will agree. That was the only scenario where this story will go in your desired direction.
While – that is not true.
Dowry does not exist. You have still not been able to tell me the difference between dowry / gift/ streedhan! So if these terms mean the same to you, then accept that dowry does not exist, we can discuss the other two.
As far as guys demanding money are concerned, they are bad people, and I wonder why any good girl would want to get married to such a guy. Now – are you telling me that all guys are bad?
As far as telling real-life examples is concerned, I can also tell several examples – that does not really matter. I have posted some data at national level – statistics. That has more number of examples that you or I would personally witness
Madhuvanthi
August 27th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Hello Mr Virag Dhulia & Rahul Verma and all those typical Indian male chauvinists!!!
I dont know from where the author has bought the news from but I agree 100% with the author that even today I have seen IT guys asking dowry. I have many evidences but the fact is no one would like to come in public because then, U males would not let them live in peace. This article should indeed be BIG slap on all those techies who demand it. And yes, I do agree to the fact some techies are indeed innocent but then, who is talking about them? Its all about those who demand it MAN!!! Read the article twice again.
And also, if you read my comment I have clearly stated that even girls today are no less, but here the topic is something else. So why to argue about the men who are innocent and girls who are bad, speak aloud and if possible try doing something about the men who are wrong.
And yes, these days girls and their parents wish for a educated and wealthly son in law, Wont u wish ur daughter should be leading a happy life? and whats wrong in wishing to have a wealthy life? Wont that wife serve you and ur family till her last breath? Girls parents just WISH that their son in law should be wealthy. But men they DEMAND it. I hope u know the difference between WISH & DEMAND!!!
Virag’s sentence “What is the daughter’s share in the parental property is passed off as dowry.” is so cheap. Arrey if parents have so much money & property, why would they strive to give dowry. They can give it easily and get off with these money beggers.
And for you Rahul, Yes, we girls would like to be house wives. Do you have any idea how much work a housewife has? More than an employed male. If you are not satisfied, apni maa aur behan se poochna. Just try to be a house husband for one month aur jab tumhari PHATEGI na, tab pata chalega what girls go through. And you want to know
the problems of a woman, Ok Listen: Have u heard of periods? Pregnancy? Hysteria? menopause? Gang Rapes? Ever heard of a women gang raping a man?…. And what men want? only SEX 24hrs.
Dont you dare to say that women go to multiple men. Its a man who is never satisfied with one woman.
And ur recent sentence: “So marriage is a transaction, the guy brings 1 lac per month, what does the girl bring?” OK, so if suppose you are being paid 2 lacs per month, will you agree to serve a girl and her family? Rips has correctly ripped you off with his / her comments. Great work rips.
Before writing about the girls and their family, did you do a research on how many dowry cases are still pending in Indian Courts. If not, please go and check out. Many males have always wanted a reason to say that marriage is bad. If marriage is bad for men, It is equally bad and worse for a woman. She leaves her parents, siblings friends in the hope that she will be kept happy in the so called new home, but no, U make her life HELL…
Also, ur recent comment Virag, that you have been a victim of false dowry. Can you give me the date of the times of India paper where ur case was printed or any site where it is mentioned (I have seen u mentioning them in blogs, I want to see the one that media has mentioned).
and RAHUL, for ur sentence “I wonder why any good girl would want to get married to such a guy.”, Wel, all male think the same way as you think that there is no difference b/w dowry and gift. So where are the good men? We are left with no choice but to agree for men like u who are so inconsiderate… U want to know the difference, I will tell u the difference. Gift is given from heart to a person willingly, dowry is snatched from a father who would have earned it by letting go his sleeps and food.
Your attitude towards a woman is clearly seen by ur comments. GROW UP AND TRY TO RESPECT A WOMAN. I am again making u remember. We are not discussing here about the men who are good or fight for men & women rights. Try to make the men who are bad understand that what they are doing in bad.
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Dear Madhuvanthi,
1. You agree that you want to be a housewife, so accroding to many men – you just want to relax at home and make the man earn while it should be your joint responsibility.
About how much work a housewife does, well child-care does not last 5 years while I hope marriages last that long. Apart from that, there is a washing machine, there is a dishwasher etc etc. So I do not think taking care of a house is a full time job – and when we men are going to share the household responsibility – in cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning stuff.
2. Coming to your problems.
a. if you are complaining about periods – then are u saying only bec u have periods, should you be given a special place in the society? just for ur information mensural cycles improve the phsyical health
b. menopause – well men also have andropause
c. about gang rapes – well most rapes happen bec both the parties are at fault. women provoke men. eg mike tyson’s case. he met a girl at a disco, they danced together, kissing etc in the disco, then they came back to his apartment, long drawn foreplay and just before intercourse, the girl said no and tyson could not control. tyson was wrong but do u think that the girl was right?
girls enjoy foreplay also but guys do all that just for the main act, hence its natural for a guy to expect pleasure in return of all the peripheral foreplay.
3. of course women are more bigamous by nature, if you would believe i can forward you a study done by UK medical society.
4. Also, recently there was a study (last week) that said people with multiple sex partners live longer, and we all know that women live longer than men
5. About your comment “if suppose you are being paid 2 lacs per month, will you agree to serve a girl and her family?” – i am not for sale, its only girls like u in the market who get traded for the guy who earns the max. i will not serve anyone for 2 lacs per month or 20 lacs per month irrespective.
The point is if you earn 25k per month then be satisfied with a guy who earns 25k per month too. Do not dream of a guy who earns 1 lac per month.
6. finally when ever someone says ‘respect a woman’, i realise that they have nothing else to be respected in them, hence they say respect me bec i am a female, what non-sense
Madhuvanthi
August 27th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Again you have changed the topic here. PLEASE STOP COMPARING a MAN & WOMAN. They cannot be compared. Both have their own positive & negative points. We can discuss that leisurely when we have another article about that on this site…
Discuss about DOWRY. You want to say that there is no dowry happening in INDIA? What about the plight of my friend’s parents who are still searching day and night for a guy (never mind if its a graduate guy, MIND U, NO TECHIE HERE) for their daughters. But they are not getting. If that guy is not a techie, they demand more saying they cant afford it, this is a chance to get the dreams fulfilled…
Madhuvanthi
August 27th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
And also, you have clearly agreed that even if you are paid 20 lacks, you are not for sale. But Mr. Rahul, women are being sold today also.. This is the topic that we are discussing..
Agree to the fact that even if it is 20%, there is dowry problems and try to find a solution to eradicate it rather than fighting for the rights of MAN & WOMAN…
Pinky
August 27th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Read this
HYDERABAD: A non-resident Indian (NRI) techie’s parents were arrested for allegedly harassing their daughter-in-law for additional dowry in Begumpet on Sunday.
Read full story below
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Cities/NRI_techies_family_held_in_dowry_case/rssarticleshow/3051920.cms
This
Pinky
August 27th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
And also this:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/931940.cms
So there are 2 sides to this topic. Rips and Virag both have valid points!
Madhuvanthi
August 27th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Wel done Pinky!!! Now Say VIRAG, RAHUL, KRISHNA, XYZZZZ, What do u have to say about it..
I am still waiting for a response from VIRAG regarding his own incident of false dowry.
The ratio is 10:1. For 10 females getting harassed coz of dowry there is one from false dowry… This is what the author wants to put on in his / her thoughts…
Now again please stop fighting, and together as true citizens of INDIA lets find some solution for this…
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Dear Pinky,
“HYDERABAD: A non-resident Indian (NRI) techie’s parents were arrested for ALLEGEDLY harassing their daughter-in-law for additional dowry in Begumpet on Sunday.”
It is just allegedly by that girl, nothing is proven yet, and nothing will ever be proven. There is CISR data that 98% of the cases are false.
So it is not 10:1 in favour of girls, it is 49:1 in favour of men.
And if our friend Madhuvanthi has finished cheering others with comments like ‘well done pinky’, ‘good job rips’ – she can answer to my point-wise email
Madhuvanthi
August 27th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Your real name is Rahul Verma or Rahul Aggarwal?
Madhuvanthi
August 27th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
What happened? Surprised?
Anyways, answering ur points, I have better work to do rather than fighting with a man who is no where ready to accept the facts.
So, Mr. Rahul Bye!!! You keep fighting women are this and that. Remember ultimately, u need to marry a woman only..
I appreciate your sense of portraying ur views. Its really good. Try using it in eradicating some of the burning issues of INDIA, like dowry, dirty politics etc…
Pinky
August 27th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Bandhan saat janmo ka on Colors Channel is about dowry. But there its the boy’s parent not the boy who demands dowry. In many cases its parents and the boy has to bow to their request. So i would say rips should write Tech qualification is used by Boy’s parent to demand dowry.
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Dear Madhuvanthi,
It is not a smart question.
If I was hiding my real name till now, then what makes you think I will tell you now?
Anyways, you have been exceptionally nice and extremely polite to me all this while, hence I shall re-confirm that my real name is Rahul Verma only
Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
No dear Madhuvanthi, I am not surprised that you want to leave. I knew that people leave when they lose arguements.
Yes Sure, I will marry a woman only. You think all men are bad, I do not think all women are bad.
I will invite you to my marriage. Please come and give ur blessings to the newly wed couple.
Ananth
August 28th, 2008 at 1:39 am
Interesting Debate Happening.
Let me first tell you that I do not care about what you all women out there will think of me.
Talking about Dowry, I will take dowry for sure and following is my calculation.
I am 28, living in USA, earning approx 5,200 USD a month after taxes.
Assuming I get married at the age of 30, I would earn for 30 more years, a total of 5,200 * 12 * 30 = 1.8 Million USD.
After marriage, I will get sex but my wife will also get sex, so no discount for that. My woman might argue that they are doing it just for me, though it is not true, since I am a nice guy, I will give you the benefit of doubt. Good sex here costs 100 USD per shot. Counting twice a week, that amounts to 8 times a month * 12 * 30 * 100 = 288,000 USD. (That is a lot of money I will be paying for sex, but then I am a nice guy so I will give you that discount).
As someone mentioned, she will look after children. So 2 children, 5 years each, means 10 years. A good creche in my area costs 700 USD a month, so that is 84,000 USD.
She will cook, clean the house, do grocery shopping etc etc – max 2 hours a day job for the next 30 years, equates to 700 hours per year * 30 years * 20 USD = 420,000 USD.
For mathematically advanced readers, if you think why am I not taking the present value of my future cash flows, let me clarify that I am also not taking into account the increase in my salary with time. (Assuming a 5% annual increase in salary and 5% expected rate of return, the impact is neutral).
So, that means her services in total are worth 792,000 USD by any stretch of imagination. (The expenses are common – I might eat more than she does, but she might have more trips to India than I do, so it neutralizes).
All in all, I earn 1.8 Million USD and she is worth 792,000 USD. Hence the balance should come to me as dowry, i.e. 1,800,000 – 792,000 = 1,080,000 USD = Approx 4 Crore INR. And that is the going rate of a well settled techie in USA for an Indian housewife.
Why on earth should I enter into a losing transaction otherwise? After marriage, she instantly gets a right to everything that I earn, and what do I get in return? I have to bear her financial burden for the rest of my life, hence I am justified in expecting a compensation.
For those of you out there who earn, you can use the same logic, we can see the salary difference and then multiply it by the number of years remaining.
Some woman will definitely come and say what if she earns more than me, then will I pay her dowry? Well, the answer is NO, because then I will not marry her. I will find someone who is within my reach. Similarly what Mr Rahul said was correct, if you earn 25,000 a month, then look for someone in that salary range and not someone who earns 2 lacs a month.
Reading the posts of Mr. Virag, my views about taking dowry have become even more strong. If I have dowry money, then I can finance my long-drawn legal battles with her money. It is becoming fairly common to accuse husbands for dowry torture these days.
I am a nice guy, I will not torture for dowry. My funda are very clear. I am not a social worker. I have studied hard and reached a good place in life. If a girl has to become an equal partner in life, she should bring the same amount of assets to the table.
Too long a post, but I will be sleeping when you guys read this in India and I do not know whether I shall be able to reply again, hence penned down pretty much of what I had to say.
All those guys who are not planning to take dowry are fools. They are short-selling themselves. As pointed out, arranged marriages are a market, get the best deal. Any beautiful body is not worth 1.8 Million USD.
Good luck!
katrina
August 28th, 2008 at 3:36 am
all i have to say is that anybody who accepts dowry is heading for a downfall. the basic fundamentals of a marriage are not financially based. people need to determine what they want from marriage and if u men just want finances then why not just work harder ir get a second job rather than buy a womans life…u have no right. men who accept dowry are capable of selling even their own mothers….. anybody still doing this is in my opinion worthy of nothing more than hanging!
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Virag and Rahul
See Ananth’s reply? So whats your say on that?
Krishna
August 28th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Following points need attention:
1. The author claims that all techies (or most of them) and their family demand huge dowry from the prospective bride and her father and relatives. The author relies mainly on the media claims and “belief†of his inner self that dowry system is prevalent in India. He fails to cite any reference for his statistical claims. In this sense this article is not at all scholarly. Good articles provide references for all statistical claims. Regarding our claims of misuse of dowry laws, there are a number of references e.g. see the national crime beaurau data which speaks volumes of misuse (if u cant find it, ask me at kctripathi2417@rediffmail.com). The World Health Organization has clearly said that dowry laws are the main reason for the sufferings of elder in India (type “elder abuse dowry laws WHO India†in google) Again the author says there are a number of websites who publish articles about dowry menace. Again we say they don’t have any references about the claims they make. Most claims are made on the number of police complaints. But how many cases are genuine and how many are fraudulent, can’t be made out on the basis of number of complaints. We, at Save Indian Family Foundation devote a couple of hours daily from our schedule only to the analysis of dowry and other related laws. Visit our website and get your records clear (with each claim properly referenced). We strongly ask all not to create panic in the society by projecting your inner voice without sufficient corroborative evidence. Even if you rely on media reports, can u give the link where and in which newspaper is it published that most techies demand dowry? No doubt there are stories in media where brides accuse in laws of dowry harassment. But have you tried to find the truth about any such article? Have you followed the case to the courts? Do you know what is the difference between section 498a ipc and anti dowry law? If you don’t know this basic difference you are a novice in this field and you are not competent enough even to speak about dowry (for all the ladies here who are posting comments based only on their inner voice).
2. The author says that 25% (I don’t recall the number here) make false claims about salary and education etc. Even if we agree that there may have been some study regarding this, then that study must also have analysed the false claims made by the girls. Why this is not reported here? E.g. there are many bogus claims made regarding education, height, complexion and most of them add the adjective “homely†though the girl do not even know the meaning of what “homely†means. Is this not true Mr. Author?
3. That the author talks specifically of techies is simply the creation of his mind. If dowry is prevalent then it prevails in all segments and talking specifically about techies only shows that the author only desires cheap publicity because it is the techies who would be reading this article on the net and the word “techies†is prevalent in the society. There is no other scientific reason for specifically implicating techies in this. This word is used solely for the purpose of marketing.
4. The author, remarking to one of our comments, says that the problem of misuse of dowry law is a different argument. Nothing can be as childish as this statement. How are they different? They are strongly related. Authors like you, to gain cheap publicity among women, publish such unscholarly articles without references, thereby increasing the number of articles claiming dowry as a prevalent evil. Your article will inspire several others to write their inner feelings (as you are inspired by media). This will create more panic in the society and more stringent dowry laws will be passed allowing more misuse. So this is related and cannot be postponed to another article. Say whatever you have to say, here only.
5. This article is a direct insult to our mothers and sisters. You, in a most undignified manner, claim that techies and their family members (including women) are hungry for money. You will never understand the feeling of a mother who is falsely implicated by her daughter-in-law only because her son refused to surrender to the demands of the daughter-in-law to live separately. That mother will be projected as a devil and people like you, preeti, sonal etc will tease her as a jail-returned. Oh boy!! Please stop this evil. Nobody will listen to the old lady because you all will listen to the young beautiful lady only. You will applaud her efforts for speaking out against the devil mother-in-law. Bur remember Mr. Author, no matter what people like you say, no matter how many days we spend in jail, no matter how strong laws you make, we shall stand by our mothers who are above all the laws and articles. The sister of the techie becomes a Suparnakha and the same lady when goes to another techie becomes a Sita!! Again the paradox that I talked of.
6. In the last four years more than one lac women have been arrested in the dowry laws (see the national crime beaurea website). This is 4 times the total number of women arrested during the four hundred years of British rule. And all these arrests have a story told by the media- that of torture for dowry. Authors like you read these stories and open your full mouth for the protection of women, no sorry, protection of young women only. How many authors like you come out and speak for the cause of old ladies rotting in jails without any crime of theirs? Apart from SIFF, none even acknowledge their pain leave alone speaking for the same.
7. If you have so much problems with the techies don’t go to them. Go for clerks in govt. Job. They are also educated and mind you their job is no less demanding than that of techies. But you will not go. Because then you will not fly in the air and live in posh localities. If you say techies demand, bring down their demands, it is as simple as that.
8. The author says that some men have problems with the article. Think! Is this comment justified in a democracy? Shouldn’t men have problems when they are projected as women beaters and dowry hungry when in fact they are not? And further, do you think only men have problems with this article and others like this? You yourself have written that parents of the husband demand dowry i.e. mothers inclusive. Hadn’t they objected if they had the computer knowledge? The reality is the dowry laws have done more harm to women than good. All who talk in favour of women actually talk only in favour of wives. These girls here, Sonal et al, they only think from the point of view of a wife. Remember girls you are sisters also. You are as prone to be sent to jail for dowry demand as your brother if his relations with his wife goes sour for any of the 1001 reasons. The most prominent one is the one in which the wife will demand from your brother to abandon your parents. If your brother loves your parents, as we do, he and you may be sent to jail no matter how innocent you are. Then you will realise the ill-effects of this hue and cry over the word “dowryâ€. You all are prone to be implicated in a false dowry charge if you have a distant relative who has recently married. Further, after 20 yrs when you will be old, you will definitely go to jail according to current trends (type “498a misuse ipc†in google). So think before you open your mouth.
9. Finally, accept it or not, arranged marriage is, and will continue to be, an open market for both sides. If the guy has qualities, he will be demanded. If the girl has qualities she will be demanded. If a guy receives 100 proposals, definitely he will chose the best. The other girls will only curse their fate. Even if dowry is not at all the cause for rejection, the father of the girl invariably says “their demand is very highâ€. No one says “they got a better girl, more educated, more beautifulâ€. Same with the girls. If there are 100 guys wanting to marry her, her demand will be more. Everything goes fine, the dowry, the luxury, the honeymoon, so long as the relations are sweet. All the tortures come to the fore only when the girl discovers that in-laws will be there- always.
10. Mr. author, if you are old, having a daughter, have you written something in her name? And if you are a young man, how much did your parents demand from your bride? Oh! felt offended? Then why, without any basis, you blame our parents?
Krishna
Madhuvanthi
August 28th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Did you (rahul & virag) read the comments from Ananth. He is a typical B*****. I am sorry Ananth, but I cannot stop myself from saying that. What is women for u? A sex & money machine? No wonder these days girls have crossed all their limits. Men like u deserve such ditching and harassment from them. Do u think ur father might have thought in the same lines before having sex with ur mother like u think? I really pity ur parents & ur future wife. They have given birth to a male who is so cheap in his thinking. your study and ur dollars are 0 when compared to ur thinking which is so SHIT!! and ur wife, GOD alone should save her!!!
And Oye Rahul,
I am not leaving this argument coz I am loosing it. I can carry on but whats the use. I am really surprised to see so many men who are against women and emotions. I am really sad to note this.. And yes, I take back my words wherein I said all men are same. Sorry about that. Even I agree all men are not like that. Atleast my father, my brothers & my friends are the most wonderful men I have ever met in my life. And I hope the same from my future husband. and please do cal me to ur marriage. I will definitely attend and wish you. After reading Ananth’s comments, I can say U and Virag are better yaar. usne toh had kar di hai ek aurat ko badnaam karne main.
If this is what men think of marriage and wife, I must say girls are happy without marriage..
Now say Rahul, do u atleast now agree bad men like Ananth also exist on this earth? I mean he has clearly and openly commented that he will demand dowry for such idiotic reasons. Dont u think we girls were right in our views atleast at some point?
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Dear Rips,
I read Anath’s reply. That is what I have been trying to tell you since yesterday: Monetary exchange happens because girls are not as educated and earning as boys.
Can you visualise a girls parents paying money if the girl earns 25K and the boy earning 20K?
Madhuvanthi
August 28th, 2008 at 11:54 am
But why should they pay money Rahul? Just because he is earning more? Are wives just for that? I mean what is marriage then? Just a monetary exchange and license to have free S**. I mean what?
Ananth
August 28th, 2008 at 11:58 am
@Madhuvanthi
If you say girls are better off without marriage. Then how will you sit at home and enjoy luxuries free of cost? Girls like you want all the luxuries of life just because you are getting laid twice a week.
I said in my first post that I do not care about what you think – you can call me a bastard or MCP or whatever. I do not care.
Road-side girls like you want to propagate all these anti-dowry talks so that you have a better deal when it comes to marriage. Why should a guy earning 5000 USD earn you? What are you giving him in return?
You calling me a bad man does not affect me bec I am not going to waste 4 Crore INR just because some beggars call me a bad man. Yes, you are a beggar, nothing more than that. You think sitting at home and breeding children puts you on an equal standing with a man who earns 2 lacs a month after taxes.
Dowry is prevalent because of housewives like you only. In US there is no dowry because women here work and prove to be equals. In India, it is there and will always be there, because Indian women are jerks – incompetent and incapable of earning their own living.
And do not talk about my mother, go and find out with whom your mother is sleeping tonight, she also must be a bored housewife and for some extra money, she must have been doing a second job
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
hi madhuvanti, katrina et al..
if money is nothing for u then why women cry for maintenance, allimony and allowance etc when there is divorce?? love is mutual. if the marriage fails then u will cry “Pay me allimony and maintenance..”.. have u read my post? i m surprise there is no comment!! because it hurts.. you see…
Madhuvanthi
August 28th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Wel, when it came to ur mother, u agreed that dowry is still there in India. This is what we were discussing here and u entirely changed the topic Mr.
Wel, for ur kind information, I am not a house wife. I am a working women and earn a big fat salary per month. So dont u dare to compare Indian women with US women. It was u who started talking everything in monetary terms so what was wrong if i asked if ur parents also thought the same way?
Wel, thankfully all men are not like u and do not think wife to be a package deal for a man who earns wel. So keep ur dirty thoughts to urself.
Sonal
August 28th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
VISHAL ,ANATH
first of all Anath gud calulation r u working in any finacial department? or ur father caluclated this and told to u? or ur sister’s husband told u ?
manana padega Boss
and one thing this calculaion for one girl?
And Vishal
i have already mentioned i m earning more that 25k still boys family asking dowry from my parents my father seraching boy who is educated because i m in IT field or people who are working and educated can understand the situation ups and down in working hours pressure etc.But now i have decided i don’t want to marry with any greddy boy it s better marry with people who are decent .
And for proof google is full of cases of dowry .You will get dowry cases in every field where people are educated or not but point is this If people who are uneducated are taking we can say they are illterate aur backward.
But if people are so much educated working in big companies y they are taking if they wants to marry working girls still they are demanding WHY????
and Anath if some girl will give u 1.8 Million USD. will do all her works which you mentioned in your article after marriage
but NO DISCOUNT!!!!
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
See ur real money hunger.. a wife, even after signing contract the she will not demand allimony, goes to the court for maintenance. is this not greed? Once u have agreed for settlement then why this greed? ohhh now u will say this is her right… actually this is the irony. greed of women is legal…
Woman cannot be debarred from maintenance after divorce: HC
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Agencies
Posted online: Wednesday, August 27, 2008 at 08:24:21
http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/Woman-cannot-be-debarred-from-maintenance-after-divorce–HC/354093/
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Allahabad, August 27: In a significant judgement, the Allahabad High Court on Wednesday ruled that a woman was entitled to claim maintenance from her former husband even if she had earlier agreed not to do so by way of a compromise.
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Passing the judgement, Justice M K Mithal set aside the order of family court at Kanpur of January 18, 2005 in which the application of Manorama, seeking maintenance from her former spouse, was rejected on the ground that they had reached a compromise in the civil suit by which the wife had accepted a lumpsum amount and agreed not to claim any maintenance in future.
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The court also turned down the husband’s plea that Manorama be debarred from claiming maintenance on the ground that she had, at the time of granting of divorce by mutual consent, agreed not to claim maintenance.
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“The right to claim maintenance under section 125 of the criminal procedure code is a matter of public policy and not of an individual. In such circumstances, the right to claim maintenance cannot be waived by mutual agreement,†the court observed.
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Moreover, it added, “any contract which is opposed to public policy is void and thus inspite of any such agreement, the wife cannot be debarred from claiming maintenance until she remarries and is able to maintain herself.”
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Dear Sonal,
I am glad to know that you are earning. Let us say you are earning 25K per month. Are you saying boys still demand dowry when they are earning in the same range.
What I was trying to say was – the monetary exchange comes into picture when the earning potential is significantly different. The difference is the same between 0 and 25K, as it is between 25K and 50K.
Do you get my point?
If you earn 25K and the guy also earns somewhere around that range, then there is no question of any justifiable monetary exchange
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Krishna
Let me tell you that I m a girl aged 23 working as a content writer. And its shame that I have to justify my articles to people likes you who go by statistical data. Come out of stats; meet people in real life, your perspective for DOWRY will change. Let me reply to all your points:
1. Let me explain my topic another time. Dowry prevails in all sections, but my topic is on Techies, who are one of most learned sets of people in the society and exposed to the western world and culture, if they demand dowry, its nothing less than disgrace. My article is based discussion with more than 100s of girls in the IT and BPO industry, who in turn have said every other girl they know have gone through the dowry demands by people of the same industry. Now most of the parents and girls do not come out in open as they do not have enough evidence (unless all of them do a sting operation) or they fear by exposing those dowry-demanding people they might be harassed as well. I have not gone through any website, but yes we keep reading about dowry cases in the media/newspaper. So before pointing fingers at me, first prove those media wrong and then come to me and then I can give u list of all these girls, who will speak about the dowry demands. But probably you would say where is proof? What proof do you have that Virag was implicated in a false dowry case (but we do believe me and sympathize with him)? So do not ask stupid questions. Also you claimed dowry laws and misuse.. Why was this law formed? Definitely girls were harassed and dowry was demanded, law did come into place. Or you think the Government found fancy making such Laws? If the law is misused by some section of the society, does it mean that dowry does not exist, people do not demand dowry?
2. The reports of 25% fake CV has appeared in leading newspaper and here is one of the links: http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/3372981.cms. I have many more, but again I do not need to justify anything when I have real people supporting my stand! The reason I have written that is many techies (again note, many techies, it might be you or might not be you) use the appointment letter of big companies to show to the prospective family to demand dowry. Again, I go by truth, I have many girls’ comments to support that. Regarding complexion, age and homely, do not let me open my mouth here as there has been many cases where already married man have showed that he is unmarried and have married again, he has showed his age as late 20s but is actually 30+. I mean if we go by that again men shaadi profile is far more fictitious than women. And, do not ask for stats and reports, everything cannot be surveyed or analyzed for you.
3. Publicity? That’s what you people think. While this site and the purpose of the site are to bring out the truth, people like you want to dilute the whole purpose by writing such things. If all techies vows not to take dowry and spread that amongst all sections of society, wont that be good?. And what marketing Krishna, there are people who have put 100s of ads across the pages with basically no content or specific contents written thousand times, our site at least has some substance (and no Ads).
4. False dowry is a different case, and we also condemn that. Even if there are 1000 of false dowry cases, my 100 cases of Dowry by techies remains firm. You cannot force me to not publish an article just because my number MIGHT BE (Again, I m not saying that false dowry cases are more) less than your FALSE DOWRY Cases. What publicity, what will I get bringing out the plight of many girls going through this emotional trauma?
5. What Crap Krishna! Direct insult to mother and sisters? Where did I do that? I said the family members who demands, how can you take that as a generalized statement. And yes if they demand, they should be insulted and insulted in bad manner. I agree there are girls who of late want to live separately and harass the parents, but those isolated cases cannot be mixed with the dowry demanding families. And did you investigate why girl want to live separately? Is she always the WRONG?
6. If Women open their mouth for each and every dowry demand, the figures will go in millions Mr. Krishna. So do not show me the figures of arrest and reports. When you do not trust media how can you trust those reports? And AGAIN I M REPEATING EVEN IF THERE ARE 1 LAC FALSE DOWRY CASES, IT CANNOT JUSTIFY FOR 10 DOWRY DEMAND OR DOWRY HARASSMENT. So am I ok to harass your daughter/sister because my friend was implicated in false dowry case? What kind of comparison or justification is that?
7. Again the same argument. I m happy to marry a decent guy, be it techie or a clerk. Flying in air and posh localities are secondary my dear friend. There is a difference between Good Life and Luxury life. Good life means good family, good support and decent income. Luxury life means money and does not necessarily amount to good family.
8. I guess Krishna you are confused totally with my article and comments by your friends. I m not women bearer, I m not an Anti-Male. I m against those techies who are exposed to such good healthy working environment, earning decent salary use their qualification and salary in bad manner, demand dowry and rejects a girl just because she cannot bring enough money. Even if my numbers are less, I do not care, why even few should be allowed. Girls might be bad, or worse, I do not care, that’s different topic, different issue (there are 100s of men whose stories will make you shiver). And if feel that girls are the problem, why marry them yaar! Be single and run your foundation!
9. In the last Para you have agreed that if a man has qualities he will be demanded. Well yes, agreed, but why demand with money MAN! He can demand good looking girl, good educated family. Why put a RATE on him! Or Man is commodity and should be sold in the market! If that is the case, go ahead and abolish the Dowry law and ask the Government to make a rule on legalizing sale of men through wedding process. The decision to choose rests on man and we respect that. I m very happy to be rejected by 100s of men on all grounds except dowry! And all your claims on girls demanding good honeymoon and in-laws harassment are again without any support or just few isolated cases. And repeating AGAIN, those cases cannot shadow my say that YES TECHIES DEMAND DOWRY.
Finally, I will ask you few things, please answer that:
1. Do you acknowledge that techies demand dowry? Yes or No (as the artcile is on that)
2. Do you support such techies? Yes or No
3. What will you do when your sister/friend is rejected on dowry demands or harassed by her inlaws?
4. Will you take dowry?
I also agree that FALSE Cases of dowry and misuse prevails and we condemn that. But do not use that as a weapon, means or support to undercover my stand on dowry.
Before I end, I m not a very good writer. Zorsebol is about people who have thoughts and reality in mind, but good phrases which you people can make. But we have to look beyond those artificial writing and focus on the truth, focus on the issues, focus on the problem, which I think I have done well. Have your say Krishna and again do not take this as an attack on you. You will not become small if you acknowledge that this problem exists in the society. Will I promise to work on False Dowry Topic; you should also acknowledge and accept to work on Dowry by many people in the society including techies.
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I now ask.. if huge allimony (often more than half the salary of the guy) is given as allimony, then whats wrong if the guy demanded money? If the marriage breaks down then why the guy pays? Now where from does this “money factor” came if according to women it is not important? Not all marriages break because of dowry. So why in all cases the guy has to cough up huge allimony, apart from going to jail. Failed marriage is not a crime anyway… there are 1001 reasons for a failed marriage…
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Dear all,
Have you ever seen a guy running around claiming that he is unable to get married?
It is always the girls that run around saying they are not getting a proper match – the reason is because they think they deserve something more than what the marriage market offers them.
Ananth
August 28th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
@Madhuvanthi
You are arguing just because you are reject in marriage market.
Earlier you were against all men, and when you realized that this arguement is bad you changed your line of arguements.
About dowry, why should I marry someone who is not earning? I will get someone who earns as well as shares household work with me.
Parents of these non-working girls still want to get their daughter married to me, hence they compensate with money. Hence, dowry is not bad.
Dowry torture is bad, but dowry in itself is not bad.
Girls keep harping about love. Well, what love happens in arranged marriages before marriage? So that love bullshit is propagated by people who want to save money.
As someone else mentioned, love is mutual. You give love and you get love. Money is a separate thing.
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Dear Krishna and Virag,
Thanks for pointing me to so much information about these false dowry cases.
This shows the mentality of girls and their families. I have been reading a lot about those since this debate started, and I thank you for increasing the awareness.
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Dear Rips,
You said “Come out of stats; meet people in real life, your perspective for DOWRY will change.”
I read on Virag’s website that they get 300 calls from distressed husbands every day and they have weekly meetings in every major city across the nation, why don’t you attend one of the meetings? May be your perspective will change
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Rahul, those figures and good and i will add in my topic on False dowry. But can those figures justify dowry demands?
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Dear Ribs
I dont say harassement for dowry is justified. What we say is these articles should not be published without firm references. We dont agree to media reports being references. We only agree to police and court rulings. We condemn all sorts of illegal demands. My (our) point is that you do not have enough expertise of laws and social status. Refrain yourself from writing such sensitive articles based solely on your “survey”. This is not ethical. Firstly, any survery claiming such a finding should be based on national level. Secondly, the data collected should be acknoledged, thirdly views of both the parties should be taken into account, fourth and lastly media reports should be avoided. even if out of 100 people you surveyed (which is tooooooo low to be published) and say 90 of them claim that they were asked dowry in marriage situation, this does not amount to 90% techies asking for dowry. You are very young to report conduct such a survey and very very immature to publish it. Ina a country of billions 100 does not mean anything even if they are invariably speaking the truth. The cases we talk about are direclty from the national crime statistics. We acknoledge any pain that a girl may face for dowry demands but then any such article should be based on strong nation wide survey not only a survey in ur office. U are free to write an article but the way you respond to comments shows your immaturity. You need not write any article on dowry law misuse. u dont seem to be aware of the laws, the ipc the crpc etc. so will mess the things up. yes… i m sorry if i considered u a mail. actually i was confused with the name…
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
And if you there is nothing wrong in asking dowry, do this – Make a public statement when you demand dowry, let the world know, let your company know and see what response you get.!
Be in the topic, your all claims on FALSE DOWRY CASES cannot cover the harsh truth!
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Dear Rips,
Ananth’s comments are surely strong, he has a strong view, but he raises one good point – the distinction between dowry and dowry torture. He says, dowry in itself is not bad, but dowry torture is. What do you think?
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Krishna, Virag, Rahul
Just one question – Do you see what Ananth’s claim is? Do you support such calculations? If relationship a calculation? Its shame that I had to accept those kinds of comments for my article, which disgraces women to the lowest level!
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Dear Rips,
You said “Make a public statement when you demand dowry, let the world know, let your company know and see what response you get.!”
So you agree that most world is against dowry?
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Yes I agree, but the Double standards exists Mr dear friend. The same people want to speak anti-dowry slogans while they keep their options open!
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Dear Rips,
Women themselves disgrace other women by stooping to low levels.
Did you notice the comments from some of our other friends in this forum yesterday:
1. Respect me bec I am a woman (so nothing else to respect in me apart from my gender)
2. I want to be a housewife, I do not want to contribute to the house, I do not want to have my own identity, I do not want to be independent
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Dear Ribs,
About double standards – so you are saying that although people will not accept it openly, everyone takes dowry?
In that case, you are saying everyone is bad?
I am sorry but I am confused
Sonal
August 28th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Rahul
I m not giving exact amount of earning i m trying to put tat i m also eraning but still facing problem of dowry..
I have so many cases even i have rates of all boys working in different fields .If you want i can show u but you have to take all resposibilities…
nad its better to marry guy who is earning less than me but he should be decent..I don’t want to marry a guy like Anath and people who are eraning more but they are greddy..
and about dream of lacs we have no dreams on Boys money We are so capable to earn more than lacs…Question is this why our parents give Dowry.?
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Dear Sonal,
Question on why your parents give dowry should be asked to your parents, isnt it?
I am also not particular about how much are you actually earning. I took 25K as an example to talk about.
I know womeone who earns 2,400 Rupees a month and that means a life to him.
the point I was trying to drive home is: monetary exchange comes into picture when the girl (parents) want to have a much-better earning partner than her
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
You are very smart with words Rahul. On comments by Madhuvanthi about “I want to be…”
Dun you think housewife itself is a big challenge and a job? A girl who is as well educated and can earn decent income wants to be housewife coz she needs to nurture the house, bring up their children in a nice manner, take care of your parents? Read another article http://www.zorsebol.com/issues/sting-operation-mother-baby-sitter-horrible-facts/ what happens when you want to leave your child with maids! Its takes a lot of courage to come from educated background and still want to serve your family! So do not play with the words, try and understand WHY!
Ananth
August 28th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
So a guy is decent only when he give you 1.8 Million US for free?
Guys be on the watch out for these girls. They are just trying to brainwash you because it is economically beneficial to them.
I earn 5,200 USD a month. I can get a girl who earns around the same, as well as loves me, as well as shares the household work with me.
If a non-working girl wants to get married to me, then it is just fair that she comes with some equivalent other assets.
I do not care what word do you use to call it, you can call it dowry for all I care.
I am not forcing anyone to give me dowry. This is my benchmark, so if someone can afford it I am available to get married. Otherwise, no hard feelings.
Madhuvanthi
August 28th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Hey hello ANANTH!! Who are u to comment what I am? Who are u to say I am rejected material? MIND UR BLOODY CHEAP LANGUAGE!!!
If I get a scenario where I need to marry someone like u, I will be the first one who will reject u. For ur kind information, my marriage is already fixed and my would be hub is earning 1.5 lack per month. Just come and ask him how to treat a women and he will educate u on how to talk to a girl.
By the way, I am also in the IT field and I have many projects to handle before me. I am not sitting on bench like u guys who have such free time to discuss these SHITS.
If you can do something, do something about the dowry coz of which women are still suffering (the first cause of this article). Else just stop speaking ill about all women. If u cannot do anything good for Indian women, dont atleast speak bad about them..
Ananth
August 28th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
@Madhuvanthi
You were the second to comment on this post, that shows how busy you are and who is on bench.
About your husband earning 1.5 lakhs a month, that is none of my business.
I will repeat what I said
“I earn 5,200 USD a month. I can get a girl who earns around the same, as well as loves me, as well as shares the household work with me.
If a non-working girl wants to get married to me, then it is just fair that she comes with some equivalent other assets.”
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Dear Ribs,
Thank you for the compliments.
If a girl wants to sit at home, then it should be a mutual decision taken with consent from the husband.
Here, our friends have already made up their mind to sit at home and enjoy even when no such need is aparent to the husband.
Also, there are dozens of stories where women say they are forced to leave their jobs and sit at home. That time, women had a problem with that because they wanted to have their own identity and be independent.
Now, we are saying – go and work. They have a problem with that too.
What do women want?
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Yes mutual decision and individual preference. While madhuvanthi wants to stay at home, there are 1000s who want to work. Do take take 1-2 cases and generalize. I just said if she has said she wants to be housewife, its her BOLD decision as it takes lots of gut to leave your job and sacrifice on boy’s family!
You guys have not answered by questions – let me put them here again:
1. Do you acknowledge that techies demand dowry? Yes or No (as the artcile is on that)
2. Do you support such techies? Yes or No
3. What will you do when your sister/friend is rejected on dowry demands or harassed by her inlaws?
4. Will you take dowry?
I guess that will sum up everything?
We are going round the circles and deviating from the real topic here!
Ananth
August 28th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
@Rahul
These women just want to harass men. They do not know what they want. They just want to create problems all the time.
Look at the history of India, how many problems happened because of women, including Ramayana war and Mahabharatha war.
The world is a problematic place because these women think in an illogical manner. With time, some of them have managed to get some education and hence have the audacity to talk, but they still talk non-sense.
No wonder, they still want to remain housewives as they know they are only capable of sitting at home and breeding children.
And yes, i do think it is an inferior job just to sit at home and be a housewife. There is hardly anything to be done there, there are so many people who live on their own, how do they manage? There are so many couples where both are working – they do not have a home or what? So all these are just lousy excuses by women who have become used to sitting at home and enjoying life
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
I, Rahul, Virag and Anant have the same benchmark. We say we are all against dowry harassement. But we are of the opinion that if the girl (or her father) contributes to the setting of a home, without any torture, that is no harm. Anant has set his standards and we dont find anything wrong in it. If u cant afford, dont go to him. But then dont bring in the love and affection and bla bla.. where does this affection goes when the girls ask for allimony in case of a divorce. None replied to my post on allimony. And someone proudly said that her husband is earning 1.5 lacs. That shows her mentality. she is so proud of her husband’s salary. thats what girls need… and mind u people demanding money if the girl is earning, is a rarity. even if all 100 of u say that u faced this is a rarity… non working girls are provided with streedhan. this is not bad…and it is legal.. daughter’s share in parental property, whether she is earning or not, is also legal… and the husband has the right to ask for it. see the SC judgement for that…
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Dear Ribs,
We are going around in circles because the term dowry is not clear.
Yesterday one of your friends here defined the difference between dowry and gifts as gifts as something that is given voluntarily. Do you agree to that definition?
So, according to that definition, what Ananth is saying is also not dowry. He expects money if the girl is not earning. He is ready to get married to a girl if her parents give that money voluntarily.
Do you see the point?
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
This is reply to Ananth’s claim that Ramayan and Mahabharat war was because of women.
Read the epic again, it were the men who insulted women and that’s why war. Probably if those stories had happened today, the situation would have been worse, people like who would say “Women are trouble makers, so we are happy that Ravana has taken her or Dushshan is right in undressing her!” Ghore Kalyug! Good to know your thoughts, it will be an eye-opener for all girls who wants to get married. Girls think agaiN!
Ananth
August 28th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
@Ribs,
Girls will still get married, because they need someone to ‘live-off” for the rest of their lives – financially as well as emotionally.
As someone rightly said a few minutes back, it is always the girls who make a hue and cry about not being able to find a proper match, because they are the ones for whom the need to get married is more.
Why should a guy not take dowry? If I am getting a girl along with 4 Crore INR and another girl without any money, is it a tough decision to make which one will I choose?
Virag Dhulia
August 28th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Rips, your questions are like a questionnaire designed by a novice for IPS exams. Simply answering your questions is not going to address the problem per se. Looks like you have some personal inherent grudge against techies which you are relenting here.
1. Do you acknowledge that techies demand dowry? Yes or No (as the artcile is on that)
If at all they do so, why do girls give? Answer this first.
2. Do you support such techies? Yes or No
No we do not, if at all they exist.
3. What will you do when your sister/friend is rejected on dowry demands or harassed by her inlaws?
If they reject my sis on dowry demand, their loss, as they are losing a well cultured girl. Definitely my sis will know how to win hearts and build homes the way my mom did. I will make my sister competent enough to face difficulties in her life on her own rather than file cases and ruin everyone’s life.
4. Will you take dowry?
NO. But will the FIL treat his daughter the same way he treats his son?
Now you answer these questions.
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Now i know why false dowry cases! People like you demand dowry and after bringing dowry the girl definitely would like to have the XTRA respect, just like you men have extra ego when you bring more salary. And when these girls do not get the respect probably some of them might file false dowry harassment case, again based on whatever my friends have written before. So you know why false dowry cases?
God, never knew we can find a solution to another problem by arguing on this topic. Try that Rahul, I m sure you will never be into False Dowry case!
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Dear Ribs,
I was not even talking about the false cases as I do not know much about them, but from your talks – I conclude that some of the dowry cases are false, because when the girl does not get that XTRA respect, she will file those cases.
Coming back to the original topic, you wrote such a big misleading article on dowry torture. You are yet to:
1. Define dowry
2. Answer Ananth on why should he choose a girl over ‘a girl + money’ – so the problem lies with people who are giving dowry
3. Yesterday, we had a new friend posting newspaper links here – did she realise that all the allegations in those newspapers are ALLEGED and not the truth. 98% of those allegations are false.
4. Will you attend the next weekly meetings this week to get a new perspective?
5. Once you have defined dowry, let us talk about dowry torture and dowry demands
Gokul
August 28th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
sorry the 2nd link is http://at498a.blogspot.com/2008/08/unprovoked-suicides-dowry-deaths-in.html
Gyanesh Purohit
August 28th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I have a question for the author. Why does a girl who earns 30K per month wont marry a guy who earns less than or even equal to her. (Now please dont say this is not true)
Give a choice to a girl’s parents. A guy earning 30K but not demanding any dowry and a guy earning 1 lakh and asking for huge dowry. 99 out of 100 girls will go for second. Now who is to blame.
Gyanesh Purohit
August 28th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Question no. 2
When an educated girls leave her husband. Then why does she asks for maintenance from husband. Cannot she can earn for herself. Is this not same as the dowry you are talking about???
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
one question!! you urself say techies demand dowry. Now the question is .. why?? because the girls give them. it is simple. why the girls give them? because they are greedy. simple again. why dont the girls go and marry a decent guy getting 5000 rs. he wont demand dowry i bet. girls say they will marry a less earning guy than marry a dowry hungry guy. why “less earning”? why not “no earning”? or earning “4000 a month”. they wont demand dowry. i guarantee. they just look for a homely and well natured girl.
Gyanesh Purohit
August 28th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
The exact same article can be written with just a change in title
“Dowry given by girl’s parents to get Techies! Shameful act still prevalent in the Indian Society.”
Author comment please
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
RIBS I READ YOUR VIEWS ABOUT WHY GIRLS FILE FALSE DOWRY CASES
“Now i know why false dowry cases! People like you demand dowry and after bringing dowry the girl definitely would like to have the XTRA respect, just like you men have extra ego when you bring more salary. And when these girls do not get the respect probably some of them might file false dowry harassment case, again based on whatever my friends have written before. So you know why false dowry cases?
God, never knew we can find a solution to another problem by arguing on this topic. Try that Rahul, I m sure you will never be into False Dowry case!”
AS I SAID, I AGAIN REQUEST YOU NOT TO WRITE ANY ARTICLE ON FALSE DOWRY CASES. PLEASE! BECASUE YOU WILL RUIN THE MATTER…
KRISHNA
Gyanesh Purohit
August 28th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
And young MALE techies reading this.
Please better be safe than being sorry. There are high chances that ur wife may be good. But even if in 1% of the case she is bad then u’ll regret loosing ur precious money in legal battles. Many innocent people are regretting this. So yes demand HUGE dowry and leave no evidences. Make sure you are taking all amount in CASH with no video or audio evidence. All this u can later use to fight any legal battles. (Its upto u, u can return money after u’re sure of her and her parents nature after say about 10 years)
Its pity few bad girls are digging grave for the whole female population.
Gokul
August 28th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
See how no action is taken on a husband’s murder, current discussion by his aunt(see Jayahsree’s post): http://forum.indya.com/showthread.php?t=60802&page=21
It happens both ways, the common factor is that law is indifferent to genuine victims, it will pander to only the corrupt, the evil, the BUYER of LAW!!!.
If u guys realise it yet….. genuine victims need to fight this injustice …. together!(whatever may be the gender)
Let there be light!
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Rabul, this is in reply to your questions -
1. I do not need to define Dowry as its already there in my article and its very much known to people and if you still want to know, go and google it.
2. Ananth question is baseless. Coz he is judging girl by money! He should choose a girl based on family background, her education, her qualities and not with MONEY ONLY. And to answer question from Ananth is below my dignity as he seems no respect for women.
3. I might not attend next weekly, but I would love to attend one of those meetings. Again, it will not change my mind for this article, I might be inspired to write more on other issues.
4. I have defined, I have put real time issues but you guys are adament on justifying dowry and propagating False Dowry Harasmment cases. Someone wrote that 100s cases are not enough, I say even if one techie demands dowry, I have all reasons to write that in this blog. Its like a pickpocketer arguing with police, why do you beat me or put me in jail when my crime is nothing in front of murderers and rapists.
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Dear Ribs,
You say – “1. I do not need to define Dowry as its already there in my article and its very much known to people and if you still want to know, go and google it.”
Kindly go back and read my first comment, I will copy and paste it here again for your ready reference:
“Rahul Verma
August 27th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
The author is just a confused person spreading rumours about things that he/she does not understand.
I read only the opening lines and realised it:
“Dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage. In India, it has been a tradition from pre-historic times. Maharajas (kings) use to give huge piece of land, jewels etc to their daughter before sending them to husband’s home.â€
Dear Author – first you make up your mind whether dowry is what the woman brings to her husband OR dowry is what the daughter gets.
I am hoping you shall realise the fine distinction.”
So, it is clear that your article does not define what dowry is.
As per your advice, I googled, and I come across postings that say Dowry is a bogus word.
You have mis-spelled my name as Rabul in stead of Rahul, but I do not mind, so next time Krishna mis-spells your name, do not be harsh on him, it is just a typo.
Gyanesh Purohit
August 28th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
rips please also answer why not the title of this article be changed to
“Dowry given by girl’s parents to get Techies! Shameful act still prevalent in the Indian Society.â€
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
I purposely misspelt your name as I “ZOR SE BOLLED” that my name is rips and u all continued to write ribs
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Dear Rips, why don’t you tell us your real name so that we do not make the mistake again?
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Gyanesh, try to understand my topic. Dowry is accepted by other professionals as well, but techies demanding them is a shame. That’s why the title. My boyfriend is a techie as well and I have no personal grudge against any techie or techies in general.
Anyways, i have made my point loud and clear. Seems like people want to take out “BAAL ka KHaal”.. I would like some more intelligent comments on this article.
Bharath
August 28th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Girls or Women if your mind has matured,
Rather than cribbing about the dowry don’t give any dowry and say to your parents that you don’t marry if dowry or gifts are exchanged.
Only go for a person who does not demand dowry from you and probably earning less than you and then try to treat that person as equal to you then there will be no dowry.
Why do girls and their parents wants to get a better boy who is handsome and has no bad habits and have a huge salary at any cost ? Are boys earning less than you not people ? Give it a thought.
Make a group and Pledge that you will not give dowry or marry someone who asks for dowry and also pledge if your marriage fails you will no file a false dowry case and demand money from your in-laws or you will not file for alimony or maintenance. Make a pledge that you will not watch all the saash-bahu serials in TV and think this is real live instead go to a slum and watch how couples live there. The less money you have the more happier you will be and understand this.
regards, Bharath.
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Dear Rips,
You think only comments supporting your false claims are intelligent comments?
Yesterday also you said that this discussion is not getting anywhere when people started to oppose your views.
As you would have noticed, all the so called women who were supporting you have realised their misconceptions and have stopped to argue
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Bharath, I echo your voice.
Guys this is what i want. I might have not portrayed my idea well, but Bharath has further explained it very well.
And you are right? Girls should also not marry guys who demand dowry! But phir Rahul, Ananth ka kya hoga?
These lines are best written-
The less money you have the more happier you will be and understand this.
Thanks Bharath!
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
your article is down and out. more than half say its useless. it is always easy to say “dowry is a menace” but it is difficult to see the real picture. but please dont write on misuse of dowry law as i requested above. see your views
****************
“Now i know why false dowry cases! People like you demand dowry and after bringing dowry the girl definitely would like to have the XTRA respect, just like you men have extra ego when you bring more salary. And when these girls do not get the respect probably some of them might file false dowry harassment case, again based on whatever my friends have written before. So you know why false dowry cases?
God, never knew we can find a solution to another problem by arguing on this topic. Try that Rahul, I m sure you will never be into False Dowry case!â€
*********
with these views we dont think u r responsible enough to write on that topic.
We are against all tortures. but we hate when people create false panic in society.
Krishna
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Dear Rips,
Girls should also not marry guys who demand dowry! No one ever objected to that.
My primary concern is that dowry is a bogus word. Dowry does not exist as portrayed in the articles like yours. Monetary exchange might take place at the time of marriage but that is purely because handicapped girls want to get handsome earning guys.
About lesser the money the more happier you are, you and your boyfriend can kindly send all your savings to my bank account. I would love to make you happier.
Gyanesh Purohit
August 28th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
You say “but techies demanding them is a shame”. I cannot agree with you more. And the girl’s parents giving dowry to get techies is an equal shame. Do you agree with me???
Hence “Dowry by Techies! Shameful act still prevalent in the Indian Society” == “Dowry given by girl’s parents to get Techies! Shameful act still prevalent in the Indian Society”
You must agree with this also.
And yes no girl would marry a guy equal or less earning than herself. Any thoughts about this also.
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Gyanesh the topic is DOWRY DEMANDS by techies. Your topic is Dowry given by girl’s parent.. some give in majboori and some afford to give.. But WHY DO TECHIES or as a matter of fact any one demand DOWRY!
Regartding your next claim – no girl would marry… thats bakwaas.. the life cycle changes in matter of days my friend, tomorrow may the hi-fi techie will be out of market, does that mean girl should leave that guy? Marriages are above money unless you all have redefined the meaning!
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Dear Rips, that is what Gyanesh is trying to say, why is the topic DOWRY DEMANDS, why is the topic not something like – Parents of ugly handicapped girls entice high paying techies using dowry?
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
***************************
Why do girls and their parents wants to get a better boy who is handsome and has no bad habits and have a huge salary at any cost ? Are boys earning less than you not people ? Give it a thought.
Make a group and Pledge that you will not give dowry or marry someone who asks for dowry and also pledge if your marriage fails you will no file a false dowry case and demand money from your in-laws or you will not file for alimony or maintenance. Make a pledge that you will not watch all the saash-bahu serials in TV and think this is real live instead go to a slum and watch how couples live there. The less money you have the more happier you will be and understand this.
**********************************
This is what i (Rahul and virag and ananth included) have been trying to convey. see my posts on maintenance. Why ribs, u said that u wanted to say this?? but now that u dont find any argument and find a softer response than ours, u comit that u were trying to convery the same!! you say
********
I might have not portrayed my idea well
********
after so many deliberations and mud-slunging on males and their mothers, u are saying u have not expressed yourself well!!!
Please do not write anything on dowry law misuse… It is my sincere request … and yes… if ever your brother or mother gets accused in a false case do call us…
Gyanesh Purohit
August 28th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Those who demand have not put the revolver around girl’s parents neck. Why do they give is my question. Can you explain the majboori part.
And dont skirt my question. I agreed with you. Do you agree that giving dowry to get a rich guy is a shame.
“Marriages are above money unless you all have redefined the meaning”. Thats for the greedy people (boys and girls both) to understand. I did not say a techie in general. Working girls tend to find a partner who is earning more than herself. Its not bakwaas. Ask any damn person aroung you. Compare the salaries of couple at the time of marriage.
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Dear Krishna,
I am a novice in matters of law, but I understand from your posts (and Virag’s and Gyanesh’s and Gokul’s) that I would face false dowry charges only when I do not take dowry.
Also Gyanesh’s point is logical, from where will I get the money to bribe the police and judiciary if I am falsely implicated.
I never thought I will take dowry but the last 2 days have made me in 2 minds
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Gyanesh, do you have a daughter or a sister? When you spend months and years looking for a match and when u get rejected on the lines that you cannot bring money/gifts to them you will feel the pain! Seems like you guys are too young to know the facts or you want to purposely undercast my point!
I am still firm on the fact that its SHAME techies demand DOWRY!
I have to take a break here, but will reply in next few hrs. So have ur say guys! Dun stop coz I m not stopping till I make everyone accept my point
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
**********
some give in majboori and some afford to give
**********
What majboori?? just step down a bit and marry an unemployed graduate. Whats the majboori??? The unemployed fellow will definately marry. U all curse the dowry and at the same time will not marry the unemployed. There are lacs of unemployed graduates, even post graduates, roaming and noone ever goes to them for marriage!!! and then the parents of the girl talk about “majboori”!!!!
YES THESE GIRLS WHO DONT WISH TO MARRY THE UNEMPLOYED, NO MATTER HOW DECENT THEY ARE, DESERVE THE DEMAND FOR DOWRY.
and please read in full before passing me as a perpetrator of violence on women. We hate all forms of violence and torture for anything.
Krishna
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Dear Rips,
As far as age is concerned, I would not be surprised if you are the youngest here, so let us not say who is young and who is old.
About Gyanesh’s sister or daughter – she will not get rejected because of gifts if they will look for an alliance within their ‘aukat’, and not look for an MNC manager for a housewife.
We shall all wait for you to be back from your break. (I hope your boyfriend is not jealous).
And I shall still be waiting for the money transferred from your account and his account.
I shall still be waiting for you to define dowry for me, since Google tells me that dowry is a bogus word.
I shall still be waiting for you to tell me how many girls do you know who got married to someone earning less than her.
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Krishna – who is propagating violence on women? Yes the girls will have to marry the unemployed if the employed techies are so greedy and justify their demands for dowry! Phir soch lo you will marry u all – only the ones who can give dowry and the ones who will bring cash would like to AASH and will make u Joru ka Ghulam.. Soch lo
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Dear Rahul
There are high chances that u will be implicated in a false dowry case (with your father, mother and sister). No matter u take it or not. and the girls who talk here that they were rejected because of dowry must have been rejected for other reasons. they cant digest that.
I dont say that u take dowry but u should definately follow some precautions before u marry an indian girl, particularly the TECHIE girl…for details contact me at kctripathi2417@rediffmail.com
Gyanesh Purohit
August 28th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
“ones who will bring cash would like to AASH and will make u Joru ka Ghulam” actually its the other way round. since they have already brought cash the girl and most importantly her parents would like to protect the marriage since it would be an investment gone waste.
on the other hand girls not bringing any money can easily leave if differences arise.
thats y i have changed my thoughts. BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
demand huge dowry and that too in cash with no video or audio evidence.
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Dear Rips,
Tum gayi nahin abhi tak?
There are loads and loads of girls waiting to get married to a well earning guy, so the world should not be worried about us.
Show me one case where a girl married an unemployed guy (and the chances of getting a fabulous job in near future were low)?
Actually, marriages in India are a trade of a man’s salary and a woman’s looks. With time, men realised that they can get beauty without marriage, and women realised that they can not get 50% of a man’s salary without getting married to him.
Hence, women are still desperate to get married, and entice guys with all their charms and their parent’s money
Gyanesh Purohit
August 28th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
And you’ve asked me personally. My parents wanted a daughter in my wife as they themselves had lost their daughter of young age. we were too much of an idealist to even refuse gifts given voluntarily by girls. Unfortunately we were taught a lesson the hard way by my wife. (Its alltogether a different matter that after initial hiccups its she who is at the receiving end after we decided to fight back)
I would not have brought my story but i was asked.
Also my story should be a lesson for young males who try to be idealist. My motto is demand huge dowry and take everything in cash with no video or audio evidence.
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
joru ka gulam hona to aaj ke purush ki kismat hai madam. agar nahi hua to “maa ka baccha” kaha jayega. fir jail bhi jayega. but hum aur virag aise nahi hain. humne to jung ched di hai…
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
and by the way i am not a techie…
Jaggy
August 28th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Looks like Sanjana is a boy in girl’s disguise wanting to say something but have no words. Thats why using slang and other cheap means of defaming Rips. Go ahead Sanjs, we ignore such comments..
Gyanesh Purohit
August 28th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
“we ignore such comments”
You ignore all comments for which u dont have answer
Admin
August 28th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
The comments by “Sanjana” is removed from the blog as it contained bad remarks. Please limit your remarks on the topic only
Webmaster
Zorsebol
Admin
August 28th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Sanjana
You are warned once again for making bad remarks on person. Please limit your thoughts only on the topic. Any discussion about the author or other readers should be made outside this blog Please!
Webmaster
Zorsebol
techie_guy
August 28th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
What’s wrong in demanding dowry man? If girl’s parents are ok to pay, let them, if not find somneone else.. Why big argument.
There are other burning issues – J & K, Bihar flood, concentrate on them. This post got too much attention out of nothing.
Krishna Tripathi
August 28th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
agree with techie_guy
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Guys back.. So you all want to agree that dowry demand is justified.. if girl’s parents cannot afford it look for someone else?
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Dear Rips,
Welcome back.
You reply to all my previous questions, then I will reply to your further questions. Fair enough?
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Rahul Can you paste your questions again?
Rahul Verma
August 28th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Dear Rips,
No, I can not paste my questions again. I was typing all the while here for you. If you do not have time to read my earlier posts, there is no point in posting any further messages.
You can kindly revisit all the earlier posts where I have posed several questions (most of which are still un-anwsered).
sachin
August 28th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Hi all!
I haven’t been thru’ all the above but definately a couple of thoughts above. The article is only a one side of the coin. This is purely a mind set of the author.
Take for ex. my case: My wife is a Phd. I am BE + MBA, but during the marriage my FIL asked me 10 time ” any demands? any demands? any demands” & our reply was no always. I know they were not a position to fufill any demands.
I told my my wife & FIL we only want your daughter in 2 pair of clothes, thats it. Nothing more than that. On the contrary I paid some of the marriage expenses for my BIL.
Still my wife ditched me alleged me that I demand for dowry in front of the town inspector, fortuinately due to my repo & FIl’s statement I was not arrested. But she continued to torture my mother & myself. Went to “mayak” , her mother, brother & sisiter told my relatives that we are torchring her. “Ulta choor kotwal ko datey”.
When I went to take her said “you are dead for me”,” keep u r mom out of house”, the kid we had is not mine etc etc etc. Also doesnot maintian the deignity as a woman in the house.
Now why this is not highlighted in any of the articles. There are thousands of cases with the data available of male torture, why no one writes on them?
In the above article it is the subtle mentality of the girl & her parents that they are unable to say no to the dowry. They do not have the guts to marry their daughter with out Dowry. They are coward & want to hide behind the curtains of dowry. The girl self wants to escape the soical stigma of not bringing the dowry & for this they all take the shelter of bla bla things. Absolute bull shit. Come out in open & say you will neither give nor take any dowry. Has the author of the article got the guts to say & do that……..?
The ans. is absolutely no. He a phattu… coward that’s whyhiding behind the womens sari….shayad chudiyan bhi pahan lee hongi ab tak tou.
rips
August 28th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Sachin
You seems to be coming from the same group Virag, Rahul and Krishna are coming from. While we sympathize what happened with you, but just your case or 100s of cases reported by Virag on his website cannot defy my stand on Dowry by Techies. While False dowry is one side of the coin, Dowry demands by techies and probably many others is other side of the coin. Why dun we fight both rather than fighting with each other and surprisingly you all seems to be not accepting that dowry exists, and is demanded by highly paid, highly educated techies. There is no point in allegations – why we did not include this case, that case and so on..
So while acknowledging that misuse of Section 498a is at large, please do not keep another issue of DOWRY demands and do justify that demands are legal on grounds of salary calculations girl’s property etc etc which my dear friends highlighted above.
Pinky
August 28th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Oh God, i never thought this discussion with go that big. I have not read the full article, but now i sympathize with the author and not with you bunch of greedy people who have been victim of something in your life and justifying that with going against women.
Ananth – Who are you man? Are you a man? $100 deal, will your sister sleep with people if they pay you $100. Shameless creature didnt your hands tremblemed when you wrote such calculations! Its nothing less than sin to write such things about women or girl. The website owner should report this matter with police and get his arrested. Chi…
Rahul, dun you know what dowry is? But you seems to be justifying dowry demands. Do not act stupid and harass the author, address the problem, suggest the solution.
I just googled and found that Virag and his team seems to be up against women for false dowry. But see a point here – While dowry demands are done mainly before marriage and girl’s parents has to say no, there are very less evidence that dowry is demanded in full force. I wish we have a national poll here and the answer will be clear..
I m sending this artcile to my friends, I m shocked literally!
Sumanth
August 28th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Indian women want big size. They want a guy who is bigger in education, in salary, in status.
These Indian women screw their own fathers and brothers with demands that they find a groom with a big size.
Why do not women marry down?
Why they have to marry someone of higher status?
If someone is demanding dowry, then why the hell girls marry to those morons?
Most Indian females are brainwashed by feminazies that Indian men have a good time while women are suffering.
Indian men and especially techies should stop marrying as the feminists have poisoned the minds of all the females.
Its time institution of marriage is completely abolished.
When marriage itself is not there, dowry will also get eliminated.
Pinky
August 28th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
We are not marrying men who demand dowry. This is what the author is trying to project. Even if you can afford, please do not pay to these morons. Dowry should be stopped. Both giver and demanders are culprits.
Sumanth
August 28th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Lets pray that the females and their own brothers get jailed under false dowry cases. When their own sisters-in-law file false cases and the family gets dragged to police stations, then they will come running, begging to SIFF (Save Indian Family Foundation).
Why feminazies are not fighting against extravagant marriages?
Feminists are hypochondriac hypocrites.
Sumanth
August 28th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
How to Improve Gender Sensitivity in India…here are some suggestions…..
1) Women must not be imprisoned even if they kill. They need to be put in reformation homes.
2) As soon as a woman marries, she must get 50% rights onto husband’s property.
3) Large scale single parenting by woman must be encouraged with maintenance provided by husband. Research shows that children who are not allowed to see their fathers after divorce for years grow up very healthy. In India, Gender Sensitive judges must allow the women to
decide whether she allows the father to see the child after divorce or not.
4) Any violence committed by woman against others(including murder) must be considered as done in self-defense.
5) The disparity between life expectency rate difference between men and women need to be brought to the levels of that of developed countries. In India, women live 2.4 years more than men on an average. This difference in life expectency has to be brought to the levels in
US and Europe where women live 7 years more than men on an average.
6) If a man cancels the enagagement, he needs to be punished with imprison up to 5 months. If a woman cancels engagement, she must be compensated with 30% of man’s annual income.
7) Any woman who commits suicide within 7 years of marriage, a dowry harassment or other harassment case against the husband to be put by default. He must be imprisoned for 1 year for not taking care of his wife.
9) A man must do half of household work even if his wife is not earning.
10) After marriage, a man must not stay with his parents or allow his parents to stay prolonged period with him. He must allow his in-laws to stay in his house for the same amount of time his parents stay in his house. If he violates these rights of the woman, he can be
imprisoned for not taking equal care of his in-laws.
11) If in-laws of a man “feel†their daughter and they are not properly treated, the man should be thoroughly counselled. If he does not mend his ways, stringent laws be made (even provision for lashing) for rectifying him.
12) The ratio of male:female suicide rates in India to be brought to the levels in west. In India, 50%(about 25000) more men commit suicide than women. This is much lower than the western standards where about 150% more men commit suicide than women.
13) The richer and the more educated the men are, the more should be pressure on them. They should provide the wife with a lifestyle equivalent to their status and they must also spend quality time with family.
14) Women in rural india and poor women suffer due to ignorance and they can not afford legal help. So, the legal provisions must be used only in urban india. The rural women must be discouraged from approaching police or courts as they can not afford to pay bribes. The
rural women (women in villages) must be empowered with better employment and they must be counselled to live healthy life in traditional family system and respect the decisions of family elders. This way, it can be shown that laws on women’s rights are UNDERUSED. That will help the urban women to MISUSE the law and file false complaints. That will give good business to Feminist lawyers and Human Rights lawyers and provide good bribes to the police. Of course, the booty is ultimately settled between police and Women organisations. The extortion for a Techie goes upto 1 lac and for NRI it goes upto 4 lacs. If the techie does not pay up, the NGO must send the police to harass his landlord, friends and boss in workplace.
15) The rural women do not suffer from domestic violence. Hence domestic violence laws must be used more stringently in urban india only.
16) Men had much better life than women since ages. Men fought wars and always had good food in plundered lands when their women remained in hunger.
17) 25% of software engineers are women, so does 50% of medical students. The men whom these women marry must get bigger salaries than these women and must have higher social status than these talented women. Women must always marry up.
18) Men who do not like their wives wearing revealing clothes(including low-jeans) are old fashioned. In stead of divorcing them, their wives must use threat of section 498a (anti-dowry laws) to get the old parents of the man imprisioned, so that men can be counselled to change and learn tolerance.
19) Designers who plan to design revealing clothes for men must be banned for spreading vulgarity. Wearing revealing clothes is a right solely meant for women.
20) All judges who do not follow gender sensitivity and give judgements against women, must lose their right to pension.
21) Crime Against Women (CAW) cells must counsel the men such that men realise that if they do not bend, then their parents,sisters even grandparents can be imprisoned and tortured. CAW cells must also counsel the men not to commit suicide by telling them in detail
various methods of committing suicide. Men committing suicide must always be listed as suicide due to financial reason even if he commits suicide arranging dowry for his daughter.
22) As prevalent in Govt. services, any man accused of harassment against his wife, must be fired from job. Special camps must be set up by govt. in each state for these men to reform. Only hard work can make them learn patience and considerate behaviour. “Work Brings
Freedomâ€, “Arbeit Macht Freiâ€. Their property must be confiscated by the state and donated to the NGOs working hand-in-hand with sincere police and benovelant lawyers for betterment of women.
23) Many human rights organisations have created examples of gender sensitivity by championing against giving bail to innocent old and sick in-laws of women who complain of mistreatment. In fact, to iradicate dowry evil in India, these old and sick people must be
imprisoned without investigation so that their sons can learn lessons for not caring the sincere and wise advice of their wives and in-laws.
Even “Amnesty International†has opposed bail to sick and infirm in-laws of a woman as suggested by a gender insensitive former high court judge. 25000 women dying of dowry is a much bigger problem than only 10000 parents of men falsely getting jailed. Only a handful of
old in-laws of the woman have committed suicide due to false dowry cases than the number of women dying in dowry problem. Of course, who know better about “prisoners of conscience†than Amnesty International.
24) Human rights orgnisations have gone a long way fighting against POTA and TADA. Because even terrorists have the right to international law. Dowry evil is much bigger than terrorism. The number of women getting killed by dowry is much more than the number of people killed by terrorists. So, Human Rights Organisations must campaign for continuation of present laws where the old parents of NRIs and Techies are jailed with just one line of complaint from their daughter-in-law. Even if the complaint is false, arrest of old parents of the man sends a clear message to the society which oppressed women since ages.
25) Recenly, many human rights activists protested against the judge who gave a order criticising imprisonment of 3-year old girl child who spent 3 days in Tihar jail with her whole family (facing dowry harassment charges). This kind of organisations need generous
donations by the people who want to change the world.
26) The fight for women’s rights will never end. So, lets campaign for the people in this world to donate for this great cause. After all, woman’s development is human’s development.
27) Many NGOs in India and abroad have collected millions of dollars for causes of women. Because woman’s development is human’s development and women’s rights are human rights. Because of their dedicated actions in bringing in funds has helped in arresting so many
sick and old people in false dowry harassment cases in urban india. Many of these old in-laws of women have committed suicide out of shame when their daughter-in-law got a bargaining position by filing false dowry cases against them. Because of these generous funds donated by many benovalent people in US, these people can commit suicide. Otherwise, these old people are just a social nuisance. What can be a greater social service than to iradicate social nuisance and create social justice.
28) Recenly, an old couple were arrested in Kerala and transported like animals to Delhi on train to face charges of dowry harassment. Even though they never stayed with their daughter-in-law, but it gives a clear signal to the society that its time the dowry be iradicated.
Please donate to all the NGOs and human rights organisaions generously. Research shows that when more and more women live as single parents, that children become healthy. Children of single mothers in US have become great scientists, researchers and social
reformers. The same needs to be emulated in India so that India can develop.
29) Many NRIs have donated generously for the foreign visits of women’s rights activists. These activists are responsible for bringing patriarchy in India to its knees by championing in favour of detention of all people including old and minors against whom a woman complains
of dowry harassment. Of course, it does not matter even if the in-laws never even stayed with the woman and the case she filed is false. What is important is the social deterrent it creates. India Today reports 55% of divorce cases filed last year has women as primary petitioners.
This must increase to 75% in next few years. The more the divorces and single parenting in india, the earlier we will achieve gender equality.
Indians living in US, who run NGOs and donate to NGOs are as truthful as their own President and propaganda based media. Their perceptions are also as accurate as perceptions of an average American. They also want to change and improve the world just the way
US is improving the world. God will certainly give them and their children long happy life. After all, changing the world by funding extremist feminists which leads to arrests “without investigation†of old and infirm is indeed a noble act. Finally, Karma will give us what
we give to others. As sick and old who can not walk properly make rounds in court, God will bless us all for standing for fighting against patriarchy and conducting garrulous arguments with rigid mindsets brainwashed by media in stead of seeing the subtleties in
social issues. Since ages, we know reductionism (cutting, solving and pasting) solved all great problems !!
Those innocent people who got jailed, whose innocent parents died due to legal terrorism, whose innocent sister can not be married because of multiple criminal lawsuits against her, have got nothing more to lose. Today, they take time out of their “multiple court cases†to help and advise those are abused but not yet 498aed. But, they will do everything to bring to book all those people who have lied or are lying all along.
http://www.saveindianfamily.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily/
Sumanth
August 28th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Looks like some techies ignored the author and hence the venum against all techies.
Ananth
August 29th, 2008 at 12:25 am
@Pinky
You think every family is full of commercial sex workers like you? Therefore you go around talking bad about other’s sisters, well nevermind. Your barking here does not change anything.
My calculation was transparent. Just because you can not afford me does not mean you start to bark like a bitch.
For the others – tell me why should I marry a non-earning girl when I can find someone who earns as much as I do? If these potential housewives want to marry me then they bring some money with them so that we can start a relationship on equal footing.
And Pinky: You can get shocked or go and die, forward this article to all your fathers or all your husbands, I don’t care
Ananth
August 29th, 2008 at 12:27 am
@Pinky = another frustrated girl despo to get married – talking bad about other’s sisters.
You are just a frustrated piece of junk, where did my sister come in between? And also what is the logic in getting money?
Dowry is about getting the girl as well as the money, but jerks like you will not understand, so just shove it up your nose
Rahul Verma
August 29th, 2008 at 12:32 am
Dear Pinky,
If you are not marrying people who demand dowry, the problem is solved. Go and convince others from your speecies too not to marry anyone who asks for dowry.
And about your comment – “Rahul, dun you know what dowry is? But you seems to be justifying dowry demands. Do not act stupid and harass the author, address the problem, suggest the solution.”
You try to define dowry for me and I will tell you what the problem is with your definition. Still if you insist that I am acting stupid, then kindly ignore all my future comments. I can live without discussing senstive topics with a person like you.
(I have tried hard to resist calling you names but I see many others complimenting you, so you know what most people here think about you).
Ananth
August 29th, 2008 at 12:38 am
@Pinky
Who will come to a national poll if it is being conducted by prostituts like you
Ananth
August 29th, 2008 at 12:41 am
@Guys
Understand these prostitut’s strategy: They want to make everyone believe that taking dowry is bad so that they can have a cheaper deal in marriage.
I have posted a complete calculation of how I will earn 1.8 Million USD over my lifetime and how my wife will contribute only 792,000 USD. Hence the rest should come as cash/ assets with her at the time of marriage.
Anyone who is marrying any of these females free of cost is the biggest idiot on earth.
Did you also notice – the prostitut Pinky is already threatening me of sending me to jail, imagine what all she could have done if I was married to her and that too in a country like India. God save the nation.
Gokul
August 29th, 2008 at 2:30 am
Ananth and Pinky congrats, finally someone is getting married due to this post.
Maria
August 29th, 2008 at 4:59 am
@EVERYONE esp @ ANANTH
hi people…it would seem that this topic has evoked many emotions amongst the men and women. I find it thoroughly disgusting Ananth that u have the audacity to call another woman a prostitute and have made comments like ‘find out who ur mother is sleeping with’ to others. u should believe in the substance of ur argument rather than resort to name calling….it is a very low act. likewise whoever said u should be reported to the police is alittle dramatic as this is a site which entitles everyone to their opinions.
let me jsut say that the whole concept of marriage is out of the window and completely lost in todays society. dowry is glamourised…i will tell u in the uk it doesnt exist in terms of clothes …dishes…..bed spreads…..but it exists in terms of buying the husband gold or a car or expensive gifts etc……. but it is glamourised by the word gift when in fact families give this ‘gift’ as it is an indirect plea to look after their daughter. dowry does exist but its just how u glam it up and how direct u r with ur wording and terminology. it exists throughout the world. incidently i am based in England and see it in the dressed up way here.
dowry was tradiotionally asked from the womans family so that she had tall the tools and came well equiped into her husbands house to take on the role of a housewife. the concept has evolved and has been completely distorted and is now a very good business plan for some men.
i find it shocking that men demand dowry. Ananth ur comments do really shock me but once again i think it is due to how blunt u are…..most people ask for it in a round about way but u have just laid out the facts. what i wonder is y do u feel women should pay u to marry u…. y should they earn their keep prior to marrying u? y do u feel that they need to pay this lumpsome to be urs? do u as a man not feel competent enough to provide for ur wife and family. if u are going with tradition then traditionally men are the bread winners and provide for the family…..so do u not see this as ur role. u have stated ur salary which i feel is more than adequate to sustain a comfortable life…..so y is money the issue. if it is such an issue then y not marry someone from the west who is on ur so called level.
the thing with u men is also that u can not handle a woman who is equally educated and financially stable and well spoken like some men. it gives them an inferior complex…. men like to have someone who is jsut a few grades below them but who is not embarasing. its to make them still look like a masculine figure but u tell me what is so masculine or human about asking for dowry? where is the pride or where is the status in asking for dowry….? what basis r u begining ur marriage on? how can u respect a girl like this for life?
i will also tell u that i am a very well established girl in the uk within my professioal field….. i earn an extremely good wage and hold a masters degree…..i am a very well spoken girl and a very independent minded individual…. people who come across me refer to me as a complete package…… i could go alot further in life then i intend to…. should i be asking a guy for dowry? i know that i mite not end up with a guy who earns the same as me but does that mean he has to earn his keep??? yalso if i have children i would become a housewife and remain at home..am i wrong for this? i am against putting my children in a nursery and would like to nurture them and care for them at home but this means sacrificing the wage i could bring home….. but am i wrong for this? and should i split with the father of my children he should pay me money to maintain the lifestyle of the children in question until i am able to return to work…..
I also liek the idea of being a housewife…..cooking and caring for the whole family is a full time job…… u see men come home form wok and wait for their dinner……. u want women to pay their way in marriage so y is it they have to pay their way and then do the housewife jobs on top? u ask for dowry due to the equality issue….well it doesnt exist….. men cant have babies….. how many men do u know that come home and cook for the family on a daily basis? men who clean the household toilet?? men who change the babies nappies?
let me just say that women pay in many ways throughout marriage…..so to ask for dowry is a very shameful act….. it is the wrong basis for marriage. women could turn around and say sign a piece of paper which states that u men will iron the clothes and feed the baby and clean the house and wash the dishes and prepare the meals and do the shopping and do the washing…..but would u men accept?
it is very easy to tell a woman the price she must pay to be ur equal but i ask u if women asked u men to do the same could u? no u never could……… its very easy to highlight that women are the weaker sex but u men are mistaken as it takes a weak man to resort to such low acts in life. these r just greeds of act…… money money and more money.
women are not just there to cook and clean and give birth to children just like men are not there just to earn money…. in a relationship u work things out and compromise but to ask for dowry is just plain wrong….and nothing but a sign of greed and definetly a setup for a marriage that will fail as the base of marriage is wrong.
rips
August 29th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Maria, thanks for your comments. You have put the thoughts much better than these men. You have politely explained your views, while these men who are from some foundation and wants to show their superiority have resorted to cheap words (probably coz they have nothing to justify) to shout for a cause which might be there but cannot underestimate the fact that dowry exists.
I was reading Bangalore Mirror today and if you guys have the paper turn to page 5 and you will get the answer. Sue the Paper if you can guys, coz for you these reports is false. For all those, who cannot access the paper, read these lines?
Married to scoundrel
A married woman finds that her husband, based in China, was not only carrying on affairs abroad but also planning to marry again
There are 10s of such reports daily, but these guys are blinded in their own problems and want to overlook this problem.
Shaleen
August 29th, 2008 at 10:27 am
Hi everyone…while this is true that everyone is talking about his personal problems here, i still believe that we should focus on the original topic of discussion
DOWRY: yes, i have seen some guys interested in taking dowry. 2-3 i remember; but the rest of persons i have met have never even thought of it.
Dowry is the word which is made hugely famous by media, in order to sell news. Emotions erupt when one sees dowry deaths, separations, greedy saas-husband etc etc.
India is a nation is a feminine in character where tears of women can melt the truth and laws are made worse by vested political interests.
It is assumed that women are true always, and they accomplish this by tears very well.
has anyone tried to feel males are human also??? What about the huge number of suicides by married men?? The women’s character has become the deciding factor for Men’s life. If she is happy living with husband, it is fine. If she is not, whatever reason might be, there wouldnt be a divorce, there would be a false dowry case in order to get more money.
While the rape cases are unfortunate for girl, very few are genuine. All true is the hype generated by Indian Media, and the girl.
For complainers about Dowry, the answer is simple: dont marry with the guy who is asking for dowry. you will find hundreds which dont require that.
But gals, raise your voice against the anti-male laws in india as well. The male affected can be your brothers, and in future, your sons also
Ananth
August 29th, 2008 at 11:41 am
@Maria
Here comes another fool who will support other females without using her brains.
You have a problem because I called Pinky a prosti? You do not have a problem when the prosti was calling names to my sister, was threatening to send me to jail?
That shows the mentality of prostis in this country. Well, most of the Indian women are prostis and nothing better than that.
As Madhuvintha earlier said: she just wants to sit at home and make her husband earn. All others have also expressed their points that men are bad but still want to go and lick their pvt organs.
No one has been able to give me a logic why would I marry a non-earning girl if I am getting a partner who will contribute to the earnings of the house. All the women here have been harping about is – dowry is bad, dowry is bad, dowry is bad.
That jerk author has not even been able to define what dowry is. As someone said, the jerk only says ‘thank you’ and ‘well done†to women who support her views.
Now the jerk author has posted another news item about some shit in China, that has nothing to do with dowry, so it looks like the author is just throwing tantrums to gain attention and sympathy here.
As far as females are concerned, Indian females are worth only breeding children, that is what they have done since ages and that is what they will do for centuries to come. Therefore, dowry will never end.
Any man who thinks dowry is bad is a big idiot. He does not understand life. These girls have been able to fool him. Think of them as prostitutes, and calculate their rate for twice a week pleasure. All the love-crap that they give is just to gain economically
Rahul Verma
August 29th, 2008 at 11:42 am
@Maria
Here comes another fool who will support other females without using her brains.
You have a problem because I called Pinky a prosti? You do not have a problem when the prosti was calling names to my sister, was threatening to send me to jail?
That shows the mentality of prostis in this country. Well, most of the Indian women are prostis and nothing better than that.
As Madhuvintha earlier said: she just wants to sit at home and make her husband earn. All others have also expressed their points that men are bad but still want to go and lick their pvt organs.
No one has been able to give me a logic why would I marry a non-earning girl if I am getting a partner who will contribute to the earnings of the house. All the women here have been harping about is – dowry is bad, dowry is bad, dowry is bad.
That author has not even been able to define what dowry is. As someone said, the jerk only says ‘thank you’ and ‘well done†to women who support her views.
Now the jerk author has posted another news item about some shit in China, that has nothing to do with dowry, so it looks like the author is just throwing tantrums to gain attention and sympathy here.
As far as females are concerned, Indian females are worth only breeding children, that is what they have done since ages and that is what they will do for centuries to come. Therefore, dowry will never end.
Any man who thinks dowry is bad is a big idiot. He does not understand life. These girls have been able to fool him. Think of them as prostitutes, and calculate their rate for twice a week pleasure. All the love-crap that they give is just to gain economically
indian_women
August 29th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Rahul, Ananth all of you who have called Indian Women as prostitutes.. Who will marry you and if you fuckers have that much guts, tell the girl’s father these lines:
“Think of them as prostitutes, and calculate their rate for twice a week pleasure…”
See what you will get. And I can bet no girl will want to marry u leave aside you rejecting any girls.
Why doesn’t the site owner expel these members, these are disgrace to Indian Women!
Rahul Verma
August 29th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Dear Indian Women,
My last post was on behalf of Ananth, since he said his posts are geting moderated.
I am sorry about the confusion.
Rahul Verma
August 29th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Dear Indian Women,
Coming to what you are saying: There is never a shortage of girls in the market market : girls who are dying to get married. The number of males in India are more than the number of females, but you always see only females and their families crying ‘We are not getting a proper match’.
I am no-one to judge whether Anant’s views about women like you are justified or not, but knowing girls and their families, I am sure that marriage will never be a problem for guys.
What does a guy get in a marriage?
I have been doing a lot of web searches in the last 3 days and I realised that it is an unfair deal for men and hence if they wish to be compensated, it is their choice.
Women can not claim that their household work is enough contribution to the home – specially when men share household work equally
Admin
August 29th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Friends, especially Rahul, Ananth – We showcased one article based on certain facts we had and wanted people to post their opinion. But now this is going in the wrong direction. It reflects the class you are coming from and also reflects that you all have just bad words to glorify your cause for “Save the family†and False Dowry cases. Our writer Rips is in deep stress, not that she cannot answer your comments, but you all have stooped too low to justify your points. In this process you have also claimed media reports, television channels and even politicians are wrong in their reports and only you and your foundation is right.
I request you all stop writing any more comments; we had enough from you all. I have referred these comments to our legal department and they will do the needful.
Please treat this as a soft warning and do not post any derogatory remarks anymore.
Thanks
Webmaster
Zor Se Bol
Ananth
August 29th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
@Admin,
I am not your friend.
About your legal department: and and they both are welcome to come and kiss my azz. You pimps pf prostis are worth nothing more than that.
I always say the truth, and no empty threats of a-holes like you can deter me, show me what can u do legally?
I am not your husband that you can screw me legally without any proof
Rajesh
August 29th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
I hope Rips/Madhuvanti/Sonal/Preeti have come out of sleep of society
and still beileve that dowry is prevalent
Sonal /Preeti/Madhuvanti, good names that india has, but do you have brothers? if they are married u need to be aware, the only point is we talk a lot of bullshit but do not ssee other side when it strikes then only we understand that Virag, Rahul, Krishna, and more than 1,15000 in 4 years women have got they would never be forgotten.
Tomorrow when a moron sister-in-law comes at your home and u today are saying dowry prevails, i am sure u will also not take or demand, but when ur moron sister-in-law (Bhabhi/cousins sister) is alleging dowry demand in police u will come to this side and say what happened, then i would actually not be happy to know, inspite of knowing and being alert citizens were stupid enough to be arrested on mere allegations of personal grudge which destroyed ur family….and for women u were and are fighting now, u will be shamfull to your own self…
I am not party to anyone, i want to tell u, the fact which is not open to society, U see news papers, how can u challenge that whatever they are saying is correct
news papers say boys earns 50,000 and girl is demanding 20000 Rs becuase she married with boy and boy draws handsome salary, 20000 Rs should be provided to wife who was with boy for 8 weeks and left the home after 3 weeks of international honeymoon …. and on hearing the interim case was dismissed denying money to girl who herself has 7 years of MNC experience and says she is sitting at home and she has no income …
and actually the amount is different which is court of law…
NCW says 70% maintenance is not paid to women, when right to information act was executed no such data was found…
you should have a look at
http://legalfighter.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/deccan-chronicle-coverage.pdf
recent articles when NCW has to say that women are misusing law
when we talk we merely talk what be read, not on overall aspect….
The picture is good i saw, some greedy, i could only relate to
one picture i saw
a man is on women feet begging and female responding with screaming and asking toprovide atm card and password, car keys, and this grl has short skits and sando baniyaan, and has purse with high heels and wants to go to party with another noyfriend is the picture i saw.
so now u can draw your attention to being knowing of what u r saying, than just saying something u thought has hurt ur ego….
u know a boy just got married at 21 , his father thought to settle him in family, the girl filed 498a on next day of wedding and they ran for 3 years in court of law and girl has 3 sisters who have already executed 498a/406 on same story, this was highlighted, case is running since 3 years and magistrates have ack the other party who are goons and girls have indifferent attitude, and have denied any maintenance to girl, but girl side still are harassing using process of law by asking money in higher courts which were again denied by court of law, they went still higher again girls side are denied…..this way the law is open, u can also get entangled….
tioday u (Sonal/preeti/madhuvanti) r saying that dowry is prevailing, listen what NCW has to say (NCW is national commission of women) they have ack that law is misused and family who were never even 1 day with girl are implicated ….
now tell me can a 3.5 year old kid ask or demand dowry, he was also implicated by the bride …. what is this???
can u tell me, if u have kid of 3.5 years and is implicated in dowry case, will u say the law is not misused…
and dowry still prevails….
in may case….my sisters who were in US are implicated
wife stayed 8 weeks, 3 weeks honeymoon, 5 weeks; sisters were only for 2 days and went to US before returning from honey moon, and u see wife filed 498a on entire family sayin the husband demanded 5 lakh rupees for car, and husband already has 3 vehices and 1 car which is only ddriven by husband on weekends and car in 4 years has only ran 5,000 Kilometers i.e. 365*4 =1460 days and 5000 Kilometers and 1460/5000 = 292 meters (0.292 kilometers) not even 1 klilometer a day and this means u get down from your 3 floor apartment and reach maingate of yourcomplex, u have crossed 300 meters and wife knew this,
but judiciary needs everything to be scrutinized based on the time and process of law…
and u see from above logical band what shud u believe…
So reading and believing is altogether a different story, so we shud believe what we know and what we see….
there are lots of friends in your group they say they they do not have good friends, they are your friends, r u not good?
Sonal
August 29th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
@rahul
In whole discussion i saw you are person who has so much time to write against women.This article is about the one most educated society .Because Due to IT We developed lot because of this we indians are in every where in world.
But this artcle pointing a bad thing which is exist in this society.Don’t know wether u r from IT or not ?educated or not?
We girls are ready to marry a guy earning less than us or unemployed but who will take guarantee after marriage these people will not ask dowry to start their business or start new job.
Take example if some boy working in any big company due to some reason he had to left his job aur “Sir IT jisko utattha use utna niche bhi girata hai” then this boy will return the whole amount to girls parent because ab to wo kisi kam ka nahi.
And like Anath people can return all those things to that girl jiska usne Calculation kiya tha..
And boys what5 cost your mother paid to your father and what you people will pay at your sister marriage.
Try to understand the situation of girls parents don’t compare with girl and boys jobs.also try to understand motto of aticle don’t take it wrong way.
Rajesh
August 29th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
@Admin
I believe u wanted to showcase with your way of thinking and what u know from blurred vision of your and wanted to showcase ur thoughts….
I hope u r not a boy, and lateast not married…
When post is open to genuine visions, the things are to be seen in its entirity not on mere blink of thought and with no strategy
Techies u talk upon, the techie has to know what is system and how to wiork with it, what are scenarios, and what is current state of system….and what should happen that u need to take a ccrtain step to correct it….and not loose ur temper when things go in wron direction….
u urself have uncalled for these articles, which u thought will give u prominance….but its good that if u r boy u are aware that for no reason u and ur family can go to jail and give money to wife even if she is in MBNC and says in court of law that she needs money becuase she does not earn even if she earns how can u prove and u will be impltcaed in a case for 5-10 years and paying money to ur wife who enjoyed ur cmpany and enjoyed ehr time and now becuase of her untenable and unjust reasons stays in parent house and demands open money from u
so be alert and have a whole aspect of society and just dont bunk in saying some one is critising u, learn it from others, and dont make mistakes…
its not ego bro, its life u bneed to be aware what has happened, whats happening in currne and wht u need to do…
so hurting some one is not goig to be ur concious at the end, it might start though from some triffle, and can burst into ur heart and u will be held liable with no fault of urs
todays generation has a lot of ego, even small things burn up to major scale, and we seldom believe and see that happenes whoch u never thought upon….like this article….written with prominance to capture widfe angle of society….when u know 1,15,000 women arrested in 4 years u have opened ur eyes, atleast u have ack that this is menace, this means u r open to change, but some people who have a lot of ego, they are not open mnded and specially becuase of this lack of understanding might feel themseleves in shoes which they never thought they could be in becase of their own self attributed ego…
so guys open ur minds and as Anath said, he can be sued with no reasons, but the person who tried to sue, will get implicated in long run whch he / she may not have thought for and which would have been uncalled for and life is gone waste and the investment of time, reputation burns with the flick of ego…
so cheers, enjhoy life, know the reality dont think like stupids, be alwert citizens, i believe only point of arguement was know the truth
and the idea was to create awareness that this happenes, beware ur families can be in danger with no fault of your or anyones….
Rajesh
August 29th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
@Sonal u r hell bent on proposing ur comments to be sacrosanct
its ur perception now, tomorrow when u r sued then u will realize what Rahul/Virag have been talkin upon
it would be waste of time to discuss on things which are not understtod just read, ego hurt felt and coomented if things are not taken in its entirity….
the whole idea is to udnerstand this happens….
tomorrow i can bet u can also get implicated
u wud believe that u dontand will not take dowry, but if someone sues u in court of law, u will understand that what u said u beileved in it, but it did not make sense when u r implicated falsely
Admin
August 29th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Rajesh
I haven’t your entire article, but will do so in few minutes. I m married and have not taken a single penny as dowry. Secondly I m a techie as well and having seen the harsh truth, I discussed this point with the author who have put her thoughts.
I m aware of the false dowry cases and seen many cases as well. But I m not using this topic of dowry to highlight many social issues, including false dowry, male-harassment and others.
I m shocked with writers like Ananth, who has damaged my whole purpose by writing such bad things about Indian Women. Dun you think that is wrong. For 110,000 odd cases you have put more than million girls in the same category? Is that justfied?
Dowry is one of the social issue we need to tackle. False Dowry and misuse of section 498a is another issue where I extend my full support as well. There are considerable cases against both men and women. So please support both the cause. Saying prost. etc cannot glorify your cause.
I again request, you are most welcome to write against this topic but without any derogatory remarks please.
Thank you for accepting that request!
Rajesh
August 29th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
@ Indian Women,
I belie u r really current generation women which we are proud of…blink eye and says what she understood is GODS THOUGHT and taken “as-is”
i can see ur comments how vehemently u have challeneged the person like Rahul, i hope u dont know him…as i think most of society know Rahul, and mere ur tangles for him may not craete any solidity in my eye, because lots of pepople know Rahul and u dont know, this caretes a little more doubt on your awareness of society and its current working and i believe many people will say i have only 24 hours a day for work….how can u judge when u have no time apart from ur own duties…
I am still proud because ur identity atleast saya u r Indian Women….
There is lot more requirement of indian women, and hence i can decisively say, the U INDIAN WOMEN has many things to think and then only say something which is valid
otherwise u can keep ur thought within yourself, unless u r sure, u know what u r saying is not hurting other women sentiments….
and the things Rahul has said are to be uderstood and not merely read and barked upon
Supriya
August 29th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I happened to come on this site for BIG BOSS 2 videos and happened to watch this debate on Dowry.
To all the guys above;
I am working @ big MNC (Bangalore division) and drawing a salary of 90k+ per month inclusive taxes. I am a beautiful, independent strong minded girl. If I wish, I can make any boy like you to come and lick my toes at the click of a finger. And after seeing the comments from Ananth, I can see that he will be the first one to come and lick my toes for the sake of money I am earning.
Do you guys have this kingly feeling in urself that there are many women who are out to marry people lik u. Ha ha ha!! Biggest joke of the year… If I am given a chance to marry a guy who will take money (or expect my salary as an income), I will spit on his face the very next second. For me such men are not men only. A man should have the guts and audacity to say I AM A MAN. I DO NOT NEED ANYONE’S MONEY. I WILL KEEP U HAPPY IN WHAT I EARN. Go and ask the autowala near ur home and he will be telling this dialogue.
Shame on u educated guys that u dont speak such things.
Now, If u call me a prostitute, slut or whatever, I do not care either. Coz just coz u call I wont become one.
If you have the least shame left in u, stop criticizing women. Criticize the women who are wrong (who made u cry, I have no issues with it) but here u are generally passing a comment on all women. And I am a women and I cant take it!!!
Rajesh
August 29th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
@Admin
O really u think i said those millions of women fall in another category, or i did not even speak about…
rather than reading between the lines you are adding two implied lines to make a subject and doing ZOR SE BOL
rather than adding ur two linesdo u think Sonal/preeti/Rips Ms India Women are and may not fall into arrest innocently?
do u justify by making unintentional statement merely on ur thought u deprive rights to Madhuvanti / sonal/preeti who also fall from that million catgory which u have tried to drag them in this net? is this Justified dude…
as i said i am not here to do controvercy to say something illogical?, neither i intend to say something which is not said…
the justification of article is mere a baiss of illusion and self thought and heard, without validating the truth
so saying something from my point of view a an oipnion will make difference….IS THIS JUSTIFIED TO IMPOSE SOMETHING I BELIEVE AND SHOULD BE SACROSANCT?
is the only question to your emssage when u are writing this article with half slept eyes.
and now open mind, with keeping society in mind,and creating something nuisance by saying ZOR SE BOl
u r only saying ZOR se that u r nuts if u have not taken this learning in ur life as learning and thinking some one hurt ur ego….
u will feel the pain if u r married and harassed by false allegations
u r saying ur friend whoi is girl said this something to you and belived….but did u tryy to know indepth the actual things under the carpet and behind 4 walls, dd she tell u what happened in four walls, did u try to evaluate what ur girl who is ur friend has his husband who may have another side of story…?
so by merely reading and knowing one side and believeing is inappropriate and imposing ur thought by craeteing mess in society is another bullshit that one will do by his/her implied thoughts
as i said its not hurting, but letting bitter truth might save u in ur future….
niether i would wish that ur mother/sister who are currently falling in your self made category to win the arguement fall in 1,15,000 to 2,15,000 is really not the intentions
so clear thought and clear knowledge will help all of us to build this knwoledge than slangly at the turf without having pure knowledge and insight
lets talk without presumptions
Rajesh
August 29th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
@ Aupriya,
hats off to you not being cared by is someone calling u slut/pros….
i will not even try to speak ion this we respect women, but who are not PRO’s in society, who learn society and react to hisband and family to their wills…..
i hope u r not one of them, but i will wish u r not killed by this menace and u r not implicated in fasle caases which are norm of society since last 4 years for rural women who have access to internate, earn but say that husband demended money and we read and beleiev and show sympathy without out know the truth and recting on basis of news because it was printed….
so geetting heat is not enough to say which from the heat is created untill known that heat is created from X entity
and implying self thought is mere a thought , u have a thought and u say it, then u relaize wht i said”call me slut does not make a differnetce…”
but believe me. if some one calls u slut, u will react altogether in diffenrt way to him/her …
by saying it is not believe , think if someone in ur neighbor calls u slut/pros…. u will react to it very indiffernetly….it would be a blow if some cone calls u whej u r with ur frends
and it would be altogether diferent if some one calls in front of ur parents…
and not to mentions in some party where ur relatives listen someone calling u sl…and pro… by attaching someones name…
so dont go just by saying things becuase u think shud be said…
the only mesage is to keep awreness this happens and be alert that this menace does not happen to u
Rajesh
August 29th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
@Rips /@Admin
be mature and kind enought to modify this little knowledge we have shared across and spread the knowledge which is truth based on concrete, dependable and reliable data across the world….
and try to curb the deliberate, self implied thought, derived data which is not documented but on the lips….
lips says thousand words, why do u have to believed when it can be changed in a matter on second…
is the only suggestive opinion and which is not next to nature
so please care enough, i know the knowledge u wanted to sahre by doing ZOR SE BOL will look enough when u modify this article to entail the truth so that tomorrow if u create another blog or ZOR SE BOL
u should be pariased than cursed to death without mercy
so pelase do the needfull and tell the mature minds understand and change is inevitable, u said becuase of prevalent knowledge of 4 -10 eyars back and then u did not get time to know….
now society is not away from you, and can tell u what is reality….
so be brave enough to justify ur gained knwoledge and apply being practical in nature
i can certainly share u the official data but only on request, if u really need one, otherwise every one has ego, how can i say this is wrong which i had done earlier….if u rin presumptions,,….
i also make thousand mistakes but i correct them when i learn something new
i m s/w professional, i have made 1000 mistakes in a day, i make few this date, i have learnt that many things do not go my way because i think so, and i change accordingly, i have to change because that is what creates pure system and today i udnerstand why ui am happy changing what it should be, and i try to find how can i contribute to make the system work as needed….
simillarly, we are all humans make mistake, human is capable of making mistakes …. but he / she has advantage to correct….whch is what practical human symbolizes….
so add and apply ur knowledge accordingly so that ur article is really appreciated then u being cursed for ur life time from innocent women, sisters, child etc…
Krishna Tripathi
August 29th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
I am saying from yesterday We dont want dowry and we dont support it either (Rahul, Virag and Anant all are saying the same thing). But all the ladies here are shouting here that we are greedy. We only say that this word dowry should be used more cautiously and the boys and their parents should not be cursed outright. As you do, we are also against all such demands. girls say here that money should not enter a relation. fine. but then there should be no alimony in case of a divorce.
I find many ladies here claiming high salaries. fine. but how much their husbands earn? i hope none is unemployed.
a lady asks what is the gurantee that an unemployed guy will not demand dowry later. no gurantee. no relationship comes with a gurantee card. guys can also ask “what is the guarantee that he will not be implicated in a false case if he dont demand dowry?”
the basic thing is that money is needed for the set up of a new home. since both parties enjoy the set up, both should contribute to it. anant also says this but in a more blunt way. if, as it happen most cases, the girl is not earning she may bring it in the form of “streedhan” (misconception of dowry will again project me bad here). if the girl is earning and the guy is not, he can claim other responsibilities and bring money from parents for the home set up.
girls claim huge alimony in case of divorce. if the decision to marry was a joint one, why the husband bears the brunt of its breakup? in this situation, the husband is always in a pressure to keep the relation going because in the other case he will have to pay huge allimony and also defend humself and family members from criminal charges. if this is the situation created by the feminists, i m afraid guys who do not demand dowry will be forced to ask for it. money is needed by the in case of marriage breakup. for allimony, for his lawyer and for her lawyer as well.
finally, as i am trying to convey to the author since yesterday and for which i was labeled greedy by the author, i just want to say we dont need any dowry but at the same time, for the betterment men and women themselves, i urge that this term should not be used by inexperienced people based on a sample survey of 100 people and that girls parents should give their daughter her due share in the property (however small it may be). further, dowry should not be made to project the husband and family as bad. if dowry is not the cause of rejection of a girl, she should gracefully accept it because otherwise a false cry of wolf will, at time of need, supress a genuine cry.
Krishna
girls please reply to one question.
Krishna Tripathi
August 29th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Mr Admin,
As you said
**********************
Dowry is one of the social issue we need to tackle. False Dowry and misuse of section 498a is another issue where I extend my full support as well.
**********************
Dowry and false 498a are not two different issues. They must be treated under the same umbrella. Whenever you will write about the menace of dowry we will write about the misuse of 498a and other laws. Following should be treated simultaneously
Dowry
Misuse of 498a ipc
Misuse of Dowry laws
Use/ Misuse of DV act
Allimony laws (particularly whn the husband is asked to pay the maintenance even if the wife is adultrous!! as proposed)
Custody laws
Elder abuse
Women abuse (women of husbands side)
extinction of joint family system
adultry laws
You just cant isolate them.
Krishna
Jagdish
August 29th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
you guys and girls seems to be fighting like cats and dogs. Why bring old issues such as Dowry man! The writer probably had no work so wrote. But you guys are fighting for no reason. There are other good topics to discuss, Kashmir, IT growth, US Slowdown/Recission, China into IT… write about those man.. stop popularising this topic… waste of time
Wipqjsim
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:39 pm
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XXX
October 5th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Hi
I am James from UK and have been working with Indian firms for all my software projects. I like India’s tradition and culture, however when I hear something that relate to child marriages, dowry, how women is looked down upon and women abuse I felt very bad. I keep searching about these articles so that I can put my views as well. Here are my observations:
I was working with a New Delhi firm and the guys there were quite friendly. They were very good with work though their communication and English was very poor. I invited two guys to come to UK as we had client presentation and that’s where those guys opened up. One was from Behar and another from Haryan. They thanked me for inviting for UK and the reason was – that will increase their marriage price. I was like what? Then one of them said they can demand huge money from girl’s parents as they are in Computers and have even visited London. I asked why they would demand money. The software guy said because his parents have spent too much to get him educated, he paid bribe to get into a university. I asked is he marrying a retarded girl or girl without a job. He said no the girl is a graduate, but he will make her stay with her parents initially so that she can learn the tricks of managing home and take care of the house. They further said most of their friends are delaying marriage as one offshore trip can double their marriage price!
When I discussed this with my friends over the weekend, they were surprised too, but had similar stories to discuss. We were shocked. My impression of those good guys was no more. I felt I did wrong by bringing them here. Later when I did an internet study I found that girl’s parents take loan or even put everything into mortgage to finance the marriage! Ridiculous!
Later I thought of abandon the work with that firm, but I knew many of the firms might have same stories and many might not disclose that in public.
And then I read this blog. Very well written, I endorse whatever you have written based on my experience as well. But why do girl’s parents pay? If everyone stops paying then this demand will automatically stop. So the main problem is not techies alone but parents buying grooms! There should be change in laws as well to punish the parents who pay money for marriage.
Keep the good work up author, awareness is the best prevention mechanism.
Cheers
J
Jatinder Singh
November 27th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
In the beginning witter wrote about how dowry began. She has not given facts correctly.
Dowry is in Europe also.
What is surprising is that dowry was a tradition for centuries through out world.
Indian girl only get 5 – 10% from her father wealth as dowry & Europeans get 50%.
@ XXX
The Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay), which is one of the biggest cities in the world, and the city of Tangiers, in Morrocco, were given as a dowry by the Portuguese crown to the British when King Charles II of England, Scotland and Ireland married Catherine of Braganza, a princess of Portugal in 1661.
How much did your wife bring as dowry / share in her father’s property. Please do not think that dowry is a problem but problem is misuse of law & attempt to show every death of a woman as dowry death even if she dies of illness.
Feminists organizations are to be blamed for dowry being highlighted in India. Law should ba made that girl has equal right in property & then no dowry.
In case marriage is broken then girl asks for huge settlement & alimony. Can feminists explain this. Why should husband pay when wife is not offering any services. What for does husband pay.
I married out of sympathy that girl’s father is no more. He was known to my father also.
Now I face a false dowry case.
Her uncle is judge, another uncle DSP [who made FIR against us] & many other influential people.
After more than 6 months police has not been able to file charge sheet. We have challenged them to file charge sheet if we dowry seekers.
Please read this link to understand why false cases are filed.
http://tipok70.wordpress.com/false-dowry-case-by-niece-of-a-judge/
US & UN have acknowledged that false dowry cases are being filed & kids and elderly people are being subjected to cruelty.
I challenge anyone in this world to help police to file charge sheet if the case on me is correct.
There are girls who freely misuse dowry law as it is more stringent than law on terrorism. Are Indian husbands a bigger threat to nation than terrorists is question I would like to know. They can be put in jail just on allegation by a girl who is called wife [worries included for ever].
I have written mails to my out laws challenging them if their case if based on facts. They have blocked my id.
In court they only ask is compromise. I call this compromise a legal extortion. I got no dowry & they demand in lacs from me.
So to cover these kind of expenses please ask cash so that you are not at loss as I am in.
I am not compromising & daring them to fight the case. I have filed cases against my out laws
STRANGE : as per 498a girl cannot be punished even if you prove that it was false case for extortion.
What kind of justice is this. Girls was equality then why do they want themselves to be safe even from a false case. 498a if a feminists law made with female brain Indira Gandhi.
Are girls from family of Harish Chander that police puts whole family in jail just on her words & they even cannot be prosecuted for false dowry case. I this a law or some kind of cruel joke.
I did not ask dowry but my whole family is punished. Girl has even blamed my sister who is abroad & gave a diamond ring to bitch.
She took all jewelery & has filed sec 406 for istri dhan. Do not give valuable to girl & she will vanish the day she gets chance. Just give small amount to your wife & ask hisaab of every penny. I made mistake of trusting my wife.
Bitch even took my daughter with her. She made passport of my child without my knowledge.
She tried to get her adopted but I interfered.
DO NOT TRUST WIFE, DO NOT GIVE LOCKER KEYS TO HER & KEEP ALL CASH SAFELY.
WIFE COMES FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUND SO NEVER TRUST HER.
MARRY ONLY TO HAVE KIDS & HOPE THAT IF MARRIAGE CONTINUE YOU CAN SEE FACES OF YOUR CHILDREN.
UNDERSTAND THAT LAW IS COMPLETELY TILTED TOWARDS WOMEN AND THEN MARRY.
PLEASE JOIN SAVE INDIAN FAMILY BEFORE YOU MARRY.
rips
November 28th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
In the beginning witter wrote about how dowry began. She has not given facts correctly.
I agree I have not given any facts, but its a known fact and people like you and others want to blindfold yourself with the reality
Dowry is in Europe also.
So, shall we rejoice about the fact that Europe has that evil and that itself justifies the fact that we can take in India
What is surprising is that dowry was a tradition for centuries through out world.
There were many century old tradition like Child Marriage. Dun you like what is evil and wrong should be rectified or you want to praise the fact that you are maintaing the old heritage traditions?
Indian girl only get 5 – 10% from her father wealth as dowry & Europeans get 50%.
Getting wealth and demanding wealth are two different things. Again my story is about demand and not sharing of wealth by the girls’ family. Even if the Girl’s family has say Rs 1 million, the boy family wont borther and should say – Look my market rate is 5 million, gimme that, so stop comparing gifts/sharing with unlawful demands!
@ XXX
The Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay), which is one of the biggest cities in the world, and the city of Tangiers, in Morrocco, were given as a dowry by the Portuguese crown to the British when King Charles II of England, Scotland and Ireland married Catherine of Braganza, a princess of Portugal in 1661.
Thanks for the fact, does not make good sense though
How much did your wife bring as dowry / share in her father’s property. Please do not think that dowry is a problem but problem is misuse of law & attempt to show every death of a woman as dowry death even if she dies of illness.
UNlawful demands and using your position and status is illegal, harassing the girl for dowry is illegal and at the same time misuing the law is even more illegal and the concerned girl or family should be HEAVILY PUNISHED for misusing. I still stand by that. However, even if the law is misused by 100 girls and 1 girl is harassed by techie or any sector of guys I will stand by this article!
Feminists organizations are to be blamed for dowry being highlighted in India. Law should ba made that girl has equal right in property & then no dowry.
I guess there is already a law for equal rights on the father’s property, not sure though, will update here shortly!
In case marriage is broken then girl asks for huge settlement & alimony. Can feminists explain this. Why should husband pay when wife is not offering any services. What for does husband pay.
I agree, Alimony and Settlement shouldn’t be there, however if the girl has contributed to the family and the business/service and the welfare of the house, dun you think she should get something? Say she has dropped her career for the welfare of the family and suddenly one fine day there is a problem and guys says I want divorce, how will she live her life. Further court onloy grants Alimony if he/she certain facts.
I married out of sympathy that girl’s father is no more. He was known to my father also.
Now I face a false dowry case.
Her uncle is judge, another uncle DSP [who made FIR against us] & many other influential people.
After more than 6 months police has not been able to file charge sheet. We have challenged them to file charge sheet if we dowry seekers.
I sympathize with you Jatinder, but your case is slightly off the post. The girl is using the influence of her uncles to create issue for you and I stand by you. If she is guilty, she should be heavil;y punished and her uncle’s professional degree/post should be banned for the live so that others get a lesson.
Jatinder Singh
December 5th, 2008 at 3:58 am
I took no dowry & my views towards changed after marriage.
Treat them like bitch is best as I gave respect & got 498ed instead.
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January 25th, 2009 at 6:16 am
U have to agree that the problem is not women wanting to marry an educated guy – that is by all means reasonable, if she is equally educated – there is nothing wrong is wanting to share your life with somebody one can connect with.
Why should money be a factor at all? There is absolutely no justification from the boys side that says:
1. I think you want to marry me because you want to marry “up” ( it could be that she is just as educated but for some reason a lot of men do believe they are up.. )
2. Ok, I will marry you, but you need to pay.
I mean if you really think that the girl is marrying you just to marry up, why marry her at all. Marry somebody else for the right reasons and don’t take the money…. How do you justify taking the money by blaming women for wanting what she thinks is a suitable match.
In the same vein – really ladies you agree that being single is a blessing compared to marrying a moron. Why go with it? Why pay and marry a moron for heaven’s sake? Bad enough if he is free. The world has a lot more opportunities for women these days and if we want to correct society, we have to correct it in our lives and priorities. If a family that comes by your place to “see U” talks about anything more than introducing you to their son – if they talk about diamond sets and stellar weddings, politely show them the door whether you or your parents can afford it or not. Even if you can foot the bill I definitely this will lead to more problems later and this is NOT the start of happily ever after…
mnop
January 25th, 2009 at 7:47 am
Alimony and dowry are seperate things altogether. It is always the person who earns more who pays the other and if there are kids involved that is more complicated.
Of course people make sacrifices that they wouldn’t if they get married. Of course men and women give up a little of themselves and invest themselves that they could be doing so many other things if they were alone. If there are children of course it is the parent’s responsibility to support them – I don’t think this in anyway compares to setting a price for oneself while getting into it.
U did not pay me for marrying you. So now, after we’ve had two kids, I’m leaving. Heck no I won’t pay for them or U.
So by this logic, woman will pay the man to have the honor of marrying him, so that if he leaves he will pay for her and more importantly their children and if she does not pay him for the honor of marrying him, her other sacrifices for staying in the family don’t count.
I wish people who have such feelings towards marriage and see it as a deal where you lose, would not marry.
There is misuse – I am sure there are women /parents who take advantage of this system too. But don’t we all see that the problem is the system itself and not that handful of women. Unless we resolve to fix it, there will be “bad” men and “bad” women. As long as we accept this as a “reality” and a “way of life” we are all going to be hurt in some way or the other.
The system of dowry is unfair and defeats the purpose of marriage. Whichever gender of people use it, pardon the awkward construct, it is going to have problems and I don’t agree with any justification whatsoever.
Alimony cannot be equated to dowry in anyway. Compensating someone who has invested his or her life for your gain after a relationship ends does not equate to buying a relationship.
Linda
April 15th, 2009 at 10:45 am
What about techie men who want to marry women instead of girls?
Linda
April 15th, 2009 at 10:46 am
I bet a lot of these problems would happen less often if marriage was always between men and women instead of boys and girls. Adults are more mature and can handle the math better than children can, after all.
Sonia
April 27th, 2009 at 9:59 am
there is nothing like dowry, only dowry laws are there to harrash husband and his relative.
if anyone is not aware of it. I curse/wish they should be soon get 498a’ed and see real women empowerment.
Sonia
April 27th, 2009 at 10:01 am
just do google search and you tube search using 498a keyword, you will see reality
Pooja
April 27th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
“google search and you tube search using 498a keyword”
There is nothing like dowry, only dowry laws are there to harress husband and his relative.
if anyone is not aware of it. I curse/wish they should be soon get 498a’ed and see real(?) women empowerment.
I wonder, so called EDUCATED(?), why don’t we talk on Achiving “Family Harmony”
I don’t support Dowry(as it’s BAD by Law), but I look towards it as a TEST between two family, how they handle a FAMILY ISSUE of Exchange before/after marriage(a union of two family and NOT only two person)
David
April 27th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
I know of a techie girl who is working a reputed MNC and earns a good salary. She is from a middle class family whose parents are living in a village. She was marrried to a techie guy working in an indian firm. That guy earns less the lady and still was paid 1 million as dowry. So was the pressure for the lady that her savings were paid as a part of the dowry.
And that guy will now be paid dowry for the lifetime…huh…
virag
April 27th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Why did the girl pay the dowry to the man? Does not the girl know that dowry giving is also a crime and is equally punishable as taking?
The problem with the society is that it pampers girls and then makes men pay the price. Why are those girls not booked who forcefully give dowry or make a false claim of dowry giving and make away with the bounty?
There are enough number of men I have seen who were forcefully given dowry and later booked under dowry cases and those cases get reported in the media as dowry demanded.A
As far as techies are concerned, why do girls marry them if they are also not aspirant of a lavish and luxurious lifestyle?
I am a counselor of men’s issues and I get cases from Non Techie men that girls are refusing to marry them since they cannot provide them with lavish lifestyle like a techie. Why is this greed of girls not highlighted?
Why is a girl always viewed as a victim in a dowry case? Are all girls born in a Raja Harishchandra’s family?
rips
April 27th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Virag
In all cases, girls or the girls’ family do not enjoy paying dowry, they are forced to. Now the time has changed and try asking the dowry from any educated working girl, you will get the right answer.
False claim on dowry is also a big crime and I agree many girls have taken the advantage of the law. But that’s a separate issue, how are you justifying dowry by saying many men are victim of false dowry claims! And further compared to dowry deaths, torture and other brutality faced by the girls relating the dowry, the false claims are much less.
If you have met enough number of men, I have also met enough number of women who were and are tortured for more money from their greedy, money-thirsty in laws.
And if you question me – Why the subject techies? Techies are considered to be highly qualified, exposed to the western culture where similar culture like dowry is not prevalent and techies earn more as well, so why should they need money from the girl’s side? But shamefully, many techies use their “job position” as a catalyst for asking more money!
And finally why girls marry techies? Every parent would like their girl to live in a good house and have good amenities. Its not the boy leaving his house for the girl and living with the girl’s parent (unless he wants to be Ghar Jamai), its the girl who leaves his parent house and lives with the boy and/or his family. So whats wrong in expecting a better living?
What you have done here is in order to justify a crime against you (if any), you have mixed other topics. Your topic on false dowry claims is a separate issue and may be Indian Government should do something about it, but what I have highlighted here is more important – Dowry is still existing in this society and shame on learned people who enjoy taking it!
venky
April 28th, 2009 at 2:37 am
rips,
I really pity on you when you say only techies can give better life and amenities for a girl.
It is 100% greedy from girl’s parents and a long term agenda to fulfill.
1. Marrying a techie 90% end up in going to abroad.
or get married to an NRI easily a girl can land in foreign countries.
2. Based on their daughter getting a citizenship through a son-in-law helps the parents and girl’s siblings to get sponsorship by daughter to land in foreign countries easily.
3. Even if girl gets divorced they can easy extract huge money.
Why this concept of free lunch for girls exit in India?
Don’t you think there needs a change?
Most of the girls who get married to techies these are the reasons.
Also you mean non-techie men can’t provide a reasonable life for a girl?
Why not girl’s parents look for how good the guy is, instead
of amenities and how luxury a girl can lead the life?
why not girl and her parents change for better life then worrying about luxury?
A guy having reasonable job and who can take care of their daughter is import but not lottery dreams.
When girl and her family is not ready to change for good how will the system change?
Where should all non-techie guys go and get married?
You yourself agreeing and creating a demand for techie guys…when there is a high demand for something automatically you know what happens.
rips
April 28th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Venky,
You dun need to pity on me, spend that time doing some useful work. I have people who supports me and that’s what I need, not some pity-sity from guys like you!
Where did I say techies can ONLy give better life? I said Techies are said to be highly qualified and good earning community. And accordingly they are expected to have a good living standard. Further, even an IPS officer or a professional with some MNC companies are said to have a good living standard too. And Girl’s parent have that as one of the criteria, not all!
1. Marrying a techie 90% end up in going to abroad – Thats wrong – Its hardly 30% and that too in long term and many of times the Guy goes for only short term project basis – Get your stats clean Mr. Venky
2. Getting Citizenship – Well, to some extent, whats wrong in living with that dream. A girl is willing to leave her parents and may be even a job, cant she expect a better life style in a developed country. Dun you techie also yearn for getting to a foreign country? But again let me tell you, after living for few years outside India, many long to return back to their country and I dun need to detail the reasons why? Right?
3. Why are you giving this topic different debate? Tell that you do not have enough justification and you accept that techies use their position to demand big dowry. What a girl does comes after the DOWRY demand is placed. Is that what we should be discussing?
Further, you are justifying dowry demands on the basis of – Girl’s greed, Girl’s family greed, Girl willingness to go to abroad, then get divorce, then get the citizenship etc! I mean what kind of co-relation does that hold for demanding money from bride’s family?
Me and My family will look for a better guy irrespective of his being a Techie or Non-Techie. But again my emphasis on this post was why should techie demand dowry when -
1. He is getting an equally qualified girl
2. When he earns a good money and should not be expecting HUGE monetary benefits from the Girl’s Parents
3. When he should be discouraging other communities from taking/giving dowry.
4. When he should be rejecting those offers which are powered by money, jewels and other benefits!
Think again as to what I meant! Read again as to what I intend to say and then comment!
Harreshed Husband
May 22nd, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Dawry : in simple terms , Its bit scandel famenists are playing against men for there benifit. Who is getting advantage ?
1. Lawyers , who dont know how to earn just telling wife to put falsey dawry case against hurband and fabricate the things.
and maintenance.
2. Police: Who fabricating the case , they always try to extract money from husband by torchering them.
3. 498A bitch (prostitute): In shape of almoney
Guys come on Dont be quite now.
Prostitution is better then 498A ,I think Govt should provide them valid licence of prostitute if any girl try to use this false 498a just to extract money ..Its money extorsion racket ….lets blow it up …
MOHAMMED
July 18th, 2009 at 1:53 am
when my mother knows the whole thing she got heart attack and admitted in hospital for 15 days she mentally disturb for me how i suffer
MOHAMMED
July 18th, 2009 at 1:58 am
MOHAMMED
July 6th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
I WANT 2 KNOW ALL THE MATTER ABOUT DOWRY CASE
IAM AFRAID ABOUT MY WIFE CAN BE PUT ME IN PRISON FOR FALSE DOWRY CASE BCOZ SHE GONE 2 HER MOTHER HOUSE WHEN I GET 2 BRING HER BACK SHE REFUSE COME WIT ME AND HER BROTHERS ABUSE IN FILTHY LANGUAGE AND BEATED ME AND THEY FEAR ME U WILL PUT BEHIND BARS EVEN KILL 2 ME MY ALSO SHARE THE ABOVE MY WIFE ALSO SHARE IN THAT WHOLE MATTER
Vinisha
December 1st, 2009 at 3:59 pm
This question is for Mr. Ananth:
I earn more ( lot more) than what my husband earns, yet I do cokking, cleaning, looking after the kids and all the other house chores with no help from my husband. So what according to you is the ideal situation here? Should I not demand for a dowry, since I not only earn more than him but also end up cooking for him, washing his clothes and everything else for him free of cost? And even after all that he still happens to demand for dowry in directly.
Vinisha
December 1st, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Rahul,
I am sorry to say, but this has happened to me where my husband earns less than me and yet my aprents were the one who ended up taking care of the entire expenditure of the marriage, and not only that they were the ones who arranged for the furnishings of the new house and the groom and his parents were so good hearted that though they knew that their son is earning less, they still indirectly demanded for lot of things.. this has happened to me so for me i still believe that dowry system does exist…
Mala
December 1st, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I agree with Vinisha. I m now happily married to a guy who took no dowry and we are very happy. But I wanted to add one incident, which happened to me.
I live in Pune and my parents are from a native village. My relatives arranged a meeting with a techie guy, who was working in an MNC, incidently, my friend use to work there as well.
He was a nice guy and we had few hrs of dicussion and had the initial approval. We spoke for few days and then I said YES to my parents and received the similar Yes from the guy.
All was well, he use to call me daily. And then one day he said, so what will you all give me as presents in the marriage. I thought he was talking about the usual present and told him that he can expect good gifts. Then he said, what about a Car and say a Holiday to Europe as he loves Europe.
I was shocked. I said we cannot afford that and probably after marriage I can take a Car Loan and buy a car.
This seems to have annoyed him and he says he and his parents have spent lakhs on his studies and soon he will be going to UK for a project. Where can I get a guy like that? This was the first time he was speaking all this (after spending over a month speaking to each other).
Next day my parents called me and scolded why did I rudely speak to the guy. And now the list came like this -
1. Santro Car or better
2. Gold in tune of 3-4 sets for me and 1 set for my in laws, one for my sister-in-law
3. Rs 10 lacs Cash
4. And Misc gifts to all relatives.
5. Honeymoon to Europe or Singapore wherever possible.
I felt cheated. Didn’t my parents spend money on my studies. I was also working in an MNC and was earning almost at par with this guy. I did not respond and asked my parents to stop contacting him. Thankfully my parents understood that they are selfish greedy pigs.
But that Shameless guy called me after few days and said if I was not interested, he has more offers! I could not believe he had guts to even say that. I thought of exposing him in front of media, but why waste time and energy in this useless stuff.
I did however made a point to narrate the story to my friend working in the company and she did her best to spread across office. Last I heard was he left the company for some other offer!
I m happy I stood strong and did not give up to their demands. Else I would have been either harassed daily or would have killed, who knows
ashwin
August 21st, 2010 at 9:26 am
If a woman is un educated , and the man is making a huge salary, how is it fair for the women to claim half the share of his income, without spending a penny while the man’s parents have shouldered huge costs for his education. Would it not be fair if the woman’s parents give half the money and then the husband and wife have a equal share in man’s income. I am not supporting dowry (just trying to be fairer to the other gender) and request you not to be emotional and abuse me. I am explicitly stating that there may be many many other situations where an equal earning women is asked for dowry and I agree it is unfair then!
feel free to email me at ashwin87gre at gmail.